I went to a boarding school, so did my husband. Our first daughter is presently in boarding, while we are yet to decide on what’s best for our son. Children have different personalities, so we believe not all children are the same. Our daughter is independent, she copes well with peers while our son is not in any way independent and needs all the assistant in the world. What do you think is the cause of the problem? Do you think it is mainly based on the gender? Well, I for one do not totally feel so, but rather it is mainly based on the individual.
During my growing up years (formative years) I learnt a lot both from home and in school, more from home, even though I spent more hours in school. I became more and more independent, the school taught me a lot, I grew up fast thinking I had no help. I was a bed wetter, but my school mum took good care of me. I blended well in school, I was friends with everyone, my mum was always with me on resumption despite the distance, stayed with me for two days before heading back home, so there was love all the way. During the holiday, I carried out duties I had learnt in school, my mum had no problem in getting help. I was ever ready to do it all with so much joy.
Very few of my siblings attended day schools, but from what I saw in those that attended day schools, they are lazy, not solely independent, always needing help or assistance to complete chores. The stress of being a day student may not be much, but the after effects speaks for itself in future. When you have to chase your child to almost anything. My son who is yet to be whisked away to a school already has the traits. I practically chase him around to complete chores. He is like a robot to me, if I don’t say it, it doesn’t get done. Now which of these two categories of school should such a child be sent to? Most will say, he can be closely monitored from home, while some feel a boarding school will be the best bet.
Decisions are so hard to make when it comes to children. No one knows how a child will turn out to be in future. Even a child with the best upbringing fails his/her parents, while some with the least of upbringing do not. Wherever you send your child to lies solely on the individual child, he/she determines and shapes his/her own life. No one, not even the parents can do it for that child. I do not want to praise myself, but I had the best, went to good schools, was trained by a disciplinarian, I was considered a brat, but I proved them all wrong and turned out to be a good mother, daughter and wife. I have never failed my parents, husband and kids despite my having it all.
Constant talks with a child will help improve that child, show them love and affection. Although they become withdrawn most times, but its just a phase. I was mostly absent minded while in junior school, but all that is history. The signs are always there for a child who behaves funny, do not let things slip away, but rather watch out and seek help. A problem shared is a problem solved.
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of course it depends on the genes of not yours but maybe the extended family, on the teachers in that school, oh his friends and so on, but day school has also its advantages, some feel like staying with parents is good to take good decision for maybe later in the future, maybe your daughter can take good decision but still life is big school and your being there is key to many good life choices, so maybe your son will be handling future better than your daughter, he is still learning from life and he might surprise you, boarding school may and may not suits him so help him take the good choice.
It depends on the kind of personality the child is as they are nothing but young adults. If he is a disciplined kind of a child who is willing to learn and do what is expected of him to be done by the teachers then he will fit in the school. But if the sort who is too attached to the parents and the home then maybe sometime may to be given to him to grow and then decide on future course of action. It also depends on what the parents have taught him about being independent and taking ones own decisions.
But I have also observed that boarding schools have their negative traits similar to what may be found with schools which are day schools. Each has its plus and minus. The main point here is only one thing the child should be mature enough to decide and take the decision himself and stick by it. As that would make him responsible to accomplish education at the place where he chose. He will definitely learn to be more independent outside. A nice article, thanks for the share.