LONG TERM KEEPING OF MALICE

Are you one of those that keep malice for a long time? I used to be, and still can be, but I guess maturity has taken a better part of me. I remember in my school days, I will keep malice with my seat mate for months. We literally shared the same bench and table, but we would not talk to one another. We were both in the same house as well, but not the same room.

Will I say I enjoyed it? Yes, because we wanted to see who would be the first to apologize, certainly not me. What events lead to such malice keeping? Heated arguments, quarreling, false accusations, gossip etc I for one hate false accusation, I will definitely not be in speaking terms with you for such attitude, but I can handle a heated argument. After all, we both want to make a statement. Malice keeping helps you prove a point most times, I do it because I want to be heard, I want to stand for truth and not based on lies. I will not speak to you or resolve the matter till you come to terms with the fact of you being wrong.

In 2014, I was accused of what I did not do. I was so calm because I knew deep down I did nothing. In fact the accuser categorically told me not to ever speak to him again. I remained calm and listened to what he had to say. I never did call that person after those instructions, but I sent text messages to always wish him well on birthdays and anniversaries, he never did reply one. This went on for years, and I gradually started fading away, in the sense that, I was gradually forgetting that person. He was never in my thoughts anymore, and I cared less. We are now in 2017, the situation is still the same, and I would not make any efforts to make contact with the person unless he willingly calls me.

Another experience would be with someone who I shared a house with. He just stopped talking to me out of frustration.  He felt angry towards me because to him I was the cause of it all. I kept quiet about it after series of explanations, but since he refused to listen, I stopped talking. This continued for 7 months, I will cook and he will eat. It sounds funny right? Why eat from a woman whom you are not in speaking terms with?  That made me knew, it wasn’t that serious then. And at last, he got tired of playing the game and resolved it all. I bet I won after all.

Lesson to be learnt, maintain your ground if you are right. Do not fall or waver because the opponent is winning, you may win at the end. Keeping of malice is not that bad, but it paints a bigger picture of the true victim