Hearing A Child Is Good 2

The lower lefthand quadrant of the chart has to do with your Values. Now at first we

think of moral values, and certainly that’s a component addressed by the questions in

that quadrant. However, there are also work values that play a key role.

Here is a list of some key work values. Again you may find it helpful to circle the ones

that you value most in the workplace:

sense of achievement advancement adventure aesthetics

position of authority autonomy balance compensation

competition creativity detail work efficiency

fast pace flexibility helping others integrity

intellectual stimulation leadership leisure time location

management moral fulfilment personal growth prestige

public attention recognition research responsibility

routine security social contacts team

After circling some of the above words, you might even have more to add to the lower

lefthand quadrant on the chart.

Finally, the lower right hand quadrant has to do with Destiny. Certainly the most

nebulous of them all, this quadrant addresses the fact that truly successful people have

a sense that they are “doing what they were made to do.” The questions in the chart

will guide you to some words you can use to fill in the blanks.

Please . . . take a moment now to complete the chart on the following page before

continuing in this chapter.

As you can see from the chart, the highest level of internal motivation occurs when an

individual’s Passion, Talent, Values, and Sense of Destiny converge in one activity!

After completing the chart, look for common activities in all four quadrants, and you will

begin to find those clues that will lead you to discover what the child wants to do.

These commonalities can be used to guide you as you “job sculpt” in order to make

your endeavors fit the internal child in every-increasing ways.

However, there is a broader issue at play as a sub-text of the chart. The entire chart is

based on having acquired a self knowledge. And that self knowledge can only be

acquired through an often painful process of trial and error fraught with many

opportunities for failures. This capacity to take the risks necessary to gain self

knowledge will be found in all those people with a healthy inner drive. Giving the

internal child permission to fail is crucial to the successful completion of that process.

That last thought takes me back to watching my four children learn how to walk. It was

quite a predictable process. They would begin by pulling themselves up in their crib.

Then they would “scoot” wherever they went. Eventually, they would pull themselves up

on their favorite chair and then begin a process I referred to as “cruising.” They would

move around the outside of rooms from piece of furniture to piece of furniture not letting

go of one before they had grasped the next in the series. Finally, one day they decided

to take one of the biggest risks of their short lives. They let go of the piece of furniture

without the support of another piece. They stood their and wobbled — working

themselves up to taking that first step.

Watching them take that first step brought yet another observation to the forefront. The

first step was always down! They would step, teeter and fall. At that very moment my

response to them became crucial. If I pointed, laughed and ridiculed or became angry

with that first attempt, my children very likely would have grown up on the floor. Fearful

of incurring my scorn or anger, they would have ceased doing what they needed to do

in order to walk (i.e. falling down).

That process we learned first in walking is repeated over and over again throughout our

lives as we try something and fail only to try something else and succeed. Self

knowledge occurs no other way. The ability to accurately complete the form in this

chapter only comes through many falling down experiences that showed us what wasn’t

our passion, talent, value or destiny.

So if you find it difficult to complete the form, ask yourself the following questions. “Out

of ten decisions that your internal child will make how many will be good ones?” “Out of

ten projects that your internal child undertakes to do how many will s/he successfully

complete?” If you answered “ten” or even “nine” or “eight” to either of those questions,

you are in all probability expecting too much from that little child. Fearful of not living

up to the internal parent’s expectations, the child plays it too safe not taking the

necessary risks to learn more about its passion, talent, values, and destiny. I wish that

there was another way of getting there, and I will certainly keep looking for one.

However, if there is a safer way, it has alluded every client I’ve every seen and me too.