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2. Please remember that abusive people get more abusive and not less over time. 3. Forgiveness does not mean you return to a dangerous situation. 4. A person who has threatened or tried to kill you has broken their marriage vow. 5. Everyone has a right not to live in fear or remain safe.
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This is really a horrible story. Tita, why don’t you engage a detective in reporting the movements of this person along with evidence? I think it will help you. Your parents are good. They sent you back along with your children to lead a family life. There must be something wrong with him. He must be under the influence of Drugs or there must be some other reason for his behavior. Otherwise, persons do not get angry like that. First, you contact some good astrologer and take his opinion as to what is this due to. When the doctors and the science can not solve a certain problem in life we must seek for alternatives. My wife does not feel happy whenever she sees me. She talks either nonsense or plans something that irritates me. I told her why does she talk like that. She does not show interest in her family matters. She is not interested in taking care of her children and do not talk to them nicely. When they reach home she prepares something casually and keeps it on the Dining Table. She behaves as if she lost something. I even questioned her directly. But, she says nothing like that. Children always see my getting angry only. I too have changed myself and trying to maintain silence keenly observing her moments. She is more interested in her father, her brother, and sisters than her own family. When sister constructed a house she feels happy and visits her and even helps her. The moment she returns home she becomes as usual. I contacted a psychologist and other doctors. They say to bring her to them. I took her after convincing her a lot. They checked up and said there is nothing wrong with her. Unexpectedly, I happened to meet an astrologer. He just saw her face and informed me separately that she has been given some herbal drug. It is controlling her. Even before I could tell he has given a clear picture of her behavior. He even told me that this is the work of her father, unmarried elder sister, and her brother. They wanted to keep her with them as she learns something and works hard. Her father also known some magic spells and he also engaged him to spoil our family as his son does not take care of him. I felt very sorry for her. Still, I am contacting many Tantriks who can find some solution for this problem. They are all for money only. Even after spending some money I could not get any result. It has become an unending problem for me the solution for which the only solution is to wait for time. | |
Actually I have no word to say hearing this horrible story! How could she feel when her beloved hurt her, I just can’t imagine. Husband is a prime factor of any woman’s life. Neither she can take revenge nor can leave him. How helpless situation is! But I just advice you as one of your well-wisher, take some mental preparation to punish him anyway. I know the way is not so easy to you, still you have to try. If you can’t your own, then take other’s help, take your parent’s help, take any NGO’s help or lastly take legal help. Take care… May God save you always! | |
@jacky hughes, thanks dont worry he is stiil on watch everyday. thats all I can say. thanks guys | |
I think regardless of gender this is horrible experience to be into. I am sure there are people who like to avoid being into this sort of situation. I have seen people who have such fear and they make a mess of things as well. I guess with time a lot of things can be fixed. But you have to work harder if you were to be doing regular effort. Another thing is that we have to form safe society around us. So we have to tackle situation the way things around us become more positive and not turn something wrong. | |
@mahesh, yes you are correct because that was one of the reason the pastor told us when we had our counseling. And at the time when my husband got that problem that was the time he suddenly changes. maybe because of what surrounds him at work and he doesn’t go to church that time. This time he make more effort to win my trust back. I will give him the chance. If God can forgive me then why cant I too. | |
@barnalisarkar, No I will never take revenge for it is written in the Bible that that is the Duty of the Lord which says He will take revenge for her/his son and daughter. His and my parents are working together with the pastor for our counseling and that really helps a lot for me moving to the stage of forgiving my husband. Thanks a lot. | |
@sivasubrahmanyam, did you have some misunderstanding in the past to make her act like that? Maybe she can’t tell you the reason because sometimes, us women, we cant just tell whats inside or what we feel thinking it will be wrong or not pleasing to our husbands ear. Maybe if you will take her to church also it would help a lot. In our situation, my husband is negative from drugs when we requested one after what he did. | |
I felt sorry for you @Tita because of what your husband did to you, but I salute you for being a strong woman. I know that your situation is very hard and all I can do for you is a prayer for you to overcome challenges with your husband. If one of my family do that to me, I think I can’t take the pain that will cause in my heart. | |
@NEMZIE, yes at first it really struck my heart knowing that he is my husband. But today I”m still learning to forgive and forget. It’s very hard because I don’t know if he really loved me from the start. one of my friend in the church told me that anyone can and will change through prayers and by faith which is and truly is the strongest tool of all. By the way from where are you in the Philippines? You are very familiar. I don’t know if where and when did I saw your face. If one of your family would do that to you, let me tell you…. YOU WILL BE SURPRISED!!!.. thinking that you think you know them, well it’s not. | |
With that kind of situation, I agree that prayer is the strongest tool for defense. I am from Baguio. And I certain you are from Baguio too? If I am not mistaken. | |
@nemzie, yes you are certainly right that in this kind of situation I’m into the only thing I rely the most which is prayer and my desire for him to be uplifted from what he did. I’m from Baguio also. Your family name sound familiar that’s why I asked about it. Lucky I found a fellow Igorot freelancing. By the way this incident was happened last April 2016 four months after giving birth to my son. Some say it was a paternity postpartum that changed him but I laughed when I heard that because most affected by postpartum is the mother who gives birth and seldom from men. If I’m not mistaken. | |
@tita I hope things are going better, no one should ever have to go through what you have experienced. I will be keeping you in my prayers, that you stay happy and safe. I know it is not easy to walk away from someone you Love, but if your life is in danger it is more important to stay alive and walk away than to keep those around you happy by staying with him, if it gets dangerous I know you will have the courage to walk away and start an amazing life without him. One with no fear and so much happiness. “At any given moment you have the power to say: This is not how the Story is going to end.” | |
In india killing and betrayal by close relatives has become increasingly common since 2005, with the all powerful indian intelligence and security agencies allegedly involved. It started with the killing of a high profile BJP politician Pramod Mahajan, by his younger brother Pravin Mahajan, and there are many similar incidents which are taking place all over india, which are not reported by the mainstream media. | |
@tracy, thank you for your prayer. yes it is always very hard to find it in my heart to forgive but as our older friends, relatives and our pastor as well as our sponsors in the wedding., They told me to give him another chance since it was the only thing I could do to change and help him from the things he did. Maybe those words now are being effective seeing him change for the better. But if the time comes that he will do that again, I would never ever say a word and fight back whatever happens but luckily by prayers we are good so far. It was a year and 2 monthhs already friend. I just wanted to read what others could do if it was them on my foot. Thank you. |
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