Raising kids is one of the biggest challenge that any person has to face in life. It is a big responsibility that needs full devotion, dedication, time and energy.
Present day parents can easily agree to the point that kids these days are not at all easy to handle as compared to those of the past. Nuclear family with a single or maximum of 2 children is the prime reason for this. Each and every child is given full and complete attention and every single demand gets fulfilled. This is making the children bossy, cranky and disobedient. It gets very late when the parents realize what have their kids turned into.
Managing such kids who tend to do only what they want and pay no attention to what others say are really a difficult mass. There parents face a tough time when it comes to making the kids follow the needed. This ends up in parents shouting and yelling at the kids most of the time. But is shouting at kids justified? Have you ever figured out what damage can it cause to your kid both mentally as well as physically.
According to research Shouting instead of educating causes significant changes in the child’s behavior. Children who are shouted at more learn to show their anger and aggression towards things. They develop low self esteem and tend to proceed towards depression.
It can cause harmful effects equivalent to physical punishment. Your child will always learn from you. So if you cannot control your emotions how can you expect your kid to do so. He will also freely express his worst and strong feelings irrespective of the surroundings. He will not refrain from exhibiting tantrums publically, if things don’t work according to his will.
I can understand that parents face tough time managing the house and the kids and anger can come out as a reflex. But it can also be controlled. It is a step that should be taken for betterment of the child.
When you feel that you are losing control try to leave the kid alone for some time. This will allow you to compose yourself as well as it will also give time and opportunity to the
kid to understand that he did something wrong.
Learn to forgive your child and take lessons from your mistakes. Every parent does something wrong while parenting and to learn from mistakes will always help to improve.
Your child’s upbringing depends a lot on your relationship with them. Develop a healthy relationship based on mutual love and understanding. It is not important to be cruel.
My personal experience also says that anything that is explained to the child with a calm and composed tone will always bring the desired result. If you continue to shout and yell then sooner or later your child will stop giving value to your words and will end up becoming a disobedient and spoiled brat.
Self control is really very important when dealing with kids.Always remember that you are handling a pure soul that will be carved in accordance with your actions and words.
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Parents should know about this; especially young parents who do not know what shouting at their children can do to them. Thanks for giving this information; that it affects them emotionally even in their adult lives.
They should really be patient in explaining to their children what they wanted them to do, or for them to behave; it can be done in a nice way.
Very true. We didn't ever shout at our daughter when she was a kid. Instead , we talk to her in a soft voice about what we would like to correct on her.
We cajole her into following our advise.
For example when we are at the mall and she wants a new dress or toy we will tell her we don't have that in our budget. But we can just buy one on my payday.
Thus. she won't insist anymore. From then on, when she wants something at the mall , she would ask "Do you have money, mother. I like that one but if you don't have the money, we will buy it next time when you have your payday again" .
She grew up to be a smart and thrifty girl. :)
A issue which many parents are trying to find out how to cope with this issue. From my experience I have observed is that children are very intelligent and they are able to make out clearly what can get the work done for them. They understand things whom they can trouble and make them run around and who they cannot fool around with. The best answer is one should not shout at them but at the same time be stern in their tone children understand the tone better. Later once they fall in life they also have to be counselled what they are supposed and what is expected of them and why.
If they feel convinced that the rational being put before them by their parents is logical they will most probably understand what is being told and fall in line. It should be a nice mix of different tactics which will make them understand things and most importantly if they feel it is for their good and are convinced they will fall in line and understand. Thanks for raising an important issue which many parents are struggling to figure out and many are confused.
Well, where I come from shouting is the order of the day, but in the end it hardly yields result. Going by this article, it's like beating a child constantly to change the child, but its the reverse, the child gets used to the beating. I have learnt to control my anger these days, because shouting just gets it done at the moment, but not permanently.
Kids hated to be shouted at, they find mom annoying, nagging and bothersome.
Ends up not listening and lots of argument follows.
I believe it's not an easy thing to raise a child but yelling and shouting all the time, it won't help too much. I think it's better to try and explain things to a child than to yell all the time and stress kids out. But sometimes when it gets overwhelming I think you almost can't help but shout at kids.