Some people think that it is only extreme physical violence, not the occasional slap.
Some people believe that the woman stays because she wants to and could get out if she didn’t.
This is because those who are unfamiliar with Domestic Violence do not understand it is a process. A process in which the self view of one person is so eroded as to allow the other person to abuse them as if they deserve it or caused it.
It continues because the victim does not believe she (and sometimes he) has a choice and is to blame.
It is not a quick process. One doesn’t go from the happy lovers to the wife lying in the hospital. It is a step by step process in which over time the identity of one person is so eroded so as they do not appreciate what has happened.
The husband who slaps his wife before the process is completed finds her gone. And not coming back.
In most cases, the abuse is slow and measured. The self-assurance of the victim is eroded day by day so that when the slap comes, (if it comes) the victim believes she caused it. The victim accepts it.
That acceptance only comes after a period of time in which the husband has completed the process.
If the abuser acts too quickly, before he has destroyed the relationships between the victim and her family and friends, before she has been so emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually damaged so as to accept it, the relationship ends.
Some abusers never hit their victims. They don’t have to. The victim is so emotionally, spiritually and intellectually demeaned that insults are sufficient.
Some men gain pleasure by wife bashing. This is, they find another woman and spend their time tearing their wife apart to another female’s ears. They get so much pleasure out of insulting their wife behind her back to a stranger then never need the physical adultery.
Some men enjoy the emotional abuse of their wives to the extent they need not move to the next level.
The usual process is emotional abuse, isolation, intellectual abuse, spiritual abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse. These steps are necessary to create the perfect victim.
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I agree with you, abuse is so real in this world but we still see people stay into this abusive relationships thinking that things will change. Usually they never change, instead they get worse as the day goes by. One interesting thing that I have read is that men go and rant to other women about their wives when they are abused, that's something that I never knew. Many times I have heard men trash about their wives to other women, and I have all had the opportunity to hear them rant. It's not such a nice thing when they do that. But what can I say abuse can come in different ways in both men and women.
Many factors can contribute to domestic violence, but none excuse hurting another person. Partners who are in healthy relationships respond to problems by talking things out together—or sometimes by seeking therapy—and do not turn to controlling or abusive behavior. You have a right to be respected in all aspects of your relationship.
The roots of domestic violence and other types of violent relationships are linked to power and control.
If one partner feels the need to dominate the other in any shape or form, whether it is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological, then it is significantly more likely a relationship will turn violent. Research has shown that people with abusive tendencies generally turn violent when they feel out of control.
Many people will try to blame domestic abuse on a variety of factors, and although these factors may increase the likelihood of domestic abuse, they are not the cause of domestic abuse.
Domestic abuse is a matter of choice for perpetrators. They choose to exert power and control over their victims.