HOLDING ON TO OLD RELATIONSHIPS IS A LOVE- KILLER POINT IN MARRIAGE 2

There are problems generated by the persons who are in the centre of the dual affairs.
1. There is no concentration on family welfare and business: Many couples involved in this act always lose concentration in their family development. This is because the husband or wife keeps more attention outside the legitimate family.
2. The welfare of the partners is rippled and family businesses are hampered. The story below exposes this;
“Joy and Bennett met as fellow students at a Teachers’ Training College in 1974.They were intimate friends. They used their finances together, but Bennett’s contribution was higher than Joy’s. The elder brother of Bennett just came back from the overseas as graduate Priest of the Anglican Church.Benneth’s elder brother supplied virtually all finances and logistics needed by Bennett at the Teacher’s Training College. Joy held to their relationship with strong tenacity because there was a free flow of their requirements. At their graduation, Bennett asked for Joy’s hand in marriage, but Joy declined because teachers were not well paid then. Joy decided to marry another man not a teacher like herself who can stand in for her family when her employers start to delay her salaries. This Bennett cannot do if they become husband and wife in the same teaching profession.
Joy and Jonah met at a social gathering 1977.Then, Jonah was an employee of a foreign firm in Nigeria. The two love birds got married in 1978.Within five years God blessed the family with two children named-Reward a male and Regina a female. Jonah was rapidly promoted and on that fifth year the company where he worked sent him to the United States of America for further studies. Joy was in Nigeria teaching in a Primary school living with Reward and Regina. After one year studies with pay in Nigeria and study allowances abroad, the company kept Jonah to work for another one year so that he will get more experiences before returning to Nigeria. Within the three years of absence, Jonah sent money monthly to Joy to build their family house and establish a supermarket. Joy told Bennett about her family progresses immediately he was transferred into the same Primary School where she was teaching. Joy was approached by Mr. Bennett, her old college friend and now her fellow male teacher in the same school .The two friends held secret love affairs as they did when they were in the college. The male teacher was informed by Joy that her husband sends money to her from abroad every month.Mr.Benneth decided to subtly rob Joy and her husband by telling Joy to give him money from time to time. He maintained that if Joy refused, he will stop the friendship and care he renders to Joy and her children. Joy was in a fix. The family project was started but was moving on snail’s rate. Within the three years of Jonah’s absence, Joy had three abortions. The last one ruptured her uterus badly. Meanwhile; Mr. Bennett built his own house very quickly. At the return of Jonah on the beginning of the fourth year, Mr. Bennett has entered into his new house. Joy welcomed Jonah with mixed feelings because the family project was nothing to write home about. The children are now used to Mr. Bennett rather than their father Jonah. When Jonah saw the extent of his family house project, he asked Joy to give him an account of all the money he was sending to her. Joy busted into tears. It was later that neighbours of Joy told Jonah all they know about the relationship of Joy and Mr. Bennett. Till date Joy and Jonah are in secret hatred against themselves.
Time of family consolidation was wasted. Wastages of recourses abound in illegitimate relationships. Keeping old friendship breeds hatred in the original relationship. The end of the illegitimate relationship is often regrettable. Married persons should keep away from old ties. They should know that marriage can only have a healthy practice with one man and one wife. One of the flaws of keeping old relationships is that it keeps the new family backward. Children born to the family often take sides with one of their parents especially the one that accommodates them in their welfare such as paying their school fees, clothing and feeding them. Go and look into a family where children hate any of their parents at old age, one of the reasons are that the hated parent abandoned the family during their formative years to a strange man or a strange woman. Married couple is warned not to sell their family secrets to other people who will envy their progress.