When is perfect time to break up.that is one of most difficult question.but there are the sign that should tell you it is time for break up.
The road to a fulfilling, enduring relationship is
almost always littered with a few attempts that
turned out to be unfulfilling and unenduring.
That’s what dating is all about: finding out if two
people have the qualities and compatibility to
sustain a relationship over the long haul.
Sometimes you don’t have to question whether
you have good reasons to —you just
know it’s time. But other times you’re not so
sure. You find yourself wondering, ‘should I break
up with him (or her)?’ ‘Should I hang in there and
give it a chance?’ or ‘Should I move on so I
don’t squander precious time and energy?’
What are the right reasons to break up with
someone you once cared deeply about?
You’re at a crossroads, trying to decide what to
do, working hard at make sense in your own
head about what you want. Feelings are our
gauge of well-being. When we feel negative
emotion—sad, discouraged, uptight, frustrated,
angry, or dissatisfied— we can know
instantaneously that something isn’t right. And
when we feel joy, quiet calm, free, happy,
content, and pleased or thrilled, we can also
know instantaneously something is exactly right.
The challenge in relationships—and in the task of
knowing when to break up with someone—is that
each day and with each interaction there is the
potential for our feelings to shift up or down.
That’s why it’s important to pay attention to the
patterns in the relationship. If, over the course, of
time the daily blips are repeated and repeated,
and your negative feelings continue, then there’s
a pattern you might want to be concerned with.
Here are 12 clear reasons to break up with
someone:
1. You’re simply not happy.
This is a great place to start. Someone who is
dating the right person consistently enjoys the
relationship and feels a general sense of
happiness. It’s not that they wouldn’t argue or be
upset with their partner occasionally; even the
healthiest couples do that. And it’s not there
wouldn’t be times when a person in a good
relationship would get down or struggle
emotionally at some level. But generally
speaking, a person who is in the right
relationship is going to be happy. So if you find
yourself wondering whether you should break up,
frequently, then that’s a fairly clear sign that this
may not be the best person for you. And those
are among the reasons to break up with your
boyfriend or girlfriend.
2.You’re doubting everything—big time.
It’s natural and healthy to evaluate a relationship
at critical steps, but don’t ignore those nagging
concerns that are trying to tell you something. As
a general rule, voices inside you are there for a
purpose—and they might be encouraging you of
the good reasons to break up. Sometimes,
something within us is whispering (or even
screaming) that we’re dating the wrong person,
presenting the signs of a breaking relationship. If
this is the case for you, then one of the worst
things you can do is to ignore that voice. Give it
free reign and let it direct you to the conclusion
you may have already come to.
3.You can’t figure out a way to work it out.
One of the greatest reasons to break up is
simple: you can’t come up with any other
solution. As you’re wondering whether or not to
break up — consider asking yourself another
question: ‘Can you two work it out, and do you
want to? Is there anything about this relationship
that’s worth salvaging? Even if you’re still unsure
about your commitment to the relationship, try to
pursue healthy conflict resolution. Talk about
your concerns, voice your needs, and apologize
for your role in the current situation. Listen to
your partner and respect how he/she is feelingIf
you can resolve—or at least calmly address—
conflict, you can better assess the future
direction of your relationship. But if you can’t
keep your cool? It might one of the surefire
reasons to break up with someone.
4. You don’t think you’ll regret it.
One way how to know when to break up is to
consider the consequences. Deep down, do you
believe you’re giving up too quickly? Do you still
believe, deep down, that he’s ‘ ’? One of
the good reasons to break up with your boyfriend
is to be very honest about how you feel toward
him—and how you would feel without him.
Remember, regret is not the same things as
‘feeling bad.’ Of course you’ll hate to hurt your
partner’s feelings, and will be sad to end
something you once hoped would last a lifetime.
Regret, however, is painful disappointment in
yourself for missing out on something that could
have been good. If you don’t think you’ll think
back and wish you made a different decision, you
probably have one foot already out the door.
5. You wonder about what else is out there.
It’s normal to have occasional doubts and
questions about the long-term prospects of your
partnership, but don’t ignore the warning signs if
those thoughts become increasingly frequent. It’s
not always the case that a person is wrong
because of some sort of character flaw or
personal defect. One of the signs of a failing
relationship is when you are dating one person
but secretly wishing you were with somebody
else. It could be that it’s an ex you’re still
carrying a torch for. Or maybe it’s someone else
in your life you wish you could be with.
