opeloyeru luqman
@holapluz active 7 years, 6 months ago-
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Hi @Dina, it seems you are bursting a lot with the issues on living together with the in-laws. It’s always a not a easy task and always bring some issues when getting married and consider to live or not to live with the in-laws.
Do correct me if I am wrong, I think this only happen to Eastern societies and Eastern culture. To the Western, and the Russian society, they prefer the daughter live far away from them after getting married. This is the make sure the newly married couple can have their own life, and won’t always go back home for assistance too.
In my society, the Chinese couple used to go back in-law either wife side or hubby side’s house for dining after working. It could be a good bonding for the two generation, but I would say it could make the new couple still living in at comfort zone which make them not matured enough in handling own life after marriage.Anyway, again, all decision has its advantages and drawbacks, God bless you, Dina!
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That is true. In western countries, once you are married or even when you only reached 18 , you are to live independently or when married , with your husband.
Though, in our case , we have to give in to their request and transfer at their house, because they are only 3 in the big house and brother-in-law is living and working in another province on weekdays, so it is necessary that they have companions at home specially when father-in-law got bedridden. We have to be there so we can also supervise when we come home from work, how the caregiver is taking care of him.
Besides , our daughter now will already be living in Manila and would only come home for vacations , now that she is a doctor in the hospital that gives her scholarship in Medicine.
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Living with your in laws is the last thing anyone in their right mind should do or even think about. How now how do you start, what would make you even think about it? It is not a good idea to move in with your in laws, if you do that then you can kiss your privacy goodbye, because it’s at that point that your business becomes everyone else’s business. You cannot do anything without someone butting in. Your better off having your own home then sharing a home with your in laws. In our community when a man gets married he is supposed to get a piece of land somewhere else and build a home for him and his family. The only time he can stay at his parents home is when he may not have a piece of land. But he should be organizing to get one as well. I have seen so many conflicts come about with mother’s in law and their daughter’s in law living in the same house or compound thereby causing misunderstandings between the children and parents. So I wouldn’t advocate for couples living with their in laws
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That is true. Though, we don’t think of their educational attainment when they act like that. It’s more of a survival for them which we truly understand. We have proven her to be trustworthy and has been with us for many years and that is enough for us to help them.
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So many people go through life’s hurdles quietly you wouldn’t know what someone is going through until you notice something and start asking questions.
We may go through certain problems but because we don’t want to be seen as needy people we would rather be quiet and just try to deal with the punching pain. The thing is it’s not always so easy to hide this situations. At Ted it becomes so harsh that you have to ask.
I remember i also had a house help who would come to wash for me my clothes and clean the house. That girl had do many problems she used to do two jobs everyday so that she would make ends meet, yet the two jobs were not even e nought to provide for her daily needs. So I took it upon myself to help her out and that’s why I told to be coming to wash for me. She would come to my home when she is so tired and worn out and we all know that when someone is so tired there is no way they will wash or do whatever they are doing well.
So sometimes I would just give her a few clothes to wash because I know they won’t be washed clean. I could give her good she would eat and eat but if you watched her you could tell that she is not satisfied, I would oftenly give her some good stuffs so she would go and cook at her house for her child. I remember when she would come on Sundays, she would come with her daughter, she was a young kid around 3 years of age. They would be so tired that you feel sorry and just offer them food. That child used to eat until you feel sorry. As much as you would like to help it’s a bit impossi or given that you also have yourself to take care of and your house. So I know how bad it can get but there is so much that one can do.
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