Hi UC! i’m not from your school but I’m an avid reader here.. I’m sharing a story for people to know why people like me, who has anxiety, do this and that.. para pud masabtan among side ba.. some people might hate us, pero di mo kajudge, everyone has a story they don’t read out loud. Taas jud sya, but I hope you’ll consider.
I’ve been to 3 relationships, that didn’t end well, yes 3 heartbreaks. it all started when I was in 3rd year highschool, I was an angel back then.. buotan, friendly, hinhinun, not to brag but 1st section ko, and my 1st bf was at the last section, known sa dept nga bugoy, sipat, chicboy.. gisugot nko sya due to peer pressure, experience lage daw, inspiration lage daw. Okay man kaayo ang flow sa amo relationship, effort pajd kaayo sya kay syay mubitbit sa akong mga libro usahay, usahay huwaton ko niyas gate para ihatod sa room, dad-an ug snack, it was almost perfect, so I have learned to love him and I took the relationship seriously. Pero I wasn’t aware that I was slowly changing. I have learned to fight back, dli pud physically ha? pero naa man juy mga tawong judgemental ug libakera ba, ingnun nilag bad influence daw akong uyab sa ako, dli daw mi compatible, nakuha na daw niya akong pagkababaye (which is totally not true), maong yawyawan nko ang libakera to the point nga pakaulawan nko syas daghang taw. Ako jud ipaglaban akong uyab kay I thought we were perfect. Nakakat-on nakog pamakak sa akong parents nga kunuhay naay projects or reporting pero galaag ra diay ko. Bsan akong grades nadamay na, nagkagamay na every grading, nawala na gud kos top ato.
Ff. nag4thr yr ko kami japun, ug wa japun kabalo akong parents, pero iyang mama kabalo, wala syay papa kay broken fam sila. Okay paman japun, he still spoils me pero not the same as before, mga once in a blue moon na. There was 1 night, hubog sya ato, mitex sya nga bored daw sya, “”by, dugay napud btaw ta.””, “”i-try lang gud nato.””, “”trust me.””, I don’t want to say it pero he wanted to take my v. Didto nako nawindang.. I was wrong after all. Abi kog lahi jud sya. Wa nko mireply niya ug gi off nako akong phone. I spent my night realizing all things nga nahitabo ug nausan sa akoa. I cried til I fell asleep. The next day gihuwat ko niya sa gate ug di maihap iyang sorry, he almost kneeled pero ako sya gipugngan ug giingnag kalimtan nalang ang nahitabo. I forgave him.
Ff. after that incident, nafeel nko iyang coldness, usahay nalang ko niya tagdon, mamakak na sya nako, dayun gasunod2 iyang pag inum2. di man ko strict in terms ing-ana, di man gud nko sya but-an kung unsa iyang gusto. I even heard rumors na naa daw syay kauban bayi ddto, dra. blabla. pero wa ko mituo oy. salig japun kos akong uyab kay gugmaan lages ateng.
until one day, gahimo mis iyang project sa ilaa, naa gud pd uban niyang groupmates, ako ray nasaag ddto. Mibiya sya kadjot kay gipapalit sa iyang mama ug snack, ingun yang mama kuyogun ko, pero he said dli na kay init kaayo, so wa nalang pud ko miinsist. Natingala ko nganong lain ang atmosphere adto. close man unta mis iyang mga kauban pero lain jud akong pamati. Then kakita ko nga nabilin niya iyang phone (for once wa pajud ko kahawid sa iyang phone ha, kato jud ang first), so ako gikuha since wa naman pud koy gibuhat, ana pa gani ko sa yang mga kauban “”manghilabot ko ha””, dayun wa sila nanubag. Didto na nako nakit-an tanang katag! Wow as in wow! First message sa inbox “”Happy 8th monthsary love! anhia biya kos amoa love ha?””, mitulo jud akong luha ato, dayun mingduol na dayun sila nako, gicomfort ko nila. I asked kinsa tong bayhana, then miadmit ang isa nga bestfriend to niya from other school. mao diay lain kay akong pamati. nalain kaayo ko perti nakong hagulgul, kanang pugngan ta nimo nga sakit na kays tilaok pugngan pero di jd, mugawas jud syag iya, may gani kay naas kwarto ang iyang mama kay ulaw na kaayo. mihangyo ko sa yang classmate nga pwede ihatod ko pauli. So pag uli nko, permi na syag contact sa ako, ako ra sya gitexsan ug “”buwag nata, pagmalipayon mos imong kabit”” dayun gibali dayun nko akong sim ug giblock sya sa fb. tunong pud tu nga wa nay tarung klase kay summer na. ming graduate ko as 1st honorable mention, pero wa jud sya ato. so na conclude nko nga wala najud.
