I have always wondered why some people are so kind. The fact is that a lot of people suffer from what is now called ‘the nice guy’ syndrome. It is good to be nice to people but kindness can turn to annoyance if you are too kind to somebody. If you are always helping others this might as well mean that you may have a problem that is far worse to treat than the problem of the person whom you are helping.
Most people fail to understand that their actions are a direct result of their subconscious mind. People act nice to one another, some people are extremely nice to their partner and then they find out that their partner has cheated on them. This is because people who act nice always expect something in return and if that something is not received by them frustration grows, it grows extremely slow.. but it never stops from growing. This fact alone has serious consequences for the mental health of the person who suffers from ‘the nice guy’ syndrome.
We must always be aware of one key element – our motivation to do certain things. Some of us are motivated because of financial reasons while some of us are motivated due to emotional reasons. The fact is that we fail to understand that our emotions rule our lives and they are able to ruin our lives as well.
The best way to make yourself a happy person is by reading and I would encourage you to discover your true self by reading as many books as you can. If you do so you will increase your chance of being happy in the real sense of the world. Be aware of false happiness as it can lead to delusion and emotional disaster. All in all, you can never be happy if you are always making other people happy, such a mistake will have serious consequences for your emotional life.
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I totally agree with your sentiments. It's obvious that you can never please everyone no matter how hard you try. There are people in our lives who can never apprciate what someone does for them. No matter how hard you try to do good that will always have something negative to say. So I always say just be yourself, don't be too nice neither too bad. It's not wrong to tell someone no or say something that may just hurt them but in honesty it's the actual truth. Being too nice is very dangerous and see this in people who are insecure because they feel that need to be nice in order to receive recognition which is very wrong. That's why when such people are noticed they are always taken advantage of, to them that feel obliged but to the others they see oportunity. Being too nice can also get you broke, why you tend to forget about you and all you want is to try and make someone happy one thing you don't realize is that you are making yourself unhappy and frustrated. And just like you have said above when all is said and done you become a victim and that's when frustrations and regrets set in. There is no o a perfect in this world we all have our faults and life cannot always be full of good people. Make you happy first then others follow.
There are two kinds of peoples living on earth, those praise others and those are praised it is my solid opinion those praise others try to make happy others due to inferiority complex and those who are praised are lucky by the stroke of luck. I think foolish are those who try to make happy with sexuality but the best way to make happy is to improve his conscious level with education and experience and the best friend of any human on earth is his own being the real source of joy on earth. JH Sayyar
For me doing kindness is not a form of showing up that you do care, that you are nice to anyone especially to your wife. It is a mutual thing to do in which the other person concerned would do the same. Kindness always starts at home. Our parents, our ancestors are always giving us the counsel that we should be kind to one another so that we could be of good terms and we could nurture of relationship into a permanent and ever lasting one.
Kindness is done in a positive way. When it is not being reciprocated as you have said it in the form of cheating, it is something wrong. No one then is not satisfied and he doesn't really feel the real meaning of what kindness is. This is the reason why that everyone should be doing his part and it could done, again as you mentioned through motivation. By setting a good example, everyone would be following you. Lastly, pardon me to disagree with you that reading could improve the character of a person. It is by doing that makes a great change on one's character and not by reading.
This has to be viewed from another angle. What makes you to keep a person happy? Are you doing it for your own happiness or doing it as a token of sympathy and hobby. In the former case there is likelihood of expecting something in return. That means if that 'Return' is not derived as per the expected level then starts your own peril starting wit frustration. In the latter case it does not carry any weight. This may be called in better terms 'Nice guy's syndrome'.
Most of the people fall into the former case only. But there are other ways also to make oneself happy, not necessarily by keeping others happy.
First search the ways out that keep you happy. The list gone in a long way. Choose that is appropriate and suitable for you.
These thoughts were running in my mind when I was thinking of a niece that we have in our family. By hook or by crook she will grab opportunities to help others rendering those who are better than her useless. I fully agree with whatever you have explained in this post.
nice
hi nece writing thought
Those who are ever ready to help others are lucky in the Kingdom of God and they all will be awarded by God in Paradise. Helping others' nature is one of the best traits of anyone. the darkest side of any man's mature is to make happy the partner with sexuality. Those who do so waste their life force in lustful pleasures.
Always help the needy free of reward because goodness reward is in the hands of God think what can the poor give you in return against goodness? Those who happy others on earth God makes them on earth and in heaven.