I Didn’t Need a Ouija Board

I didn’t need tarot cards, either, to know this marriage was going to crash.  I can give you all the signs, starting from the wedding.

The bride wasn’t glowing.

Every happy bride virtually glows.  She has this smile on her face she can’t drop.  She’s happy.   She’s happy and looking at the gathering, at her Groom, and glowing.

This bride, (I’ll call her Doris) looked like she was at a funeral.  She had this distracted look on her face as if she was worried about not turning off the coffee maker.

I jabbed someone and said, “This is not going to last.”

Every newly married couple gets back from their honeymoon and wants to be surrounded by family.  They want to show photos of their honeymoon, talk about where they stayed, any clever activities and will joke about the mistakes and disappointments.

When a marriage starts bad, the honeymoon is no more significant than a visit to the supermarket.

Happy marriages have the partners fitting their lives into that of each other and each other’s family.  They want to be part of the joint families.

In this marriage there was just her family, his was excluded. Her mother visited was treated like a queen.  Her sister was incorporated into the planning of everything.

The one visit her mother made was as close to extraordinary rendition as one should get.

In happy marriages there are no dark spots.  No unbreakable rules.

In this marriage, the wife needed ‘downtime’ when she came home from work so would be in the tub for 1 hour alone save for a bottle of wine.

In real marriages the partners don’t have to get permission to do anything.

One can say;  “I’ve been invited to visit a school friend and figure I’ll leave Thursday, be back Monday.”

If there is a problem or a question, it is stated or asked; and it has nothing to do with the marriage, but with transportation or dates.

In failing marriages it becomes a ‘Me vs You’ situation so that going or not going is a gauntlet.

So when the couple split I was not at all surprised, and fortunately, the person I jabbed recalled and said, “You were right!”