Abusive men often start their ‘career’ of violence in their teens. They hit their girl friends, often ending the relationship, because she may have parents.
If they call the police, and he suffers the penalties, he might be stopped. But in most cases, it just makes them angrier.
Abusive men can’t deal with anger, frustration or ‘the world’. Most will say things like; “The world is against me,” or “Everybody hates me…”
This alienation is what allows them to begin their abuse.
The boy who hits his girlfriend and gets away with it, (although he’ll likely lose that girlfriend) will go on to hit his wife.
His wife, who has been indoctrinated, step by step, from making her cry on their honeymoon, to ridiculing her beliefs, to insulting her in public, will go on to hit her until she escapes.
If he kills her, he will go to prison and other women will be safe. If he doesn’t go to prison he goes on to his next victim.
He may have hit his first woman when he was 18, then married at 20 and beat her. Been divorced, married again at 25 and beat her.
This man can reach 65 and is still doing the same things that is… provoking an argument so as to get the ‘permission’ to beat.
Abusive men always try to make it seem that the woman ‘made them do it’. It is part of their cowardice.
If ‘she’ didn’t do X they he wouldn’t have to hit her.
The lie never gets old. He never sees himself for what he is.
Abusive men stay that way all their lives.
They don’t change.
Abusive men have a pattern. The abuser will strive to make a woman fall in love with him, no matter what it takes.
He will make her believe he loves her far more than she loves him.
When she feels safe in his love, when she succumbs, when he feels he ‘has her’. He begins the process of domestic violence.
He begins with emotional abuse, he isolates her from her family and friends, he goes to intellectual abuse, culminates with spiritual.
He will say things to make her cry. When that stops working, he moves to insult her intelligence. When that no longer pleases him, he so controls her that he can take her from ecstasy to misery by a word.
When he is gearing up to hit her, he starts the shouting, and then, anything she says, he lets his fists do the talking.
The woman who learns he used to hit his first wife, or the woman who is made to cry by some nasty remark he makes, should be out of his reach at the first opportunity.
It never gets better.
It never changes.
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All those abusive acts that you have listed could only be performed by the mentally ill. Such men need counselling provided the partner opens up and deals with it. But sadly partners keep such things under wraps and that is the main reason why these men continue with this barbaric behaviour.
The fact is they are not mentally ill. They are just abusive. They go on and on being abusive until they are stopped. Counselling could help... but for many they aren't wrong. "She knew I wanted steak for dinner but made lamb chops..."
@bestwriter abusive people are not mental they are usually very sane, they know what they are doing all the time, they are very much aware, though they don't show those attributes at the time. and they are very friendly too, what has been mentioned up there is true they are very sly in all that they do. They actually need deliverance i don't even think counseling would work because they need help.
You are very right... you have to experience the dynamics of an abusive relationship. See how the wife is eroded and accepting... see how the husband has her as a fool...
This article is full of sighs and sobs while reading the articles really tears float on my cheeks why people make cruelties on woman at home. When they were child their parents taught him nothing nor the teachers taught him nothing while they have sisters just like she someone's sister.
I I think what government is doing against this physical violence without cause. I think there is now in such country against abusive peoples all over the world.
After marriage women are beaten, disgraced and sued wrongly say home I say why? Women must take action against such people. Women should make a organization to protect woman's respect all over the world.
The government must take action against such abusive persons who succumb to the wounds.
I couldn't be in a relationship that is solely based on violence against women , men , children and even animals.
First time a guy tried to swing at me he found himself lying at the bottom of stairs.
It was for my own good to take action.
When Im with someone or meet someone and all is good for the time being.
I simply let them know violence is not acceptable so you better think twice before you raise a hand , and better be to swear to whatever God you pray to
Most abusers have very low self-esteem and are therefore easily insulted or upset. They may claim their feelings are 'hurt' when they are really angry, or take unrelated comments as personal attacks.
They may perceive normal set-backs (having to work additional hours, being asked to help out, receiving a parking fine, etc.) as grave personal injustices.
They may view your preference for something which differs from their own as a criticism of their taste and therefore themselves.