Picture Credit: https://pixabay.com/en/baby-child-girl-pouting-215867/
On the day your child is born, your world turns upside down and inside out forever. You will no longer be the center of your own world and be able to be quite as spontaneous as a childless adult. But when you set eyes upon your child’s scrunched up face, nothing else matters. If only they came with an instruction booklet to look up how to deal with their meltdowns.
All children go through stages where they test their boundaries and assert their independence. I am sure most parents have experienced this type of behavior and it can be frustrating. But imagine if you take the random tantrum of an average child and multiply it by 100%, then you will have a glimmer of what my daughter’s are like. However, I don’t call them tantrums, I refer to them as meltdowns.
My daughter suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD, generalized anxiety disorder, moderate clinical depression, and Oppositional Defiance Disorder or ODD. One disorder on its own is bad enough, but combine it with others and you have a recipe for disaster. It isn’t all bad though, but the bad times often seem to overshadow the good times.
Everything is a struggle with my daughter, getting up in the morning, getting ready for school, doing homework, and doing chores. These confrontations end with her screaming, crying, stomping her feet, and throwing whatever she could get her hands on. The worst part is not knowing what will be the catalyst for these meltdowns, so it is much like trying to walk through a minefield hoping not to get blown to bits.
Through trial and error over the ensuing years, I have found a couple of methods to use when dealing with these situations. Although my methods don’t necessarily work all of the time, they work more often than not and I will tweak them accordingly if needed.
In this post, I will discuss one of my methods in controlling the frequency of meltdowns which is creating a set schedule that helps my daughter establish routines during her day. This is probably a no brainer since all children need a schedule, but those with ADD need the stability even more, thus making daily activities predictable for them. Nothing can throw a wrench in the works like something unexpected popping up.
I first created a list of everything that needed to be done in the mornings before school such as getting dressed, brushing teeth, brushing hair, eating, and etc. I put everything in a certain order and kept repeating to her every day the steps she needed to take to prepare herself for school.
I followed the same method for what needed to be done at home after school. If she had homework, she would begin working on it while I fixed dinner and would continue afterward until it was finished if she had not completed it before. I had worked with different approaches such as letting her play before doing homework to give her a break, but that did not work. So I settled on getting homework done immediately.
For her bedtime routine, I established a time that would allow for the maximum amount of sleep, since the proper rest is important for her. Then I set about getting her ready 30 minutes ahead of time, to allow us a chance to read a book to her and snuggle before turning in for the night.
Change is a difficult thing for my daughter, so I make sure that I discuss it with my daughter to help her mentally prepare for it which helps to prevent a meltdown from rearing its ugly head. However, nothing is foolproof and meltdowns will happen.
Do you have a set schedule for your child? Do you find it easy to maintain one? Please share your strategies with everyone here.
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It sounds like you've found a system that works well for you. Trust me, they do eventually get better! I never believed it when people told me that about my son, but he is so much better now. It takes years sometimes, but it comes.