When I was at college I had one of those part time jobs on campus. I don’t know if it happens where you are, but there were a lot of little jobs over the vacations and one would make some money to help them through the semester.
I got a job in the office. My job was to get the applications for positions and send the form letter to the persons listed as ‘recommendation’. Applicants weren’t to present the letters, we would contact the persons they claimed would recommend them, and receive the responses.
When the responses arrived, we would pull the file, put them on the file and put the file on the desk of our seniors.
Now you probably wonder why I am going into such detail. This is because I used to read the stuff. I wasn’t supposed to, but I did. I’d read who the applicant named as their recommender; some had big politicians or educators, big business people. Others, no one I ever heard of.
When the letters arrived I read them, to see what was said about the applicant.
I’ll never forget one letter.
The applicant had named a well known person and I was anxious to see what he had to say. Can you imagine my face when I read the negative slap down that was given?
Here was this guy, (I’ll call him John Chance) who has applied for a post in the Sociology Department and given the name of “Dr. Big Shot” (not his name, of course) for his recommendation. And Dr. Big Shot writes the worst things about John Chance and states, categorically, that he was ‘not fit for the position’.
I was like, catatonic, and took a break and went outside to think.
How could John Chance have used Dr. Big Shot as his ‘recommender?’ Did he call him first, and ask, “Listen, I need someone to write a reference for me, will you do it?” And did Dr. Big Shot say, “Sure,”?
Or did John Chance not advise Dr. Big Shot?
Or did Dr. Big Shot agree to write the recommendation, and turned around and plunged the knife into his back?
It creeped me out.
If someone had listed me without asking, and I couldn’t recommend the person, I’d probably say; “I do not know this person in his professional capacity and think that you should advise him to ask someone who has actually worked with him, as I only know him socially.”
If the person called me first, I’d tell him the same thing, so he’d find someone who could recommend him. I couldn’t do this to someone who trusted me. If I was asked in passing; “Hey, we’re thinking about John Chance, do you know him?” and I did know him and didn’t feel he was capable, well, hey, I was asked my honest opinion by a third party. So what I say is confidential and John Chance would never know that I was even spoken to.
But how could John Chance list Dr. Big Shot who closed him down?
Obviously, John Chance was misled. That Dr. Big Shot didn’t have any respect for him, didn’t like him, but never let John Chance know.
If I had been in charge of selection, or had any power, I’d of contacted John Chance and asked him for another sponsor, telling him we had ‘difficulty’ with those he had named.
To me, it was unfair for John Chance to have lost the chance because he’d been betrayed by someone he trusted.
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Maybe he just wrote the name of Mr. Big Shot, because he thinks you will not verify if indeed he is recommending the applicant.
That is why, when we are applying, we should see to it that we put a reference who knows you well because you were once in his employment. Besides, see to it that you have a good track of work records so the recommender will also give good reviews.
Never just write a big shot, when the big shot doesn't even know that you have written his name for reference. It's discourteous to do that.
No, John Chance knew we would contact those he put in as references... I am sure he believed Mr. Big Shot would recommend him. We should check first... before we name anyone.
If you are a grown up, you have your own mind to make good decisions but most of us would rather go with what we are told. The thing is if the guy asked for a recommendation from the other guy, it's obvious that he asked him if he would use him as his recommenderecommender, why then would someone write you such a bad recommendation letter? If you knew that the person was not qualified you should have told them from the beginning. But tarnishing the name of the candidate is not a good thing. That's why it's always good to ask questions before you get favors from people or even close friends .
There are times when we come across people who will be an influence of negative behavior and if we are not careful, we will probably be misled. You are responsible for your own actions, so when you involve yourself around negativity, then most likely,you will become negative. It important for us to determine that you should not blame others for your actions.
Being misled is tricky. In some sense, you can be misled by being lied to. That is one reason why a person can be misled. It is wrong for someone to lie for personal gain. If you are a strong willed person with any kind of intelligence, you will not allow anyone or anything to become a negative influence. You should always push for positive influences. A person can also mislead themselves, another person does not have to be the one to mislead you.