Do You Know? Your Own Attitudes Is Hindering Your Success

×stop Stopping – I’ve completed six half

marathons (13.1 miles) over the past few

years and each one has been an emotional

experience for me. Here’s how it usually

goes…

The gun goes off: “This is great! Today is

gonna be a personal record, I just know

it.”

Mile 5: “Am I sane?”

Mile 10: “You want this, ouch, you want

this, ouch.”

Mile 13: “Where’s the dang finish line!!!!”

Finish line: “That. Was. Awesome. When’s

the next one?”

They say that at the very moment you

want to quit, you’re actually almost there.

It’s the stupid human in us…we go so far

and then our brains take over and tell us

it’s too hard. When did we get the memo

that life was supposed to be easy all the

time?

Think right now about something you keep

stopping. You committed to it, but then

you suddenly quit because it started to

require a little extra elbow grease. A

project at work, a relationship, a fitness

goal. Remember why you started it, then

push onward. Because the more you stop

and think about quitting, the longer it’ll

take to get to your desired result. Or

worse, you’ll never know what it feels like

to reach the finish line.

×stop Saying Tomorrow – You know the

saying, “Yesterday you said tomorrow?”

Seriously, stop that! Delaying or

procrastinating around something that

you think is important means one of two

things. You’re either scared to start

because it means your life will change or

you want it for the wrong reasons (i.e.

someone else is encouraging you to do it).

So yes, that new healthy eating thing you

want to do will be very difficult and

possibly unpleasant. But every day you

wait to start is another day you’re not

helping yourself. And you keep telling

yourself that you’ll wait until the kids are

a certain age before you finish your

degree, but is that really the main reason

you’re waiting? Or is it because studying is

not nearly as exciting as all the other

options you have right now? And while

you’re at it, why are you donating free

money to the gym? They haven’t seen you

in months.

Quit Expecting – I got an email the other

night from someone looking for advice

after reading this article . He told me that

he’s been working for the same company

for his entire career, rising through the

ranks and loving it. But recently he

realized he’s hit a wall – he’s had many

reviews and each time he meets with

management, they’re not giving him the

promotion he knows he’s ready for. My

question to him was, “Have you asked for

it?”

It’s very rare for a company to

proactively promote someone at a fast

pace. Especially true in older

organizations, if you expect your company

to promote you when they feel you’re

ready for it, you’ll be sitting around

waiting for about 10 years to reach the

next level.

Your boss is like your significant other.

Don’t expect them to read your mind.

They’ll only know what you need when you

tell them. If you really have your heart

set on something (like a promotion), you

must be vocal about it. If you don’t speak

up, you’re leaving the translation up to

them. Expect at your own risk.

Quit Avoiding – Suck it up. We all have

things we don’t want to do, but we have to

do them because we’re adults. (Should I

have started the paragraph with, “Dear

Congress”?)

I once managed a team responsible for a

corporate-wide project with a lot of

moving pieces. There were some majorly

miserable elements to that project and

there were some really sexy parts (i.e.

things you put on your resume) too. As I

sat with my boss reviewing progress one

day, she asked why I hadn’t finished one

particular task (a task that couldn’t be

delegated). I responded with, “It’s boring

me!” Her response was, “Your point?”

Yeah, life doesn’t work that way. You

can’t pluck the fun parts out and leave

the tough parts on the table. You take all

or none.

If we didn’t have to work hard to reach

success, we wouldn’t appreciate it. If

there’s something you’re putting off

because it’s boring you, it’s hard,

physically demanding or tiring…just get

up and get it done. Quit avoiding it. There

will be rewards along the way and there

will be a great sense of accomplishment at

the end.

Quit Being A Victim – When people tell me

they’re doing something or making certain

choices because they have “no choice,” it

makes me want to bang my head on the

table…and then put that on repeat. You

have a choice in everything you do.

Barring a few really crazy exceptions, no

one holds your hand to the fire on

anything. And if you’re choosing to

remain in a place that isn’t positive,

you’re victimizing yourself.

You are not so worthless that you have to

keep dating that person. Obama and the

economy are not forcing you to stay in

that career. There are other places you

could live. And it’s not your schedule that

prevents you from being healthy.

Our social groups are great for

complaining. We all discuss our problems

with our friends and that’s ok. But there

are limits. Everyone gets a few

opportunities to complain about a

particular hardship, but if you seek advice

and respond with “but I can’t” (said in

whiny voice) too many times, you officially

become a victim. Eventually, you’ll have to

ask yourself whether you even want to fix

the problem.

×stop Saying Yes – My yoga instructor,

Angela Wagner , reminded me recently

that anytime we say yes to something,

we’re saying no to something else. So when

you say yes to a happy hour, you’re saying

no to <insert your choice of workout>.

When you say yes to a crappy review from

your boss, you’re saying no to getting

acknowledged for the great work that was

overlooked. When you say yes to watching

pointless reality TV shows, you’re saying

no to doing the dishes. Or if you say yes to

staying late at the office, you’re saying

no to your relationship.

It could be you don’t need to entirely quit

saying yes. You may just need to analyze

when you’re saying yes and what you’re

trading for it. You might find yourself

saying yes to things you don’t even care

about and no to things that could make

your life better in some way.