July 5, 2016 at 12:14 pm

Family members should live in harmony and peacefully, always helping each other in times of need of financial woes or relationship breakdown.

However, not in my in law’s family.

I really don’t understand why each of the 9 siblings had to feel jealousy over each other success or status.

They smirk with glee and gossip when someone is down instead of helping each other.

When one sibling had owned a new vehicle, the other 2 had to buy new model, bigger in size vehicle to “overshoot” the other.

Then, they will show off their vehicles to other siblings, lying about the vehicle price. For example, bought the car for $140k, he will claimed he bought it at $200k!!

When a niece had done well in her studies, went further studies for her degree, the other aunts, uncles and cousins would not congratulate her.

Instead, they are jealous of her success and planned to “overshoot” her by enrolling their own kids into “branded” college but end up unable to complete their studies because they weren’t interested in the courses.

In other words, those aunts and uncles could not loose face, used up their cash money to “save ” their pride.

Why can’t they ask “How did you do it? What is your secret?”

Why are there so much jealousy in the same family?

Can’t everyone be kind to each other, appreciate and praise ?

Why can’t they set good examples?

July 6, 2016 at 10:17 am

In my father side, they love seeing us be so down. They never tried to help or give assistance especially when my father died 2 years ago. Now, we are struggling to continue the family ties to them. What’s the reason of respecting them if we don’t exist in their eyes? It has been a dilemma and an old issue. They don’t feel happy seeing us in a good condition.

July 6, 2016 at 10:46 am

@peachpurple and @Shavkat, There is no jealousy built among members in our family.Our father was a retired military official and his strong disciple to me and my family siblings at home. If we show something malicious, he would let me and others stand straight and receive to whips each, so scary too.

July 6, 2016 at 12:59 pm

One cannot possibly be jealous of strangers. It is those who are close and specially family members are  watched and many cannot bear to see them taking over.

July 6, 2016 at 3:09 pm

@lovern My father is also a disciplinary man. There is no jealousy within his family. The jealous part that usually happened is in his siblings towards him. Now that he is gone and in good hands, my mother, siblings and I tried to keep the family together. We need to learn how are we going to deal the trials coming in out way without the help of my father’s siblings.

July 6, 2016 at 4:09 pm

@peachpurple, That is also bad for the relatives not congratulating their relatives for an achievement done.They must be proud of their nieces or nephews seen graduating or finishing a course.It feels like hurting.There must be a relative to initiate change,or else this kind of attitude will be brought to the next generation.

July 6, 2016 at 5:13 pm

I guess this is just competition among the siblings not many siblings would be happy with the one who is doing well even though they turn out to be better they just don’t want to be seen as the lessor one and this is very common especially in big families. everyone wants to be on the top no one wants to be lower than the other and this brings a lot of conflict and hatred which can be very dangerous.

July 7, 2016 at 2:44 pm

@Shavkat, We sometimes want  our relatives to help us, but they also count so better be helping each other at home without them.In your case, it was your father who left first and the strong pillar,but life must go on.