Often we have to deal with the problem – people very quickly get offended. Surprisingly, this thing for adult humans has become so common, that they consider that the resentment is normal and even somehow good. The boss said the note due to poor work – worker offended, someone said that you look tired – you get offended. It seems that people are only accepted praises and the criticism is something for which you need to show displeasure and begin to complain to others. After all, these people educate their children, forbidding, criticizing, scolding them, but when they hear criticism for themselves get offended.
When I started asking people why they are offended, so the argument was that someone humbles them and they are not going to put up with that. However, it sounds really funny, because usually other people tolerate them with all their insults and their incompetence and demonstrations of discontent. It seems that the same team, but one is constantly humiliated, while others do not. So where is the problem?
There is no any secret – when a man allows himself to be offended, and it seems that he get insulted by everyone. But in reality it’s just his problem. He imagines himself by little child’s eyes and it seems that all prejudiced against him, that no one will understand, everyone wants to hurt him. Such people feel sorry for themselves and become victims in their mind and in the eyes of surrounding. However, the surrounding usually does not realize that the man is constantly resentful and compiles daily grievances. And yet, most do not even realize how you cannot get offended when you are insulted. But there is no point for accumulating grievances.
What this going on in our minds, why it seems to us that it is impossible to become resistant for insult.
Self love. Someone did not do as we expected, did not appreciate us the way we think we deserved. But we really know what we are worth, how we can to forgive those who fail to see that? Here we start torture ourselves with thoughts trying to scold offender, trying to convince ourselves that we were right and wonderful, and the other does not understand anything and yet dare to show it publicly. Is it worth it to convince ourselves what is so clear? We know our value, regardless of what the others say or believe, it remains the same for us.
In any case, we are engaged in wasteful self-torture. If you are sure of yourself and your actions, just say that it is regrettable that the offender thinks in this way or you are sorry that you did not understand one another. Stop trying to prove something to someone.
And one more thing – people are more likely to think about themselves and their problems or life, rather than creating a conspiracy theory against the others. Usually no one think about how to go here now and will offend someone. Just they do not think what say or we interpret their words not what they meant.
The pride. If you manage to give up on your grandeur feeling and look at the other person as a human being, you will notice that the one did not want to say nothing wrong about you as he has right to have own opinion. Say: yes, you’re right; you have the right to think; I accept your opinion and your approach, although perhaps it is different from mine.
Sometimes too great pride obscures the eyes. Man thinks that no one has a right to behave or speak about him in a way he does not like. But remember, everyone has the right to do as they wish, without prejudice to the law. So, if someone is badly brought up and it seems normal to speak as he speaks, he has the right to do so. Also, people have a right to distaste you, to hate and tell you that. And you had nothing to do with it, it’s just the way of this human, go away and ignore it. Why waste time explaining what is right and what not. There will be a lot of headache, but no sense.
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