DISCOVERING THE CHILD AS NEEDED

It was a beautiful fall day as my parents left me off at the college dormitory. I stood by

the window and waved as they pulled away. As their car turned the corner and rolled

out of sight, I turned and looked in the mirror. I smiled as broadly as I had smiled in a

very long time. Now don’t get me wrong. They were wonderful parents, but it was time

for me to leave home. And now I figured that I could finally do what I wanted, when I

wanted and how I wanted. I was elated. I had never been happier.

However, it would only be a few days later that I would begin a journey into selfdiscovery that would intrigue me for the next thirty years. As my parents’ voices

dimmed, a new voice rose from inside of me. I’m not sure how they did it, and I’m

certainly not sure when they did it. Somehow my parents put a parent inside of me.

What’s that? Your parents did too? Have you heard that voice? Its tone is indeed very

parental. “I can’t believe you did that!” “You should have known better!” “What am I

going to do with you?”

But a question for me remained.

“Who is the parent addressing?”

I soon discovered that there is a little boy inside of me too. And as I travel and speak, I

have also had confirmed to me that in every woman no matter how old she might be a

little girl resides inside. And no matter how old a man gets a little boy lives inside of him

too.

However, as a counsellor, I have also found that the children living inside of us are not

all equally robust. Some are tired. Some are afraid. Some are sad. Some are just

barely hanging onto life.

Have you understood what I’ve said so far? Can you feel that little child inside of you?

If not, may I suggest that you try the following. I have used this in the counselling room

with hundreds of clients to help them touch this most sensitive part of who they are.