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Teenagers Locked Themselves In the Room. Why??
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Sometimes, I just couldn’t apprehend the fact that this is the TREND. Most teenagers do lock themselves in the room for many reasons.
When I was a teenager, I NEVER had my own room. I had to share my bedroom with my mom. My younger brother with my dad. Our home had 2 bedrooms, so it is inconvenient for me and my bro to stay together in the same bedroom. Hence, I NEVER had my own privacy. There is no way I can do hanky panky stuff either. Now, being a mom of a teenager and a school age kid, my teenager had her own room. She locked herself in her room which she said, she needed PRIVACY. OK, I understand that all growing up teens needed some space. However, why does she have to lock herself instead of just closing the door or just leaving a small gap open?
Are your teenagers behaving this way? Have you ever behaved this way when you were a teenager? Why??!!
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With all the gadgets and everything and as you said hanky panky, they are dealing with something private of their own. I never lock myself too because I am sharing my room with my siblings. We do not have doors, we have a divider and the divider does not have a lock. I cannot have my privacy at home and how I wish I have it when I was young. Me, when a teenager have to lock themselves in their room it means they are hiding something. It is privacy yes, but being a parent, we should solve this issue and tell our kids that should not do that. With all the suicidal attempts of teenagers because they feel alone, one should learned from it and become devoted with their children. It sound easy in words, but never in action but we all have something to do with this for sure. |
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you got a point there sis. It is easier to say than to be done. My hubby and I tried talking to our teenager. Asking her why she had to lock herself in the room. She said she needed privacy and hated when someone just barge into her room without knocking the door. My son does that daily. Already told him not to do that because it is “no manners” and disrespect her. He wouldn’t care. Anyway, we did talk to her often when it is dinner, she is OK, sometimes depressed over projects, friendship, no relationship yet. No suicide symptoms , no eating disorder yet , no insomnia. It just just that she doesn’t like anyone to barge in her room when she is watching Youtube, listening to her favorite song and sleeping on the bed with her own “patterns”, you wouldn’t want to know…. I do remind her now and then, don’t lock the door because who knows if anything happens at home, she can’t hear with the ear plugs stucked in her ears, right???
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When I was a teenager, I used to shut myself in my bedroom or down in the basement all of the time. I was basically a loner and I liked to be alone. I think as a teenager you are trying to distance yourself from your parents because you are trying to create a sense of independence and can only be that way when you are away from everyone. Teens do not think that parents understand them and feel that being around parents is lame. I was sometimes embarrassed about being around my parents even though I loved them, but that was just how I was. Teenagers are like aliens, in my opinion because they are so different and we just do not know much about them even if they are our own children. I am not looking forward to this age with mine for sure. |
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I think it’s really not easy to be a parent to a teenaged child. I always think it’s challenging. Frankly speaking, I totally did not remember, but my younger sister told me I always locked myself in the room when I was in high school. I shared the room with my younger sister, and as I was staying in the hostel during high school, she didn’t get to see me very often. So, she’d like to go into the room and talk or play with me, but I was always busy with my homework or studies in the room, and even locked the door sometimes, so she couldn’t go in. We didn’t have mobile phone or computer in those days, so I just studied or did homework in the room. I guess I just needed some quiet time and space for myself, and not to be disturbed by others. My mom could actually call me easily from outside, as there’s a window, so she did not worry for me locking myself in the room at all. Moreover, she understood I need to study, as I was quite stressed in the first year when I went to high school. Of course, I do not know what your daughter is doing in the room, but she might just need some quiet time for herself, especially when you said your son was disturbing her. Sometimes, teenaged girl might just need more privacy than a boy does. Do you have a spare key for the room? In case of any emergency. |
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thanks for your share. Yes we do have a spare key to her room. But we never use it because she does open the door when we knocked it louder. She can’t hear with the ear plug in her ears. Otherwise, she would be sleeping but awakens easily with the slightest knock. If I am not wrong , she learned to lock herself in the room when she saw what my brother-in-law did in the past. You see, he stayed with us and mom in law. He always locked himself in the room after breakfast, lunch and dinner. His room is his world. He hated when anyone of us walked into his room without asking for his permission. He doesn’t want anyone to touch his things either. He cleaned up his room. So, my daughter had to knock the door when she needed his help on homework. The door is always locked. We never ever lock our door! |
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@morgoodie/ I guessed that different teens in different part of the world behaves differently. But you are right, feeing like an alien with parents is one reason. That makes the parents feel distant with the teen. Hence, it is up to parents to try to enhance the teen -parent bonding. At least you had basement. Our house had 2 bedrooms and one toilet. Ours was a single storey house, no basement, no attic, no balcony, not even a parking lot. So, I had nowhere to hide, not even under the bed. I was sleeping on the mattress, on the cold floor. My teenager is lucky to have her own room. I just hope that she would try to communicate with us when she is feeling down. Don’t bottle up inside.
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