Understanding Emotional Intelligence (Part II)

There are people who ‘read’ other people.  Not by magic or divination, perhaps they can feel the ‘aura’ or are alert enough to pick up the clues.   They know if you are upset.  They know what to say, how to say it.

They can defuse a situation, they can inspire.   They can divert and can help you focus.

They aren’t magicians, they have emotional intelligence.

Science is just beginning to appreciate that having a PH.d doesn’t mean a person can function usefully in the world.  It means they can pass tests.   Most of life isn’t in a ‘test’.  Most of life is happening in an ungraded unsupervised reality in which one can’t stop time, and look up the answer.

By focusing on the ability to score high on an I.Q. test and gather degrees, society misses the real geniuses who can interact with the public, who can gain success, and who often get that extra effort from others.

For example, let us take Wendy.  She has degrees and not a friend to her name.  No one asks her advice on anything, no one confides in her, and when she applies for a position, she usually fails the interview.  This is because Wendy has a very low E.Q.  She doesn’t know how to inspire confidence, she doesn’t exude success, and she’s a bit creepy to be around.

Take Dee.  She doesn’t have half of Wendy’s education.  Everyone likes her.  She’s always in the loop.   She never applies for a post, she’s offered.   This is because Dee has a very high E.Q.   She makes those around her feel comfortable and liked.  She makes people happy.    People want to be around her.

When Dee goes to buy petrol, she’s smiling, she’s friendly, she’s just nice.  People will always help her.  When Wendy goes, she doesn’t deign to look at the attendant, and if she asks for something that requires a ten step walk, the better answer is ‘no’.

Having Emotional Intelligence means you reach out to people.   You see them.  Really see them.  You really listen to them.    You find smiles and happiness in everything.  You are in charge of yourself and can control your feelings, your responses, and feel grounded in the world.

You see life as an adventure and can always find humour and joy.   You will be successful, because people will help you and want to be in your circle.