A person who is quietly confident makes the best leader. but a louzy one became fool entirely

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three

I ALSO WONDER THE PURPOSE OF HAVING FRIENDS HERE (have not been having a word with them except zayn meek)

I ALSO WONDER THE PURPOSE OF HAVING FRIENDS HERE (have not been having a word with them except zayn meek)

I ALSO WONDER THE PURPOSE OF HAVING FRIENDS HERE (have not been having a word with them except zayn meek)

I ALSO WONDER THE PURPOSE OF HAVING FRIENDS HERE (have not been having a word with them except zayn meek)

Funny quotes are great for bringing a bit of humor into our lives. They help to lighten the mood, they’re excellent for breaking the ice, and of course, they’re fun to share with friends. After all, as Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”