Being Honest and Not Played

Jamaica has a high population of ‘Rent-a-Dreads’ and other such characters.   These are men who live off of women.  They ‘sell’ themselves like knitted caps in the market.   They go after every foreign or assumed foreign woman they see.

It is obvious, (to everyone but the victim) that this 30 year old man could not possibly see anything attractive in that 59 year old woman, (except her bank account) that how she falls for his ‘charm’ makes many of us laugh.

But this kind of playing is so obvious that only those who want to be tricked will be tricked.

There is another kind of ‘playing’ which isn’t so obvious.

Sometimes it is a light friendship which is ‘time sensitive’.

Karen met Dave at the Sports Bar.   They laughed a lot and everything was a joke.  Dave liked to go to various places and Karen started to go with him.

Dave would be at this Sports Bar every Thursday, at that restaurant every Tuesday,  always saw a movie on Monday night,  followed a particular team so would always be at their games.  Karen became his companion.

She never noticed that Dave kept everything light.   Never got serious.  That Dave went where Dave was going and she could come or not come.

One Monday she wanted to go to a particular club, he didn’t.  He was going to the cinema.   She didn’t realise that she was just a friend, not a girlfriend.

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She didn’t seem to be aware Dave was engaged to Sara who was finishing her degree abroad.

When Sara was due to return Dave told her.   He didn’t know or care that she was ‘in love’ with him.  He had done nothing to entice her love.

If she had been honest with herself, she would have seen that she was reading too much into the friendship.

Sometimes it is pure using.

Joan was a successful business woman, Frank was an aspirant.  He went after Joan to get the introductions and opportunities.  Joan was no beauty, there was nothing so magnificent about her that she could imagine a young man would run after her for herself.  But she fooled herself.   She thought Frank  loved her.

Once Frank was established he dropped Joan.  She was heart broken.  Had she been more honest with herself she’d realise it was pure business.

One has to be honest with themselves.  If they are beautiful, sure, men will run after them.  If they are rich or powerful, they’ll have a line.  Their looks, their money, their power is what attracted attention.

Once one reaches a certain age, younger men will approach if they have some money or power, and they must be conscious of it.

If Karen or Joan really examined their ‘relationships’  they would not have been played.




  • kaylar

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    • Some interesting things do happen in life In the case of Karen she misunderstood Dave who treated her only as a friend. She should know about that when she observed him taking a light of things. But, blindly followed him. She only assumed that Dave is liking her going a little bit further in understanding friendship.
      In the latter case, Joan was used of. Frank used her with selfishness He looked at her wallet and not her beauty He looked at the power of her money. She thought that the man is running after her just because of her beauty. What a funny and sorry thing One is involving misunderstanding and the other a simple PLAY. One should know that it is not the only man who plays off. But, there are women also who play with men nowadays.
      There are women who play with men and use them just for fulfilling their desires.

      • Yes, definately. People read things into relationships when they are clear to an outsider. It is like you giving a lift to a person who is on your route to work who works at the same or near place...the person could be a 19 year old man, a 60 year old woman... you are doing a favour.. this isn't 'romantic'.

    • You know a man and a woman are two different beings, we both think differently, and we all have our own ways of showing love. So the thing here is people need to communicate their feelings openly and directly don't beat about the bush just say it as it is because there will be misunderstandings and someone will eventually get hurt. It's really not about women misunderstanding themselves, it's really about the men misleading the women. A man can make you feel like he is truly in love with you, he will lead you on and get you so comfortable to the point of you thinking that you are all that he needs, when In actual truth he is only using you for his own selfish gains. This is to the guys if you are going out with a girl it would be prudent enough to state your intentions right from the begining instead of wasting the girls time. And for the ladies please even if this but promised you th3 world do not fret to ask questions that will give you a hint on whether the guy is serious not. Never assume that a guy or a girl lives you be keen in the way they beha a around you and you will get some clues of you are in or out.

      • Too many people either 'read' something into a relationship which is not there, or ignore the facts. There are many people who think you are 'good company' and might invite you to some public function. That doesn't mean they love you or want you. There are many people who see what you have and want it, and befriend you to get it. So you just have to live in the Now.

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