do you want to laugh out your sorrow? kindly read to the end

Q: What does one penny say to the other penny?

A: Let’s get together and make some cents.

Q: What’s 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and

drives women wild?

A: a $100 bill!

Q: What is Barack Obama’s new slogan in these

tough times?

A: Spare Change You Can Believe In!

If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks

have branches?

Q: What is brown and has a head and a tail but

no legs?

A: A penny.

Q: When does it rain money?

A: When there is “change” in the weather.

Q: Two coins add up to 30 cents, and one is not

a nickel. What are they?

A: A quarter and a nickel. The quarter isn’t a

nickel.

Q: Why don’t cows have any money?

A: Because farmers milk them dry.

Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks”

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money

Son: “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”

Q: Why did the man think he saw a ghost on

Halloween?

A: A kid dressed up as a 401 (K)

Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with

the nickel?

A: Because it had more cents.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on

the top of their head?

A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: What did the midget say when I asked him for

a dollar?

A: “Sorry, I’m a little short”

Q: What book do women like the most?

A: “Their husbands checkbook!”

Q: Why is there no gold at the end of the

rainbow?

A: The Leprechan took it and sold it to

Cash4Gold!

Q: Why are guys calling information in Bangkok?

A: To save money on phone sex!

Q: What happens when you give 61 dollars to a

blonde?

A: She wants 8 (ate) more.

Q: How much money does a skunk have?

A: One scent!

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his

money?

A: I’m paw!

Q: What is the only way to keep your money

from the casinos in Vegas?

A: When you get off the plane walk into the

propellers!

Q: How is the moon like a dollar?

A: They both have 4 quarters.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can�t

budge it.

Q: Why did the girl put two quarters in her ear?

A: To hear 50 Cent

Q: What coin doubles in value when half is

deducted?

A: A half dollar.

Q: What have women and condoms got in

common?

A: If they’re not on your dick they’re in your

wallet.

Q: Why shouldn’t you lend a anthropologist

money?

A: They consider a million years ago to be

Recent.

Q: What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?

A: $4.99 a minute.

Q: What do you call an investment that profits off

of shareholder activism?

A: The “Feeling is Mutual Fund”.

Q: Why can’t Lebron James shop at the dollar

store?

A: Because he only has 3 quarters!

Q: Why did the man keep throwing Monopoly

Money at the stripper?

A: Because she kept putting fake tits in his face!

Q: What do stockbrokers say to each other when

they want the other person to shut up?

A: Put a stock in it!

Q: How do you hide money from a hippie?

A: Put it under the soap.

Q: How do you know Nadya Suleman’s (Octo-

Mom) getting pretty desperate for money?

A: Four of her kids are already working for Nike!

Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a

Leprechan?

A: They’re always a little short.

Q: How did Bernie Madoff get the idea for a ponzi

scheme (where you use the money of new

investors to pay off the older investors.)

A: Social Security!

Q: What is Alimony?

A: The screwing you get for the screwing you

got!

Q: If marriage is grand what is divorce?

A: Ten grand!

Q: What do you call a man with a head full of

change?

A: Headquarters.

Q: What has a head and a tail but is not an

animal?

A: A penny.

Q: What do you get when you put THE money

you’ve earned and IRS together?

A: THEIRS!

Q: What did the cent say to the Dollar?

A: You make no cents.

Q: What do you call an Asian who’s good at

stock picking?

A: Cha-Chng

Q: Why is divorce so expensive?

A: Because it’s worth it.

Q: How did the Banker die?

A: He Cashed Out

Q: Where do seagulls invest their money?

A: In the stork market!

Q: What do corn use for money?

A: Corn “Bread.”

Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a

prostitute?

A: A prostitute, because she can always wash

her crack, and sell it again!

Q: Why did Bank Of America want to return all

the government bailout money ASAP?

A: Because they were upset at all the hidden

fees!

Q: What’s the difference between the Chicago

Bears and a dollar bill?

A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar

bill.

Q: Do you know 50 Cent’s half brother’s name?

A: 25 Cent.

Q: What do you find in between the couch?

A: M&M’s and fifty cent

Q: If Bill Gates collapses right in front of you,

what’s the first thing you do?

A: Grab his wallet.

Q: What did the coin say to the token?

A: Dude, that makes no cents.

Q: Where do penguins keep their money?

A: In a snow bank!

Q: Why did the man put his money in the

freezer?

A: He wanted cold hard cash!

Q: What has a head, a tail, but no legs?

A: A penny.

Q: Why did the idiot go broke?

A: Because he had no cents.

Q: How did Mitt Romney make hundreds of

millions of dollars?

A: By turning $21 an hour jobs into $9 an hour

jobs

Q: Why do Jewish guys watch porno movies

backwards?

A: They like the part where the hooker gives the

money back

Q: What’s the difference between Former Mayor

of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, and a prostitute?

A: The prostitute gives value for the money she

takes.

Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring

you a more pleasant form of misery.

Q: What do fish use for money?

A: Sand dollars!

Q: Where does a fish keep his money

A: In the River Bank!

Q: What’s the difference between a counterfeit

dollar and a skinny blonde?

A: One’s a phony buck.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness,

simply didn’t know where to shop.

When I have money, I have nothing to buy. When

I don’t have money, I want everything.

Money is not the root of all evil, Jealousy is.KENNY BLAQ PERFORMANCE AT AY LIVE 2017