June 4, 2016 at 10:56 pm

@Moregoodie  No, the others would be out of district, so I have to send her to this school there are 2 or 3 more near us but they said they are out of our district. Mine goes to public school and it really isn’t no better than what you are telling me about private school, of course with you being in a different state it might. The homework thing I try to not let go because when she fibs and tells me there is none and there is they give her after school detention for not having assignments and that makes her late on her afternoon medicine and even more defiant against homework.

June 5, 2016 at 12:03 pm

@morgoodie Have you ever done an ABC tracking sheet for her? (That’s “antecedent, behaviour, consequence.”) It might help you to get a better idea what triggers her outbursts, and maybe even some warning signs you & she could use to help prevent them.

June 7, 2016 at 7:22 am

@melissa   I only let homework go when it is just getting too much of a struggle. Since she has been going out of the classroom every day, she has not had any homework other than doing the sentences for spelling words. This has made it so much easier to deal with her after school and we can do things together instead of fight. She has grown a lot this year and does not throw the fits like she did when she was younger. However, she is starting to go through puberty and that is going to be a whole other issue I am sure. Lol

@ruby3881  With the help of her therapist, I have found out that it was her having to keep her emotions and behavior in check at school for the whole day that was causing her to have meltdowns when we got home. Her therapist said that her relationships at school are not concrete and she does not feel comfortable or safe having an outburst at school. I have never had an issue behavior with her at school. She is rather quiet unless she is with her best friend. However, she would shut down at school, but I warned her teacher about that and told her what to look for when she was shutting down. She has a way of trying to fold in on herself so if she is sitting in her chair she will put her head down to her chest, slouch down in the chair and fold her arms around herself like she is trying to disappear.

Her therapist said that she feels secure in our relationship that she will let all her emotions out and since she doesn’t know what to do with them they are in the form of a meltdown. The therapist said that it was a good sign for our relationship since she knows that nothing will ever break it and she can trust me to be there for her. Otherwise, she would probably just keep it all in.

I have not heard of this ABC before and I am really bad about documenting things. I think maybe I may have ADD as well and just not been diagnosed with it. I have learned so much about myself and my school experience through my daughter it was like a light going off in my head and brought back memories that I had forgotten about.

June 7, 2016 at 8:06 am

That is awful. Simply terrible. It is not good to let the other children know about what one child has or what condition they have or whatever. They will gang up on that person, tease them mercilessly and alienate them to the point of wanting to quit school or become withdrawn and anti-social.

Bullying is on the rise. I used to be bullied just because I wore eye glasses. I really feel so badly for your daughter. Let her know that lookat has ADHD, Bipolar and all that stuff and I just don’t let other people bother me about it. When it comes down to it, a disorder can be treated, and is no different in my opinion than a heart condition or thyroid condition or epilepsy. It is a medical condition that does not diminish one’s own intrinsic goodness. I would rather be bipolar than a bully.

June 9, 2016 at 3:56 am

@morgoodie Even though mine was going out of the class everyday the teachers still sent home quite a bit of homework. Instead of doing like I told them to and write it in her agenda what she was to do at home they left it up to her to do which she won’t do because she struggles with the work. When she would go to school the next day and not have it they would punish her by giving her after school detention. Yet her therapist says not to fight with her over the homework if she does one or two problems on each page it shows she knows how to do it. Fine. But the school doesn’t look at it that way and punishes her.

@anthony Davis Thank you. That is what I tell her all the time. No one is perfect everyone has their faults.

June 9, 2016 at 5:47 am

@melissa  I am sorry that your daughter has to go through that. It is not right. I had that included in her 504 about not having to do all the homework and just do the even or odd numbered math problems. There was one day she came home with over 40 math problems to do because her teacher forgot about the limit on it. So I told her to that she just needed to do one of each kind of the rest of the ones and wrote a note for the teacher.

Sometimes, I feel like I am just trying to get her special privileges and I feel like one of “those” moms that are constantly at the teacher and going ballistic about things. I keep telling myself just 7 more years of school. Like that makes if feel any better.

I really do hope your daughter has a better time next year and gets the extra help that she needs from her teachers. I have even played around with the idea of online schooling or homeschooling which at least then I would be able to guarantee that she will have the attention she needs.

June 9, 2016 at 7:40 am

@ morgoodie  that’s what I keep telling myself just 7 more years but honestly I feel that’s for my sanity because she will still have these issues and I know that it is harder on her than it is on me. I too, feel like one of those moms because it is not right them punishing her for something they are failing to do. According to them she has less homework than the others but really I see no difference. Luckily about two years ago I became unable to work outside of the home due to health issues because I am at the school more than I am at home.

June 9, 2016 at 8:39 am

@melissa  Yes it is true that is only for our sanity. I feel bad that my daughter is going to struggle with this her whole life. I hope that she develops the ability to become her own advocate when she is an adult. Hopefully, by then things maybe a little different and there will be more awareness. People just are not educated and it seems that they keep trying to fit everyone in a box. I would like it much better if teachers were taught to teach children how to learn by how the children learn. I am sure that is unrealistic thinking though.

June 9, 2016 at 10:15 pm

@morgoodie Exactly, I am hoping the same for mine when she becomes an adult. The good thing is I know a lady whom is a registered nurse with the exact same problems as my daughter, she takes her meds regularly and has been a successful nurse for years, that gives me a lot of hope for our childrens future even with their difficulties. As for the teachers I agree with you but like you said that probably is just wishful thinking. It seems as if all the teachers at my daughters school are oblivious that some children need more assistance than others even at the more advanced ages. I guess they think just because they look and for the most part act normal that they are normal when in fact they need a little extra shove in the right direction. I have also learnt that my daughter does extremely better if she tries to do something and you praise her for trying even if it is incorrectly done. Which I have expressed to the school but I do not think it is being implemented. I think they only praise her when it is done correctly to their standards.