May 17, 2016 at 5:43 pm

If you have kids, what kind of parent do you think you are?

If you are (for example and figuratively) the same age as your kids, do you think your kids will be friends with you?

If you will punish your child for something he or she did which really disappointed you, what punishment will you give and why?

May 17, 2016 at 6:03 pm

I an very strict when it comes to behaviour like telling lies, using bad words, pushing, pulling or fighting and being disrespectful in general but I am very happy to say Alhamdulillah that all 4 of my children are very well behaved in general.

They are not angels nor do I expect them to be but no one in my house uses four letter words or is mean or rude for which I am eternally grateful to Allah.

I am rather strict about studies too because I think brains are meant to be used. My children are avid readers and participate in a lot of extra curricular activities and win lots of prizes in spelling bee, essay writing and math quiz etc.

Other than these rules, I am there for my children 24/7. I play games with them, be silly with them, take them to parks, feed them lots of ice-creams and generally celebrate each and every small thing they accomplish.

May 18, 2016 at 10:37 am

I’d like to think that I am a good mom to my kids because I have literally gave up a chance to become successful on my chosen field to become a stay at home mom. Do I have regrets? Sometimes, but that is when I think of not hasving enough to provide for their needs. Being a stay at home mom, though did not stop me from trying to earn for them.

Becausr of my frustrations, sometimes I get too sensitive that I raise my voice and just get mad at them. I cry at night when it happens. I just hope they will understand that I love them so much that I didnt want any other person to look after them than myself.

May 18, 2016 at 10:52 am

I suspect that if I were their age, my kids wouldn’t think I was very cool. But as their mother, I know they think I’m cool.

We are very clear that I’m the parent, not the buddy. But I also allow them a lot of autonomy, and involve them in decision making that affects them.

They know they can talk to me about anything at all, and will even bring their friends home to talk to me because they respect my open mind and ability to put things into perspective.

May 18, 2016 at 11:04 am

@jentleheart I guess all of us have that moments, though we didn’t want to get angry with our lovely children, sometimes we just did. That’s why I keep learning and practicing gentle or peaceful parenting. I still get angry with them sometimes especially when I am busy with my freelance work or overwhelmed, but I have to say I have made good improvement, even my elder son told me that. I always apologize, hug and talk to them after I have calmed down, and I am glad both of my children understood me. 🙂

@dawnwriter I guess as parents, we are always strict at certain areas but we are quite lenient at certain areas as well. I think children, especially young children still need our guidance, hence they will grow up to be a responsible and caring individual. I am sure your children behave very well because of you. 🙂

I think kids always like silly mom to play with them. I am sure you have good relationship with your kids, and they surely love spending time with you. 🙂

May 18, 2016 at 4:59 pm

I think I am a good mom, though I know I am not good enough, I am still learning to be a more mindful, joyful and gentle mom. I never spank or hit my children, but I have to confess that I do get angry with them and scold them sometimes, especially when I am overwhelmed or too sick. So, this is something I really need to learn.

I quit my job before my elder son turned 2, I have planned for it after he was born. I am really grateful for being a stay at home mom, and my son appreciates that as well. My two children really love spending time with me, I do not think they want to be my friends, but they surely want me to be their mom.

There are some areas I am very strict especially when they are still young: no TV, very minimal computer time, no junk food or candies, no fighting or hurting. I explained the reasons for not allowing them to do so.

Besides the strict rules, I am actually quite lenient. I always told them kids’ main job is to PLAY! So I let them play a lot, and play with them a lot too. They actually learn a lot while playing, and I always like this statement “Let the kids be kids“.

I can’t think of any punishment I gave to my children, I do not like punishment. Perhaps my anger is already the biggest punishment, though I do not want it. I believe we can talk nicely to the children and they will understand and learn better.

May 19, 2016 at 11:41 am

@kaka135/

@ruby3881/

@jentleheart/

@dawnwriter/

all of you are great moms!

It is not easy being a 24/7 mom around the clock.

being a first time parent, we all learned through hardship, trials and mistakes in order to improve our parenting skills.

Each of us has different parenting style, there isn’t any rules that says whose is right or wrong.

From what I had read your comments, you all did the right thing, be strict with behavior, attitude and verbal attitude at home and outside.

Hugs and kisses are the perfect gift to compliment them.

Spanking doesn’t work now, unlike in my old days.

id your mom ever spank you when you were young?

Are they bad parents?

Nope, all parents have their reasons to spank in the past.

maybe they do not know how to communicate with us when we were young.

At least right now, our children are under our wings.

Aren’t we alike mother hens hovering our wings over our chicks ( children )?

thanks for sharing

May 19, 2016 at 1:20 pm

@peachpurple I agree with you. I do not really think parents are bad, no matter what parenting style they are using, it might just be different from us. Moreover, I think we also need to consider each child’s personality or temperament, and we might guide them differently too. I believe most parents love their children and are trying to do the best they can for the children. (I wanted to say all, but I can’t say, because I have heard some really did not love the child and abandoned the child.)

I agree that we all learn through our experience in our parenting journey, same as our parents too. That’s why though I do not always agree with my parents’ ways, I am still grateful for them and appreciate what they have taught and guided me. They have always been learning and trying to provide us the best that they can, and do what they think are right. I do the same as well, it’s just that I might use different way. 🙂

May 19, 2016 at 1:42 pm

I have two children that are seven years apart. When my oldest was growing up, I was very strict on him. Maybe even overly strict at times. He did get a few spankings along the way, but never anything severe. However, he was a bit of a handful at the time and I really did not know any other way to be. I was only 21 when he was born, so I was learning to be a mom as I was raising him like most first time moms do.

By the time my daughter came along, I had mellowed out a great deal. She was also a much calmer child and very soft hearted, still is actually. I think I may have lightly swatted her fanny all of two times that I can remember. Normally, I could raise my voice slightly and she knew to perk up and listen to me.

My kids are now 14 and 21. My son just got married in April to a wonderful young lady. I am very proud of the fine people they have become. I may have done a few things wrong when raising them, but I honestly feel I did a lot of things right too. They are both caring individuals and I would want to know them even if I was not their mother.

If I were my son’s age, I do not know if he would think I’m cool or not. I guess it would depend on where he knew me from. If we worked together or were neighbors, I am sure we would get along fine. His wife is like a daughter to me and we are very good friends, so I am sure we would be good friends if I were 21 like her.

If I were 14 like my daughter, she would probably be my best friend. We are a lot alike and we get each other’s personality. We like many of the same things and she is just such a loving soul that I know she would be as kind to me as she is to her other friends.

If they do something that disappoints me now, I normally have a talk with them about it and explain why it disappoints me. Although, sometimes my teenager gets her phone taken away for a day or so depending on what she did.

I hope that I have had a positive impact on my children and have made them better people. I know they have had an amazing impact on me and have made me a better person.

May 19, 2016 at 1:59 pm

If you have kids, what kind of parent do you think you are?

– I am a very giving and lenient parent, practically I live for my kid.

If you are (for example and figuratively) the same age as your kids, do you think your kids will be friends with you?

– No, we are completely different and I don’t think I would like to play with my kid if I were her age.

If you will punish your child for something he or she did which really disappointed you, what punishment will you give and why?

– She hates when I toss her across my shoulder and literary drag her home for being terrible and out of place. She hates to hear I will cut her hair short so I use that as well.

May 21, 2016 at 1:35 pm

When I got married, I need a job to support my wife and I was still studying in college at that time. we lived in my own parent’s house. We’d a separate bedroom as a couple. We got our first kid. We’re too excited. I did my father’s role perfectly when I graduated and landed a job in the bank.