All Inclusives; don’t marry there

Here’s a proto-bride.

I’m trying to explain to her why she shouldn’t have her wedding at an All Inclusive Hotel; one which ‘sells’ itself as a location for weddings.

As she knows more than I do, she is foot stomping certain that it’s the best idea.

So, she proceeds.

She pays for the wedding and gets a ‘free room’.   She is also told that she is ‘limited’ to twelve guests, unless she pays more.  Each guest, $100 US.

Now twelve guests is quite a small number.  I mean, this is a wedding.  But She Knows Everything!  So she pays, gets her twelve.

She is told that the Gazebo is already booked.  There are weddings there at 10, 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, …. but she can get the Poolside at 2 pm.

She must be ‘on spot’ at 2 pm, go through the ceremony, and leave the area by 2:30 because there is a wedding at 3:00 and the staff will have to set up for that one.

She is also informed, by the way, that the restaurant is already booked, so she can have her reception on the terrace by the Tex-Mex Fast Food Joint.

The wedding begins at 2 pm.   There are people in the seats who don’t belong to her group.  They’ve arrived early for the 3 p.m. and some are still there from the 12 pm

The Marriage Officer is in a rush.  He’s been booked at another All Inclusive down the road, so races through, mispronouncing the Bride’s name.

As soon as the ceremony ends, he out of the place at top speed.

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The Bride and Groom go to take photos.  The guests are sitting there, don’t know what they are to do, when a gal in shorts and a tee shirt tells them to go up the stairs to the Fast Food Joint.

As they get up, the chairs they were sitting on are moved.  They climb the stairs and  arrive on the terrace and sit outside of the Tex-Mex Fast Food Joint until someone comes with a menu of stuff none of them are familiar with but, order.

The food is brought, tastes awful, one guest throws up.

The Bride and Groom are about to join them when the photographer slaps them with a bill for the photos.  The Bride says she already paid, the photographer says, “No, you paid for 50 photos and I’ve taken 158.”

The Bride goes to the room to find the money.

The guests are uncomfortable.  It is hot on the terrace, the chairs are those cheap kind, so they get up and move around, some, through the gate.

By the time the Bride and Groom are to greet the guests, there aren’t any.   The one who threw up is the Bride’s mother, she’s sitting in another restaurant, drinking black coffee, unsure where she is and why she’s here.

The Bride is angry, but can’t let it out.   The Groom and his father go to drink by the bar, they are silent.  The father, because he is remembering all the cherished moments of his wedding, which was behind the Church in the city where he was born. He recalls how his first grade teacher came in and made a moving speech.

The Groom is silent because this was the biggest waste of money in his life and he’d have been happier to have the ceremony at a Registrar’s Office then meet his friends at the Burger King.

But!

The Bride wanted her Wedding the Way She Wanted Her Wedding!  She wanted it at an All Inclusive in Jamaica!

So she got the standard wedding at an All Inclusive in Jamaica.




  • kaylar

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    • That's a horrible wedding. In my opinion, she should listen to other people, especially those who are already married. It is indeed her marriage and she has an option where and how it will be done but the event itself affects other people.

      • Totally horrible. A conveyor belt wedding. For less money she could have had it done at a nearby guest house, being the only wedding and being able to set the menu. But there a people who never listen.

    • In many cultures, it's more of a business transaction than being about love and commitment. Regardless of why a marriage occurs, it is ultimately the legal union of two people. ... The wedding ceremony is often based on religious belief and practice, but marriage itself is a civil institution. Marriage is a covenant, a sacred bond between a man and a woman instituted by and publicly entered into before God and normally consummated by sexual intercourse. ... (3) The intimacy
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      8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage

      WebMD Feature from "Redbook" Magazine
      WebMD Feature Archive

      By Ylonda Gault Caviness

      Redbook Magazine Logo

      The surprising, enlightening, and sometimes hard truths we all face after marriage, and how they teach us about what love really means.

      "...And they lived happily ever after."

      You're smart. You know life is no storybook. But admit it: Somewhere deep in your subconscious lurk romantic visions of Cinderella, or maybe Julia Roberts. The images may be sketchy and a little outdated, but you can still make out the silhouette of the bride and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset.
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      In real life, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Wes Craven horror flick — and you're the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. I've been there. Let's face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it does. But it ain't always pretty.

      That may sound grim. But here's a secret: Sometimes it's the least romantic parts of marriage that have the most to teach you about yourself, your partner, and the nature of love. Read on for some simple truths that will unlock the surprising treasures and pleasures in your imperfect, unstorybook, real-life love.of marriage: Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships, uniting a man and a woman in a "one-flesh" union (Genesis 2:23 -25). A double wedding is a double ceremony where two affianced couples rendezvous for two simultaneous or consecutive weddings. Typically, a fiancé with a sibling who is also engaged, or four close friends in which both couples within the friendship are engaged might plan a double wedding where both couples legally marry. Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor or Bride's Honor Attendant. Bridesmaids or Bride's Attendants. Best Man / Best Woman / Groom's Honor Attendant. Groomsmen.

    • The fact is, when you marry you want your ceremony to be 'special'. You don't want to be 'slotted' from this minute to that minute then have to leave so another wedding can take place. All Inclusives are conveyor belts. It would cost you the same or less to go to a guest house and have it there.

    • Oohh my goodness! What a mess. How can someone be so ignorant? Anyway what can I say but to say serves her right. Sometimes it's good to listen to what you are being told it doesn't cost you anything to listen. If only she would have listened, she would have avoided all this embarrassments.
      That's the problem with people who never take the time to think before making some decisions. We all know that weddings are a big thing for women, and that's why they consult on most of the issues, no one wants their day to be ruined because it's a one day thing and it just had to be the most memorable day of all times. You will find them looking up for wedding planners to help them out with some of the service providers. I can even begin to understand where this bride was coming from and what she was thinking.
      I second the idea of wanting to have an "all inclusive" kind of weddings. They always and up disastrous. Having different venues is the bay thing that anyone would choose in their wedding day. That way you won't have to worry about who's coming next or how long you should use the premises and so on and so forth. I just don't understand why people always want to leave a mark of class after their wedding. You go through so much just to prove a point why can't you just go th3 simple way and enjoy your union. Don't make it a money affair make it your love affair and everyone will be happy.

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