May 25, 2016 at 1:49 am

I know that since my grandchildren are spending time with us, I realize that I have little patience!! lol  Don’t get me wrong I love my grandchildren dearly, but my goodness they are very active and love to ask questions!!  I know that there are some women that are in their late 40′-early 50’s that are having children and raising them!!  Where do they find the patience?  The grandchildren I can always send home, but having your own children would be something you have to deal with!!

I know a lot depends on how mature a woman is and if they really want children. If you really want a child and mature enough, I guess age doesn’t matter.  There are teens nowadays that are having children of their own or they already have a several of them before they are even 20.

How old were you when you had children?  Do you think there is a certain age to have children?

May 25, 2016 at 2:48 am

I always thought grandparents will have more patience than parents. But I do agree with you, kids are so active and like to ask a lot of questions, and they can really talk non-stop for the whole day, and everyday!!

I decided to have children when I think I am really mentally and emotionally ready (that means I am mature enough). I had my first child when I was 30 years old. I think that’s the perfect age for me to have my children, though sometimes I wish to have my first child earlier, so I can have more children. I believe that was the time I was ready to take care of my children. I agree with you that age might varies depending on the maturity of the parents, not only the mother.

I actually have more patience than before, and I always think I will be calmer and more patient when I reach 40. So, I guess when I become a grandmother, I will be more patient. Of course, I will not be as energetic as the kids!

So, your grandchildren are already there with you now? Enjoy spending time with them! I guess you will miss them when they leave later. 😀

May 25, 2016 at 4:28 am

@kaka135/

If I am not wrong, you gotta be 37 years old by now.

I remembered you had mentioned that your boy is 7 years old, right?

I had my first daughter at age 24, yes much younger than you.

My daughter is working now, she had completed her diploma and is going to further her studies in degree, part-time in singapore.

It takes a lot of hardship and effort to raise kids these days

Unlike our days, my parents do not care much about our studies, whether what we planned for our future, etc.

In order to become parents, it is wise to think ahead of the future.

Who to take care of your kids, what is the mother tongue of the household, where to study, who rules at home, how do parents work together to get kids listen, what should we do when kids are not listening to us.

raising kids needed commitment and love. However, many parents are focused too much on working hard for money and allowed money to entertain their kids plus getting a maid to look over them.

That is a sad scenerio

May 25, 2016 at 7:22 am

I think it just depends on where you are with your life really. The right age I think is relative to the person or couple. Maturity helps and having a steady income is especially important.  I had my first child at age 33 and my second one at age 34. My children are 15 months apart and I am not sure that it was wise to have them like that, but what can you do now. Hindsight is 20/20 right?  I do not think I would have wanted to have them any later than I did nor was I able to have them earlier than that either. I do not think I would have been able to take care of my mother if I would have had children.

I definitely am lagging in the energy department and on some days my patience department goes on strike. But we make it through somehow. My daughter is not the talker but she used to be the singer. She would sing all the time, now it is mostly when she is by herself since she does not like people to hear her. My son however is the “why?” kid. Why, Why, Why, and Why? All day long, he is talking or making noise non stop and it can wear on you. Even now that he is 9 years old, he questions everything. I am not saying it is a bad thing, I love it, but I am running out of answers. I keep telling him I am not a walking encyclopedia. Good thing we have the internet.

@JoDee  Have a great time with your grandchildren. You are giving them memories that will last a lifetime.

May 25, 2016 at 10:53 am

@peachpurple Yes, I am already 37 years old, and I had my first child when I was 30. It’s good that you are still a young mother while your children are already grown up, but I think I would have still go through the same, even if I could go back. I think it’s just the perfect time for me to get ready to have children at that time.

Did you become a stay-at-home mom when your first child was born?

I would like to spend more time with my children, not just care about their studies, but also their well being and development, hence I decided to quit my full time job and take care of them on my own. Kids grow up very fast, I wouldn’t want to miss any of them. 🙂

@morgoodie I laughed when I read your son is the “why?” kid. My son is like that too. I always told him, I don’t know, we will write down the question and find it out later. Yes, thankfully we have Internet now, it’s so much easier for us.

May 25, 2016 at 12:06 pm

@morgoodie/

my son is 9 years old now.

Yup , he has the super WHY questions and that’ s not it.

After I answered the first questions, he will link to another questions until I ran out of answers.

But I knew that he was making fun of me because he was smiling.

which means, he had understood the first answer.

Yup moms are not the walking dictionary nor encyclopedia, giving the wrong answer was the worst part of being the first person to answer.

He absorbs your first answer, and the only one. Do you ever noticed that he doesn’t accept your 2nd answer after that?

