November 15, 2016 at 12:36 am

Most families are held together by either a grandfather or a grandmother figure. I know on my mom’s side of the family it was my grandmother that held the family together. I don’t know about my father’s side.

My grandmother (mom’s mother) was the one that always kept the peace in the family. She made sure that everyone got along and we always celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house. I had no problem with that since I lived with her my whole entire life. She would make sure to make the main dishes and some of her favorite desserts. The rest of the family would bring side dishes to go along with the main dish.

When grandma died in 1995 everything changed all at once. The family stopped talking to each other and they even treated me like the black sheep of the family. I moved out shortly after my grandmother died and never went back.

How is life like in your family?

November 16, 2016 at 12:53 pm

I think the person whose sole responsibility to keep the family together is the mother. The mother of the house is responsible for keeping the family together. Though the father and children contribute in one way or the other but I think the mother is the prior holder of the family. When a father passes away, the mother can easily keep the family together and even if there is no money, the mother makes the children to understand and learn how to manage their lives. But when a mother passes away, the father has low probability of keeping the family together. Most father’s tend to remarry and leave the other children to suffer thereby breaking the family. Mothers know the value of peaceful families more than the fathers. You hardly see  a widow remarry after husband’s death but you will always see widowers marry another woman just within 1 to 2 years after the  wife’s death. And when they marry the wrong woman, they are easily controlled and compelled to do whatever she desires and her desire can be to turn away the husband’s mind from his children.

November 16, 2016 at 1:06 pm

The role the father plays in keeping the family together is to provide them with the finances for food and to pay other outstanding fees like school fees and others. The father’s role in keeping the family together is to give advices and having principles and also making the children live by his principles. For a family to be together, the father has to learn how to endure every of his wife’s fault. Any family that has endurance will last as long as forever. The mother of the family shouldn’t take every matter so seriously so as to enable peace in the family. The mother should carry out her role as well. She should know her duty on the family and carry them out. She should know when to cook and how to cook. She should learn the husband and know his mood so as to know how to follow him. No matter how much she is being paid or how high her status is, she should know that she always  need to be submissive to get husband and know her husband is higher than her when it comes to family issues. At least that can keep a family together.

November 16, 2016 at 1:11 pm

The role the father plays in keeping the family together is to provide them with the finances for food and to pay other outstanding fees like school fees and others. The father’s role in keeping the family together is to give advices and having principles and also making the children live by his principles. For a family to be together, the father has to learn how to endure every of his wife’s fault. Any family that has endurance will last as long as forever. The mother of the family shouldn’t take every matter so seriously so as to enable peace in the family. The mother should carry out her role as well. She should know her duty on the family and carry them out. She should know when to cook and how to cook. She should learn the husband and know his mood so as to know how to follow him. No matter how much she is being paid or how high her status is, she should know that she always  need to be submissive to get husband and know her husband is higher than him when it comes to family issues. At least that can keep a family together.

November 16, 2016 at 2:51 pm

For my own opinion, I think that every member of the family has the right to held the family together.

Nowadays, there are parents who are irresponsible in letting their families together even ones. Some parents are busy with their works and they don’t have time to bond with their family/children. Or everyone in the family is busy with their things. So I might say that any member of the family has the right to held the family together at least once a week.

Like in our family, everyone has their own life. But still, if i am not that busy, or anyone in the family is not busy, he or she find time to set a family bonding that will let us all together. Although, sometimes there are family members that are not present because of some engagements, but they make it the next time.

Occasions are also one of the best ways to let our family bond together. Technology is all around, so just one contact will be okay. 🙂

November 16, 2016 at 6:41 pm

@evilelf, Hi friend? How are you now? How is your mom too this time? I hope she no longer feels pain on her body. You have a very nice topic, so realistic and true to all families on earth. You are right in your contention and the contention of others here that if there is none in the family that acts as the head to keep the bond and held the family together as one is father. Sad to say my mom died when I was 6 years old. I never had tasted love from a mother, but I learn to fell love because my siblings love me much. After my mom’s death, it was my father the sole binder of our family. The he remarried, but he remains faithful to us members in the family. Our father was a retired military official and bought some lands for us children to inherit when he too , passed away.My father passed away in 1998 at age 81. We subdivided the 10 hectares land and had our share planted with different crop productions. Our parents were all great, good models in our family, relatives and neighbors.

