When something happens, really happens, and you go through it and come out on the other end, there may be a moment when the abuser is brought to admission.
When something happens, really happens, there can be closure when the abuser admits or explains.
Jimmy always claimed his mother ‘abandoned him’ . Then, he learns she was in prison.
Shirley had an abusive husband, now learns he had a brain tumor.
These admissions change the understanding of the event, and the victim can move on.
In cases where the abuser goes to prison and then shows contrition, it is not that the cell door opens, it is that the victim has a sense of validation.
In cases of False Memory, there is no closure. That is because the event never happened. That is because the victim, often with the ‘assistance’ of a psycho-therapist is given a ‘reason’ which seems to work, but doesn’t.
For example, Jasmine had a good relationship with her brother. Then, after psycho-therapy, she ‘remembered’ how he used to beat her up and sexually assaulted her.
This never happened.
He once slapped her, but he didn’t sexually assault her.
When she first accused him, he defended himself. He listed all the things he didn’t do, couldn’t have done, and reminded her that she used to visit him and his wife every week. She used to call him up, send him birthday cards, gifts, and it wasn’t until she had her psycho-therapy that she came up with this abuse, which, at the time, occurred, fifteen years before.
The relationship ended. Then, after thirty years of silence, Jasmine’s brother tried to make a rapprochement. He thought if he ‘agreed’ to everything she accused him of, and apologised, the relationship could somehow be re-instituted.
Jasmine listed everything he had done, and her brother said he was sorry.
Jasmine decided she didn’t want anything to do with him, and reverted to the same position that had existed before his attempt.
This is because Jasmine never was abused by her brother. And his ‘verification’ did not have any effect. She stayed a miserable woman in her sixties who had ‘been abused’ when she was a teenager.
If you meet Jasmine, within a few sentences, she will discuss her ‘abuse’ that never happened. She can not live past it, because it Never Happened.
This is one of the flags of False Memory.
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That's a sad story for a woman to bear. Perhaps she just wanted to leave the past behind.But then, the abusive person had got away from such crime.Some people have the courage to be in silence and never think of closure.It could also be the result of being abused for a long time and there is no chance to ask for help.For the healing process, they had healed themselves with the help of a specialist.The concealment of truth can be the result of shame due to culture and can outcast them in the society. It is commonly the case in some countries. Most of these countries isolated and treated women as slaves.This fact cannot be kept in secret for a long time.
There was no abuse. Jasmine's psycho-therapist put those false memories in her mind. That is why even if her brother agreed/apologised there would be no closure. It is like you accusing me of kicking your dog after a psychologist tells you that the reason you feel so upset is because I kicked your dog.
But it's impossible, and although you might repeat the accusation, deep down you know it isn't true. That is the same with Jasmine.
I believe we have a "memory vault" where the things that happen to us, and that contribute to who we are, are placed. Bad memories can get buried in self defense. Sadly they pop up when a person is triggered by new memories in their lives. We should use them as a teaching tool and then put them back. I don't think you can clear the memory vault. I wish you could, but good or bad it is part of who you are.