Most kids have the natural instinct that only mommy could answer my question, nobody else could, isn’t it?

Daddy gets so jealous that he felt left out in the family….

May 25, 2016 at 12:13 pm

@kaka135/

YES!!

My guess was right!

You really quit your job after delivering your first child?

Nope I didn’t quit until I had my 2nd child.

My FIL took care of my daughter after she was born.

My MIL ran off to care of her own daughter’s kids who were older than mine.

Hence, my daughter is much closer to ah gong than ah ma.

When I had my son, I quit my job and took care of my son because my FIl health was failing.

He passed away 2 years later after he had the big C.

MIL still didn’t take care of my son, she ran off to take care of her another daughter’s kids.

So,my son is very attached to me like a leech!

You can presume that my MIL didn’t do her job as a grandmother.

That doesn’t matter because my kids are not attach to her at all. They don’t even missed her when she is not staying with us.

Yes, I agree with you that after 9 years of taking care of my son, we had been through trials and tears, our bonding became stronger than anything else.

I guess that the 3 little pigs couldn’t blow us down either!

May 25, 2016 at 6:28 pm

@peachpurple  Yep my son keeps asking questions and sometimes after I answer them he wants to take it further. I can answer some of them without problem but he can delve too deeply and then my knowledge about the subject gets lesser. That is when I tell him to look it up or to ask someone who knows more about it.  For example: The other day we took our dog to the vet to get her checked for heartworm and get her medicine to prevent it. She also had something wrong with her one ear so the vet checked that out.

Well my ever curious son starts asking me questions when the vet was out of the room getting medicine and such. So I tell him to ask the vet. He wanted to know about heartworms and if the model on the desk was what they looked like. My dog’s ear problem was a yeast infection which is the most common type of ear infection for dogs. So my son questioned the vet about that. He also asked the vet what is the strongest dog and what makes a terrier a terrier. I have to give kudos to the vet since he was pretty busy for answering all my son’s questions.

@kaka135 If I cannot answer the question, I will now tell my son to look it up on the internet sine he is old enough to do that now. Before it seemed that we would run out of time before we could get around to looking things up, so it makes it much easier now that he can do it himself. I love that he is so curious and wants to  learn so much about everything. He reminds me of myself except I don’t remember asking so many questions. 🙂

June 1, 2016 at 10:57 pm

In my opinion I do not think there’s a certain age where you have children, but any would be all in good time.

Yet although I do not have kids yet, I dream I can have a baby as soon as possible, though lately I think more about life we lead us and I really want to have a future as good.

A grandmother with many grandchildren and a mother with many children, is the most beautiful thing we can have.

June 12, 2016 at 5:54 pm

I think everybody has his own path, and his own experiences, that’s why it’s difficult to tell a number. My answer is: whenever a person is ready to have children, that’s the best timing. Well, with age it becomes more difficult for women, but that’s how it is.

June 19, 2016 at 1:40 pm

I am not married yet. I think getting married doesn’t require for age limit. Of course, we have to consider the legal age. If a couple wanted to have their own children, then they should be ready for responsibility and be a good parent.

June 4, 2017 at 8:40 am

I guess it depends on if its something we really want to do at that time becuz in reality if your in your 40’s and 50’s then that’s really to late to be having kids if your in your 30’s still and your having them then kudos to you. I have babies right now and I had both of them in my 30’s but I have alot of patient. You just got to when to stop and am quiet sure it will be when ur ready.

June 4, 2017 at 11:29 pm

Hi there, glad I become a member here. Honestly, I never make any arguments with my wife. I’m a type of guy that use to just explaining things in a respectful manners. If my wife doesn’t understand my point for a moment, I will not insist to her what I know is right. I will just leave a room or a space for her to ponder upon the words I have said and same things to I am doing to myself. I am not a perfect husband of course because I have lots of flaws but what I do understand is that–in a relationship both of you should be given a chance to express your thoughts and feelings so that both of you can come up for a better understanding of why things happened the way you don’t want it to happen. For me, marriage and relationship is a shared accountability. As the old saying goes “It takes two to tango.” Be happy everyone 🙂

June 6, 2017 at 1:55 pm

I too feel that it depends entirely on the couple as to when they want to have children since the responsibility of raising kids falls on both. I have seen that older mothers are a lot more tolerant while dealing with their children.

June 10, 2017 at 8:54 am

I think it depends on the couple when they want to have kids, at what age they are ready to care for their next generation, but there is a limit, best time to have kids is between 25 to 30 years, as before 25 it is too early and after 30 it is too late.