Being a family is like a team work.

If all the time in the family you are results oriented, more likely you will be unhappy. Being a family is like team work: you can not decide everything by yourself, you must combine, to find a consensus, to be able listen to another opinion. It is important to be able to stop and not always do everything as planned, quickly, efficiently. The ability to enjoy the process, not to seek a result, be relaxed, enjoy that you are doing something with another person – it’s very important things for a happy family. That is my opinion, coming from my experience.

In order to find a time for family, first of all person must feel that it is necessary for him, to feel the meaning of family, and to give it priority. We are growing up in a culture where it is meaningful and responsible to work outside the family, to make a career, where child rearing and family sometimes is not so important and may be ignored. So sad. The permanent presence with the kid gives the feeling that you breath together with him, feeling that you are as one.

Another thing – the perception that the close relationship with a partner and with children is a value that is just as important as external achievements, profession, career.

When a connection is not created in very early childhood, it is much more difficult to restore it later. Young children take as much attention from their parents as they permit. Children want the closeness with their parents very much. Now more and more parents complain that can not find a common language with children. Where it comes from? The fact that we very early stop breathing common air with our kids, we stop to feel what is important for them, wherewith they live. It is curious – many people think of how the earliest to give away their children to kindergarten, and then complain that the adolescent child quit talking to them. This is definitely related. It is important to stay with a little child so that he could be full of being with you. A secure connection with adult created in early childhood creates child’s confidence and independence, when the time comes. Replace the faulty schemes of relations is much more difficult than from the beginning to create favorable – but it is possible.

It is important to move the focus from the requirements to the fostering of the true closeness. Often the parents of children, especially teenage parents fills the entire communication with requirements and controlling whether they will be met. The children themselves are already experiencing as independent people and know what they want to do. After all, they taught from an early age to be independent! Finally, kids want it by selves – and then parents begin to control them. All ages person in the heart is always homesick and wants closeness, intimacy, tenderness. Even seemingly angry teenager. People need to learn to show tenderness for each other – it is also a preparation for the family.

We all yearn for tenderness, and usually the family is the place where we can show affection to one another without restrictions. To feel that is a pleasure to be gentle and to get it from another. Therefore we should to pat a head even for teenager, to kiss and hug. It is important to keep in mind that even adolescent wants care, from time to time to become a little one for his parents and if not actually sit down on the knees, at least to be hugged.