Are birthday parties really necessary?

I grew up in a household where birthday parties were the deal. I personally celebrated my birthday till the age of 13 consecutively. My mother had no problem in organizing one big bash for me each year. There was never a dull moment at these events, there was always enough to go round all those invited. My birthday gowns were the best, and I had gifts flowing.

After the last birthday at 13, my father said to my mum, it was now getting too much, and we had to put an end to it. I was never sad about it, but instead lived with all the memories from previous parties. Then came the big 21. I had a birthday party at 21, it was organised by my brother at his place, we had a big get together and that was the last of the birthdays. Henceforth, I have never celebrated or had the thought to do one. Birthdays now became a thing of the past for me. I always did attend parties of people, but never saw the use of me having one myself.

As a mother, my kids have only had significant birthday parties for ages 1 and 10. Those are the only ones they have had for now. I guess at age 18 or 21 by His grace, we shall mark those milestones. A particular friend of mine has always said to me, Joy, celebrate, why don’t you like celebrating your birthdays? And I replied saying, I had so many birthday parties when I was younger, that I just didn’t see the need to have one anymore. I have seen it all. She said hers was different, she never had the opportunity of having birthday parties because her dad died at an early age thereby leaving her young mother to fend for all 7 children. So I could understand her love for birthday parties now, for herself, husband and kids. Funny enough, she’s now into events that cater for such big gigs.

I have come to realize that birthdays must not be celebrated but could be marked with a thanksgiving in church, feeding of the less privileged and so many other stuff.  I have seen over the years that some who celebrate birthdays as in big milestones, do not always live long. Not everybody, like I earlier said. Also, I have noticed that once there’s a huge celebration about to take place, something evil is lurking in the corner waiting to happen. These are the things I have noticed when people do events like birthdays, weddings etc. I am not a believer of people cursing you or wanting to harm you, but I do know evil sure exists.

I am 41yrs, and I say after my 21st birthday celebration, I have never really celebrated any birthday. The big 40 came and nothing was done. Family members and friends, persuaded me, but I rebuffed all. I am a simple person, I do not like attention and birthday makes me nervous. I am scared to know those that will not call to wish me a happy birthday, send texts etc. I usually pray for that day to pass fast so I can move one.

My son is like me, he never wanted a 10th birthday party. We were happy because it saved us loads of money, but my daughter wanted one.  My husband has only celebrated two his whole life, 1 and 10. He is not so much of a celebrant either. I love my life the way it is and I do not get pushed at all by people to change it. It all comes naturally.

Thank you mum for all the wonderful and well celebrated birthdays of my years of existence. Love you to pieces.




  • Tags: #birthdays
    Joy E. Ojo

    View Comments

    • Yeah, we had almost the same birthday experience. Why is it that as we get older, birthdays become something to correspond with irrelevance and lack of importance? I still have trouble wrapping my mind around why it is that people who seemingly have lived a fulling life are so eager to put life into slow motion and anxiously counting down days until the next birthday. The way I see it, birthdays should be celebrated at all ages.

    • No, they are not and i hate that we have to do just like other people, these parties are affordable and you can make it at home from any simple thin yo ucan decorate the home, you can make your own cake andyou can do some bisuit besid it and find street market with lots of gifts, but then what, nothing, its normal day for us and the kids it become routine, for us we dont do that, we plan a day out wiht the kids treat the birthday boy or girl like they are the king or the queen and go eat out, take them to the places that they like and buy later for thema gift that they like and need. and eat sweets, thats we make our birthday for the kids special not like routinely ones, thanks for writing this post its really a good question since many epople just waste lots of money for unnessecary thing, and our kids love it and they are so happy and feel they are more special than other kids who do normal routine parties

    • I guess it is not a must but nice having birthday, it is showing that we care and love your day, so its not a must but good and nice way to express your love and thought

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