How to Date Men Without Compromising On Your Values.

So many people feel they have to compromise to find love, but it is not the case. For a long-lasting, healthy relationship, you cannot compromise the core of who you are. You are a proud feminist and you should never be ashamed of that. In fact, contrary to your past experiences, there are lot of men who are proud feminists themselves.

The general rule of thumb about finding love involves finding common interests. As a feminist, there are various ways to find out if you share any common viewpoints. The news is packed with various issues; they can be playfully asked about, and what may seem like a general discussion reveals a lot about their opinions. Religion and politics tend to be a no-go area on first dates, but mentally stimulating conversations are best for all dates. If you are looking for a long-term commitment, shallow conversation tells nothing and do not engage either of you, so you will be bored and easily irritable.

Yet, do you think you are being too harsh? Yes, there are people with misogynistic views, but what if they simply have traditional views which do not negate or contrast to feminism? The true measure is the strictness to which they hold on to those views. Does he care about perception? What does he believe has to be gender roles? Is he able to respect your preferences and needs as an individual? Does he treat men and women you’ve met, such as waiter and waitresses, differently? How does he react to things that ‘challenge’ his masculinity?

Finding that ‘perfect’ partner is hard, harder still when you are very aware of what you want. Whoever you end up with, it should never be by compromise; in the long run, you would both be unhappy and bringing children into it would be worse. Values and principles that matter to you should always be talked about. They cannot wait till it is serious before bringing out the ‘deal-breakers’. So how you would like to raise your children, your opinions on gender roles, and so on, are not something you should ever feel like you need to hide to be with someone, you just have to be patient to find the person whose core views, match closely to yours. I do hope it all works out for you.