We felt so desperate when our father left is forever. Who takes care of our family to still have strong bond and togetherness this time, our eldest brother. he takes the responsibility to bond us with tight. We always have yearly Grand Reunion.Thanks for readings.Take care.

November 16, 2016 at 8:05 pm

Many people today are emotionally or psychologically injured due to different losses that they have in curred in crisis. This is true especially though crises. In the recent times as the world over is passing ones, some are raped, some folks have lost their love ones. Some are raped, maimed and tortured while others lost their properties.

November 16, 2016 at 9:13 pm

I agree with you nehemia.al the family members need to come together to hold th3 family in one peace. I know many say the mothe because most of th3 thingsand responsibilities usually lie on the efforts of the mother. And we can also say that the mother is the one who runs a family inbthe sense that when shopping has to be done, the moyher is the one who should know what is in the house and what is missing. Just like other things when it comes to tidiness the woman is the one who is looked at.when the kids turn out well or they behave responsibly we will probably say that its the mother who has thought them well.when we have conflicts in th3 house or outside, who normally comes in yo cool out th3 fire isn’t it the mother? For sure so we cant refute that fact, but again even as the mother does that, she also needs some backup at some point and thats why i say yhat everyo e i th3 family needs to take the responsibility to hold together the gamily and that will keep it stronger and more united than anything.

November 17, 2016 at 12:44 am

Mother held the family together most, Example, when a man wake up as early as 7:30am to go to work, the mother always they with children and other family members, show me a family were children are well behave then i will show you good mother of that house, she is the reason, mother are more responsible in affair of family than man, when family are good mother was the reason,  sometimes grandmother do also sometimes held family, because I can remember when I was little my grandmother always want me to stay with her, grandmother held the family but not up to 25%, instead the real mother of the home is the reason family are helds together. Mother are the owner of home because they more responsible and meekable to amend issues at home than man, mother do more work in other to keep family and familiy members together, when there is good mothers then we expect good soilciety, some of the problems we have today in our society is because mothers fails their duties as a mother in the family, mother are very good to have, know when God created mother as a helper unto man God knows that woman will have more work to do instead of man, in other hand, for main looking at it i want to consider mother strength mothers are sronger than man, mother held family together there is no two ways about it, when man went out mother keep their home and take care family, mother is the owner of house she knows when kid are sick, she knows when gone out of the house and she knows things come in the house, is very sweet to have goodmother at home, mother take careof the home , they beautify the family they just like roses in the family, mother are not involve violent the way of peace is what they after, mother held the family together than man, mother 85% and man 15% mother all the way.

November 17, 2016 at 9:10 am

Everyone in the family has an important role to play to keep the family together. Love must be present to keep it intact. 🙂

November 17, 2016 at 3:20 pm

Let us hope that our friend @evilelf has no problem this time. This is the first evening here I noticed that she has no discussions. I am so worried about our friend here. She has a very big problem about the health related issues of her mom. Her mom has just been released from the hospital, but it seems the pain continues.

Let us show our friend @evilelf our care and thoughtfulness by sharing some prayers for the health recovery of her mom.She has a heavy heart this time. It is not easy to have a family member sick and feeling weak. It is hard for us to witness how our loves suffer and sacrifice just to survive from a sickness.Her mom , I think, is the one that keeps their family at a strong bond.

Thanks for reading.

November 23, 2016 at 8:04 pm

 cely, Mom is finally feeling better. Thanks for your concern. It’s good to know that people do care. It’s been hard getting mom to eat and take her medication but I stuck to it and did just that. Now she gets up and takes her medication on her own. I still make sure she takes them. I also make sure she eats. That was my biggest concern was her eating. With her being diabetic she needs to eat something. I’ve had too many family members to die from complications of diabetes. 

So what has changed here on LB? I’m glad to be back.