Giving Yourself Worry

Famous story, you all know it.

Guy has a flat tyre and does not have a jack.  He looks around and sees a house.  He starts to walk to it. As he walks he images the house holder.   He presumes the chap would be sleeping.   He considers the man will be annoyed.  He can hear the man snap at him in his imagination.   By the time he reaches the door and presses the bell, he is so psyched, he shouts at the house holder….”You can Keep your Dam Jack!”

The other day a similar thing happened to me.   There was one logical solution, but I assumed it would be kicked down.

I was having this mental callisthenic, making the assumption that that a particular person would object to this idea.

The more I thought about it, the more annoyed I was getting.

How could she object?  What did she have to gain/lose?

I was deep into my reflections,  thinking of a sharp retort, and then, how I would do it anyway.   That despite her objections I would do it, and make a confrontation.

I had the whole performance choreographed in my head.

I would do This Act.  She would jump in my face and say That,.  When she said That I would counter with The Other.

This argument went on and on in my head.  I could feel my blood pressure coming up.  I couldn’t eat.  I was more than stressed.

All of a sudden,  I saw her.   I saw her and she suggested, out of her own mouth, with no prompting, that I do This Act.

That I do exactly what I intended which I thought she would object to.

Feeling stupid?  Oh yeah.

After this confrontation, when I had to look at my license to remember my name,  I wondered, why had I become Negative Norma?

Why had I assumed that she would object to what was perfectly logical?

Why had I dwelled on the negative possibilities and not, for a pico second assumed that she would see the same thing I did?

It became one of those sit down for one hour and reflect on things.  Sit down and realise how many assumptions people make with almost no evidence.

Why had I worked myself into a frenzy over undone possibilities?

I tried to recall if I’d done this before, and noticed I had, but not in such dramatic ways.

I started to consider that maybe, just maybe, all my worries were self induced by imagining the obverse.

Maybe, if I stopped worrying, and let go, I’d be a lot better off than I am.