2nd experience, I was 1st yr college back then. Taas na kaayo if ako pa iingun among whole story. I thought perfect pud sya kay childhood crush jud to nko, pero not so good afterall. He took me for granted. He choose his bestfriend over me. I wish I could tell you the whole story, pero taas na kaayo, it was almost worth a fight, ready na gani ta ko ipa-ilaila syas akong ginikanan. Wala eh.. bestfriend iyang gipili. Dapat unta isa ra ka tawo si bestfriend ug si girlfriend. Ug magbestfriend gani, ayaw ng opposite gender bes! oa kaayo oy. arun lang jud naa moy option if di okay si gf ba.
3rd experience was okay ra at first then ended like nothing happened, nga tinuod jud diay ng sa kanta nga porque: “”Parang bula, ika’y naglaho””. Kalit lang jud syag kawala, ako btaw sya texsan ug tawagan, di pud sya mutubag.. Mga pila pa ka weeks ayha sya gaparamdam saying, wa na daw sya nahigugma nko, he fell out of love, sumo na daw, boring. So I agreed nga i end nalang. We lasted for 5months. Days after, naa na syay uyab lain. Naa diay reserba maong confident.
After everything that happened, after all the experience, no one can blame nganong bitter ko. mi-love raman kog tinuoray, but they took me for granted. Naa koy ma-char2 kay sa char2 raman ko taman, pero wa japuy magdugay.. I like pushing people away, why? kay gusto ko makakitag tawng worth a fight, kanang tawng bsan ikapila nko ireject mu-stick japuns akoa, kay kung love jud ka, buhaton jud niya tanan para nmo dba? if wala, eh di wala, di man pud ko mahadlok ma single forever, I have already enjoyed my own self company, and that’s why lisud najud labwan akong kaugalingon.. I have learned to love myself more man gud, despite the hatred I have from the past.. yes I have trust issues, that’s why usually naa koy moodswings, matingala nalang ka, karun okay kaayo ko, ugma di nko magparamdam, I overthink too much.. I get flowed with my insecurities, and I kept it on myself. Di ko mutug-an say problema kay mahadlok ko nga mao ra japun, wa japuy mahitabo bsan iingun nko ang problema. I push people away, kay mahadlok ko ako ang ipush, ako ang byaan, gusto ko akoy una mubiya, arun dli ako ang dehado. Dli man pud ko manhater karun, it’s just that I dont like it when someone approaches me so easily dayun byaan ko, I’m so sick of all the temporary people. I dont know kung naa pa bay makastand sa akong kinaiya nga akoy kalit mubiya, nga ingnon nalang kog paasa, dayun tubagon rag “”sala ba diay nko nga muasa ka?”” or “”giingnan ba diay tkag muasa ka?””.. Dayun kami na dayuy dautan sa panan-aws tawo. Some people wont understand kay wala man sila kabalo sa storya. Sa uban sayun ra iingun nga okay rana oy maka getover raka. Hello? Kanus-a pa nasayun ang pag move on sa tawng imo jud gihigugma? You’ll never know until you feel it and experience it yourself..
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Okay I kind of have an issue with some of the posts that are being out up. There is someone who is posting in their mother tongue, is that acceptable? Because we are different cultures here and i wonder how other people would expect us to understand what you are writing. Maybe the admin needs to check this issue. So that we can all communicate together in one language