According to my personal opinion I do not see a point in arranged marriage at all. I will choose love marriage undoubtedly.Arranged marriage is hollow nowadays.
My parents also had an arranged marriage,but that time was very different but now, 99.9% of people are wearing masks of pretentiousness, and I am sure my family can never know what kind of person someone is.He might be nice man from outside, but how he behaves with me alone. Can not be judged by my family which is why I can not even think of having an arranged alliance.
For me love marriage is always better than arranged one, but a love marriage with a long running affair, and not an affair of just a week and then marriage no.
That is not love. Love happens when you know you can even die for this person,when your relationship reaches to that intensity and passion, only then you can get married, and for me, I can not die for a stranger in an arranged marriage.
In love marriage,I know the person anf his habits, his behavior, and his likes dislikes,so there will be no shocks and surprises for me later on. I know he does not like waking up early in the morning, I know he hates typical Indian food loves continental food, and I know he loves to listen to my stories and I love getting his opinion on the books I am writing and these little things are the ones which I love him, because these are the common things in us.
In arranged marriage there is a high uncertainty that I might have something in common with other person, because maybe we are not compatible at all? How can we spend your life with someone with whom you have nothing in common at all?
In love marriage, you get married because you love him. And now question is can you get married to a person you barely know? In my view An arranged alliance can be as long as one year, but it can never even come close to a love affair of 5 to7 years.
I do not think any girl can have even 10% of it in an arranged marriage, even in one year. How can you fall in love with someone who is found by your parents? It is not about just a day,it is about whole life.
The most important factor is past.I am modern girl with a very modern approach towards life,there is still one thing that haunts me and that is having a partner who lies to me about a really graphic past.I can not tolerate lies, and I can not trust anyone easily, it is my peeve. In arranged marriage, I know that I will never be able to trust my husband if I have not seen his life myself.
I will never believe him because he is a stranger for me.we have learnt many things together.
Apart from all these reasons, I really believe a serious relationship and a sensible love marriage,Sensible because I am not talking about marriages that happen after few days of affair or love at first sight sensible in sense that you have grown up together and seen world together,and spent a significant amount of time together, and been through difficulties and rose up are much stronger than an arranged marriage.
I think An arranged marriage looks really amazing from outside for the first 2-5 years because that is the excitement phase going on, but after 5 to 10 or 15 years, when the that excitement phase is over, when the life stabilizes, when the career becomes a priority, and when fight arguments happen,only then strength of the marriage is put to test.
While in long affairs,strength has already been tested.
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I believe that arranged marriages were or are for many purposes. One primary purpose is that the parents who love their children, especially their daughters, don't want them to tied to a cruel mate for the rest of their life. I find it hard to believe that in societies where marriages are arranged that the parent do not have their child's best interests at heart. That being said, I agree with you, marriage should be wholly based on a love relationship. That's the foundation necessary to build a happy home. Without it you just have two people who live together and sadly they pass each day of their life away, desperately longing to be loved. It's a very miserable way to live.
even in the Jewish reglion there was arranged marriages but one of the reason was some time the parnets want to make sure their kids would be alone. I think this one main reason it all so had to some thing with the reglion to. If you ever watch a movie call fiddler on the Roof there a
song call match maker make me match you can find clips of this movie on you tube. It a very old movie and broadway play.