How do you keep your marriage strong and loving

HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR MARRIAGE STRONG AND LOVING

This is the continuation of my article entitled “When does the loving stops?”

For me these are the phases of a relationship:

1. Courtship – Love starts to build up;
2. Boyfriend – Girlfriend Phase – Love is heating up;
3. Engagement – The ember of love is glowing; and
4. Marriage – The longest Phase of a relationship

In marriage, there are also stages to encounter:

1. Freedom of being a couple (before having children);
2. Life as a family (after having children);
3. Keeping the ember glow;
4. Proving your self-worth, for both partners; and
5. Thankful for surviving.

FREEDOM OF BEING A COUPLE

You are still giddy with the new found togetherness. You want to spend each day together, if possible. Eat out and travel to places with your other half. Dream of dreams most married couples do.

Acquire things for your temporary abode for a merrier and happy surroundings.

Plan for your lifelong of blissful togetherness. How many children you will have? Where will you make your roots?

LIFE AS A FAMILY

Finally, after eating out to all the restaurants and travelling to places you want to visit, comes the kids.

Your life now changes. Sleepless nights of taking care of your newborn. Buying less for the usual groceries, replacing it with things for the baby. You now have to learn the Basic Baby 101.

But this is rewarded with the smile, the sound, the laughter that your baby makes. Just the sight of those cute eyes, chubby arms and legs, makes you proud of being a parents.

KEEPING THE EMBER GLOW

With the coming of the baby, sometimes you take for granted the things that made you happy before the coming of this adorable creature.

To keep that ember glow, you have to inject a little ‘couple time’ in your life. Invent things or situations that you think will make your partner see how lucky you have each other. It is an effort worthy of your partner’s love.

PROVING YOUR SELF-WORTH

Sometimes this is where the relationship goes astray. Each partner may feel that their self-worth had diminish a little.

The lady partner may feel that she is getting fatter and not getting any younger. She may resort to attention seeking ways. Not necessarily seeking the attention of the opposite sex, but beautifying oneself, buying things that may boost her ego.

The male partner, on the other hand, also felt that his macho image had lessen. Maybe due to thinning hair or bigger belly. I think, men, sometimes, are vainer than women.

Men, sometimes, resort to seeking attention from other women, besides his wife just to prove that he still is the macho man he once has been.

THANKFUL FOR SURVIVING

After all that has been said and done, congratulate yourselves if you have survived this phase. It is not a mean feat to undergo a marriage, whether it was a good or a bad one.

Lucky is a wife that has a husband that loves her so much despite the change in her appearance from the time they met. Lucky also is a husband who has a wife that loves him unconditionally, despite his shortcomings.

A couple is united for a reason. What God has united, let no one separate.