Regardless, reasons to break up with someone
include if you are constantly (or even frequently)
wishing you were dating a different person, then
that’s a sure-fire sign that your current
relationship is not all it should be.6. You don’t feel good about yourself.
Sure, everyone will have doubts and insecurities,
and they may even deal with some bigger
questions about themselves. But the time they
spend with their partner will make them feel
better about themselves, not worse. In contrast, if
your partner exacerbates your self doubts and
undermines your confidence, then that’s a major
red flag that this is not a good person for you to
be in a relationship with. You want someone who
affirms and celebrates the great things about you,
not someone who wrecks your self confidence
and torpedoes your every attempt at growth.
Reasons to break up with someone might derive
from a very pivotal part of yourself that is, well,
unhappy.
7. Your friends are encouraging you to end it.
Truth be told, you’re not just wondering about
reasons to break up with your boyfriend in your
head, but you’re seeking the help of your besties.
If the people you trust and are closest to feel
that you’ve found a good catch and therefore
encourage the relationship, that’s a good sign
that you two may belong together. On the other
hand, if the people who love you the most are
begging you to get away from someone, then
that person’s probably not the one for you. Of
course, sometimes your friends and family may
choose someone for you who isn’t a great
match. In these cases, it’s not always wise to
follow their advice. But if they are the people you
trust the most and who know you best, and they
are urging you to get out of your current
relationship, then you owe it to yourself to give
their advice a serious listen.
8. The cons outweigh the pros.
A cost-benefit analysis can be helpful in
situations other than at the office. Sit down for a
few minutes and write down the advantages of
continuing to date the person you are with. Then
list the disadvantages. What are the good
reasons to break up? The bad ones? When you
compare the lists, you might determine that the
reasons to stay together are more compelling
than the reasons to break up. But if the opposite
appears to be the case, that’s how you know it’s
time to call time on the relationship.
9. Your partner’s emotional health is suspect.
No quality is more essential to the success of a
relationship than emotional health. If the person
you’re dating is self-absorbed, paranoid, overly
defensive, easily angered, or anything else that
indicates an emotional health deficit, that’s one
of the strongest reasons to break up with
someone. To be in a healthy relationship, you
need two people who are fully functioning and
ready to commit on every level. When one half of
your twosome isn’t up for the challenge, it’s not
worth the effort. After all, attitude speaks
volume. Does your partner consistently
demonstrate honesty, integrity, trustworthiness,
and responsibility? If so, that’s a sign of strong
character. If not, look out. The tendency toward
deceitfulness and dishonesty has a way of
spilling over into many areas of life.
10. Your values differ.
If you’re wondering about good reasons to break
up, here’s a big one: your perspective on life
doesn’t match, in any way. Values are the
principles that guide the way we live and make
decisions. The list of values is nearly endless:
honesty, generosity, volunteerism, animal rights,
compassion toward the poor, and so on. If you
and your partner differ radically on any one major
value — or several less significant ones —
conflict is inevitable.If you are deeply spiritual
and your partner has little interest in spiritual
matters, the two of you are sure to encounter a
barrier that separates you. When this happens,
you will experience intense frustration and
disappointment.
11. You don’t communicate well.
Intimacy for two people requires the sharing of
their deepest feelings, thoughts, dreams, and
fears. If you and your partner have a significantly
different level of desire for heartfelt
communication, the relationship will surely suffer.
As one of the most common reasons to break
up, inability to be on the same page—and take
the ebbs and flows that will naturally come—can
sever your bond. In solid relationships, two
people learn to manage their conflicts thoroughly
and efficiently so that harmony prevails most of
the time. Relationships fall apart when conflicts
occur and seldom, if ever, get resolved.
12. You’re lying to yourself.
We’ve all been there: we know something is true,
but we just can’t bring ourselves to see it or
admit it. Maybe you don’t want to believe
something negative about your partner, or you
want to ignore the fact that all you two ever do is
argue when you’re together. Whatever the actual
issue, one of the signs of a breaking relationship
is when you are working hard to deny facts about
your relationship that you know to be true. Like
what? The gut feeling that he’s simply not right
for you. That’s one of the most important
reasons to break up with your boyfriend.