When you have spent so many years hiding behind a fake smile. Smiling to keep others from knowing that something is wrong, smiling because you wouldn’t know how to be yourself around people. Smiling when really all you want to do is cry. Cry about your previous pain, cry because it is the only time you feel ok. Feeling ok that for once in a very long time your tears actually made since. The pain that you go through can last a long time, feeling depressed because how will anyone ever understand how you feel. Feeeling lonely when nobody can relate to how you feel. Feeling hopeless when every time someone says “it’s going to be ok”when really they have no idea on how much you keep bottled in. Keep it bottled in because your afraid that people will judge you. Judge you for not speaking up a long time ago. When really a long time ago you were to afraid to say anything. To afraid to say anything because you didn’t want to expose yourself to being more vulnerable than you already feel.