In many parts of the world, women have learned that they can never trust a man. Whether it is part of a culture where a man has more than one wife or where adultery is ‘normal’, women make alliances with other women; and none so strong as with their mothers.
Men, especially those in parts of the world where polygamy is not standard, and adultery is frowned upon, do not begin to imagine the undercurrents. They meet a woman, they get involved, and have absolutely no idea that her mother knows more about him, then he knows about himself.
There are women who can use men as if they are tampax. All their lives they have known that men can not be trusted, and that getting as much as possible from a man before the relationship hits the expiry date is how the game is played.
It is easy to link these women to the term ‘gold digger’ because they always exit a relationship with far more than they brought in; often a house they didn’t pay for, a car they didn’t buy. But this goes further than simple monetary value. This goes to the basic destruction of all alliances that man had with his own family.
This is necessary because it is likely an outsider might see what he can not.
There are people who can ‘read’ others. They can look into her eyes when she looks at him and see there is no love. There are people who are not willing to follow her false trails and ask the hard questions, and if they are allowed to influence him, certain actions would not occur.
For example, when Jake married Dena he lived in a house owned by his Grandmother. She intended to leave the house to him and his brother, Paul.
Dena, slowly and carefully, got Jake to buy the house from the Grandmother in the name of himself and Dena.
Had he not done so, the house would go to him and Paul, and Dena’s name would not be on the Title. And if Paul didn’t want to sell, or if he and Jake sold it, there would only be 50% of the value.
By getting Jake to buy the house, get her name on the title so that when the marriage ended, she got 50% of the house automatically.
When Eric married Lisa she was very alert to his family. He was close to his brother, so she had to drive a wedge. She took her time, made various incidents which she could avoid being connected to.
Eric’s mother was bright so she had to get rid of her. This was not as hard as one imagines.
Lisa would, when her mother visited, roll out the red carpet, and have her included in everything.
When Eric’s mother visited, Lisa made sure she and Eric were busy at work so that his mother would be ‘home alone’ and given no key, and treated as a wart.
Eric did not notice, his mother did, and kept waiting for the moment he would want to spend time with her, involve her.
This never happened, so Eric’s mother departed in thoroughly bad humour.
When Lisa was ready to end the relationship there was no one on Eric’s side. She had an army of her relatives and her friends so Eric wound up with far less than he would have.
In many cases the Mother/Daughter alliance creates that self fulfilling prophesy. As the daughter enters a relationship in the expectation that it will not last, it doesn’t. Acting in the belief that it will not last, the daughter puts her mother first. This upsets the husband and leads to the collapse of the relationship.
The husband can say; “You put your mother first.” The wife can say, “It was good that I did.”
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Wow well written truth be told mums and daughters share very many secrets together yet no one else would know. I am a woman but the truth is I don't like it when some women join alliances with their mother's to ruin the relationship between them and their spouse's. I think that's wrong and it should not be encouraged by anyone.
For me i believe that when you choose to love someone, get into that relationship with the intention of growing both of you and not your mother of father. Remember that it is about the two of you, make that your business. Many people get into marriages for th3 some purpose of enriching themselves bad their families and that's very sad and unfortunate. I even know of someone who got married, to a lovely lady who he thought was his world, he would do all sorts of good things for her take her places, but her gifts and so on and so forth, not knowing that one day he would be damped for reasons he never understood. After doing all this things an being divorced he comes to the realization that he was duped, and that everything that he did and bought all went in the hands of the woman and her mother. He was left empty with nothing to hold onto. It was very unfortunate the last was in cohorts with the mother to dwindle the poor guy and they managed quite easily.
So when women do these things really they need to think about the reasons that took them into that marriage in the first place. So not use someone's feelings to your own advantage it hurts. And for the mother's who encourage their daughter's to do such things should really consider what if that boy who is being duped was their son how would they feel?