Case Manager Tried to Bully Me!

Over the last few weeks I’ve been decreasing my dose of Effexor, my anti-depressant medication. Last Thursday, I called my mental health case manager as I was having a terrifying panic attack. I was crying and felt horrible. She said she didn’t mind talking to me as she wouldn’t have answered the phone if she didn’t want to speak to me but in the same sentence admitted she thought I was calling about something else. She went on to tell me “You can’t call someone just because you’re afraid!” as I was crying. She also told me I only think of myself sometimes and implied I am ungrateful! Can you believe the nerve this woman has? I reached out to her because I was having an awful time and that was the help she offered – attacking me.

It took 4 days of my friends talking to me for them to convince me that it’s okay to reach out to them when I’m having a hard time and I need to not pay attention to what she said, but I know when I’m having bad moments her words will pop in my head! If she didn’t want to help me in that moment she should’ve just said so – not have been so cruel. I’d recently told her some things about my past and I think she feels like now that she knows I’m vulnerable she can bully me. I may be vulnerable but I will stand up for myself!

I’ve been bullied enough in my life and I still suffer emotional abuse at home from my mom, I’m not about to deal with it from someone who is paid by the state to help me. I’ve left her a voicemail message saying how cruel and uncalled for her words were. I half doubt she will call me and I bet if she does she tries to pin the blame on me, since mental patients seem to always be in the wrong when a professional is involved. I’m not going to take the blame this time though!