Q: What does one penny say to the other penny?
A: Let’s get together and make some cents.
Q: What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and
drives women wild?
A: a $100 bill!
Q: What is Barack Obama’s new slogan in these
tough times?
A: Spare Change You Can Believe In!
If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks
have branches?
Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but
no legs?
A: A penny.
Q: When does it rain money?
A: When there is “change” in the weather.
Q: Two coins add up to 30 cents, and one is not
a nickel. What are they?
A: A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn’t a
nickel.
Q: Why don’t cows have any money?
A: Because farmers milk them dry.
Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks”
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money
Son: “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”
Q: Why did the man think he saw a ghost on
Halloween?
A: A kid dressed up as a 401 (K)
Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with
the nickel?
A: Because it had more cents.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on
the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Q: What did the midget say when I asked him for
a dollar?
A: “Sorry, I’m a little short”
Q: What book do women like the most?
A: “Their husbands checkbook!”
Q: Why is there no gold at the end of the
rainbow?
A: The Leprechan took it and sold it to
Cash4Gold!
Q: Why are guys calling information in Bangkok?
A: To save money on phone sex!
Q: What happens when you give 61 dollars to a
blonde?
A: She wants 8 (ate) more.
Q: How much money does a skunk have?
A: One scent!
Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his
money?
A: I’m paw!
Q: What is the only way to keep your money
from the casinos in Vegas?
A: When you get off the plane walk into the
propellers!
Q: How is the moon like a dollar?
A: They both have 4 quarters.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can�t
budge it.
Q: Why did the girl put two quarters in her ear?
A: To hear 50 Cent
Q: What coin doubles in value when half is
deducted?
A: A half dollar.
Q: What have women and condoms got in
common?
A: If they’re not on your dick they’re in your
wallet.
Q: Why shouldn’t you lend a anthropologist
money?
A: They consider a million years ago to be
Recent.
Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
A: $4.99 a minute.
Q: What do you call an investment that profits off
of shareholder activism?
A: The “Feeling is Mutual Fund”.
Q: Why can’t Lebron James shop at the dollar
store?
A: Because he only has 3 quarters!
Q: Why did the man keep throwing Monopoly
Money at the stripper?
A: Because she kept putting fake tits in his face!
Q: What do stockbrokers say to each other when
they want the other person to shut up?
A: Put a stock in it!
Q: How do you hide money from a hippie?
A: Put it under the soap.
Q: How do you know Nadya Suleman’s (Octo-
Mom) getting pretty desperate for money?
A: Four of her kids are already working for Nike!
Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a
Leprechan?
A: They’re always a little short.
Q: How did Bernie Madoff get the idea for a ponzi
scheme (where you use the money of new
investors to pay off the older investors.)
A: Social Security!
Q: What is Alimony?
A: The screwing you get for the screwing you
got!
Q: If marriage is grand what is divorce?
A: Ten grand!
Q: What do you call a man with a head full of
change?
A: Headquarters.
Q: What has a head and a tail but is not an
animal?
A: A penny.
Q: What do you get when you put THE money
you’ve earned and IRS together?
A: THEIRS!
Q: What did the cent say to the Dollar?
A: You make no cents.
Q: What do you call an Asian who’s good at
stock picking?
A: Cha-Chng
Q: Why is divorce so expensive?
A: Because it’s worth it.
Q: How did the Banker die?
A: He Cashed Out
Q: Where do seagulls invest their money?
A: In the stork market!
Q: What do corn use for money?
A: Corn “Bread.”
Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a
prostitute?
A: A prostitute, because she can always wash
her crack, and sell it again!
Q: Why did Bank Of America want to return all
the government bailout money ASAP?
A: Because they were upset at all the hidden
fees!
Q: What’s the difference between the Chicago
Bears and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar
bill.
Q: Do you know 50 Cent’s half brother’s name?
A: 25 Cent.
Q: What do you find in between the couch?
A: M&M’s and fifty cent
Q: If Bill Gates collapses right in front of you,
what’s the first thing you do?
A: Grab his wallet.
Q: What did the coin say to the token?
A: Dude, that makes no cents.
Q: Where do penguins keep their money?
A: In a snow bank!
Q: Why did the man put his money in the
freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: What has a head, a tail, but no legs?
A: A penny.
Q: Why did the idiot go broke?
A: Because he had no cents.
Q: How did Mitt Romney make hundreds of
millions of dollars?
A: By turning $21 an hour jobs into $9 an hour
jobs
Q: Why do Jewish guys watch porno movies
backwards?
A: They like the part where the hooker gives the
money back
Q: What’s the difference between Former Mayor
of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute gives value for the money she
takes.
Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring
you a more pleasant form of misery.
Q: What do fish use for money?
A: Sand dollars!
Q: Where does a fish keep his money
A: In the River Bank!
Q: What’s the difference between a counterfeit
dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One’s a phony buck.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness,
simply didn’t know where to shop.
When I have money, I have nothing to buy. When
I don’t have money, I want everything.
Money is not the root of all evil, Jealousy is.KENNY BLAQ PERFORMANCE AT AY LIVE 2017
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