It was a worrisome day like most. Watching Animes and watching Animaniacs. I have been dealing with a deep depression of the mind for years. When something from my fantasy life became too real. Last year fantasy was a little golden. Their was this cute girl I knew. I been a little judgemental to people I knew. A little dramatic. But it’s been a rough few years. I only ask out the girl a few times. But when I wanted to go out, whether for a religious ceremony, or a for a club I want to attend. Should attend. It was evening. And she was smiling and joyful. So happy for me to be out there. Maybe a little tiresome and exhausted. Was she there for me. Probably. And I worry about this too. The terrible separation and limerence set in and cause trouble. I did felt our soul entwine. The best night for luck. The best feeling for feeling. But my mom called and I needed to leave. This is why soldiers join the military. When boys become men. The fate of the male sex. For me and the mood. For my ego kept on living. But my soul cracking. No I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve life. But yes. She is or was my life. She is or was my reason to live and will be my reason to live. For I am trap between serving my country under an unknow justice after another questionable justice. Finding employment. Becoming relax and alone, taking a break. Or being happy and embracing her help, need, and destiny. Her dreams and wishes. Maybe I was questioning monogamy. Should it be saved for marriage or does it not count. Will I be cheating on a another girl if I take this one. But later I realize they were one and the same. In my causal conversion I made an error. But she still loved and hated me time and time again. Did she have a boyfriend. The most likely answer was that she knew my mom was waiting. Maybe somebody could have taken us home. “do you want to go home with me?” I said in my mind. But I abandon her into the flames. I wasn’t loyal to her. I like any girl I find to allude to her. I never touched her before that night. Just very. And that was longer than a minute. As a hipster fool I abandoned the woman I wanted to have my first sexual, interminate, and human relationship with. But that minute I ran into my mom’s car. She would return, and I did caught her in the act, if it was an act. I was so mean and terrible to her, and she was so gentle and forgiving. I don’t know her. But I know her mind. I may hate her, love her, or be completely neutral with this chick. Maybe the great limerence won’t last, lsuch as the case the Roman empire. Not all things on our earthly realm last for ever. But maybe our fate is sealed for together. Or part alast to the sea of new waves and holy spirits.
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Sometimes that last minute counts as ur last time so the best thing to do is live it to the fullest becuz we never knew what will happen when time comes. I will cherish what I have wit my boyfriend until god says no but for right now I don't think God is tellin me no.