Many parents had been pondering over this question:
To spank or not to spank your kids?
Although it is a dinosaur age question, that had been lingering for thousands of years, before the modern technology was born, spanking children was nothing new to parents especially during our grandmothers’ days.
Reasons my mother spank me
During my childhood days, my mother used to spank me and my younger brother when we were mischievous, unreasonable, stubborn, disrespectful, disobedient and making mistakes over and over again.
Back then, she used 2 rods ( cane) which are sold in grocery shop for a few cents. So, she would buy a big bundle, kept them at home in case the rods went missing.
My mother has a bad temper, her anger management is uncontrollable. That is why she often vent her anger on us, children when we make mistakes.
When we were mischievous, she would slapped our body parts ( arms, legs, shoulders, faces)
When we were stubborn, unreasonable or disobedient, she would use the cane to spank us without any warning, not a chance was given.
Hence, my brother and I thought of dozens of plans to get rid of the rods but new rods would appear the next few days because they were cheap ad easy to buy at that time.
Reasons Not to Spank Your Child
Most parents spank their children in a fit of anger without realizing the damages done on them, both physically and emotionally.
As you had read about my experience about spanking, I am sure that you had endure those spanking rods too and understood the emotional feelings that was hurt , humiliated and embedded in your memory forever.
Physically, you had been scarred, felt the pain and abused.
I would strongly oppose to spank your child , regardless of reasons.
Even if you had to spank your child, DO NOT DO IT IN THE PUBLIC.
Please spare a thought of your child’s feelings and pride.
- Leaves scars on the body parts, might inflict wounds that would produce scars embedded into the skin
- Hurt the child’s feelings and pride
- Induce anger, hatred and revenge in your child
- Counter attack parents by fighting back with fists or objects
- Answer back parents with vulgar words or hurting words
- Unable to understand why he was spank, not knowing the reasons behind the beatings
- Do not use your child as the punching bag to vent out your anger and frustration
- Your child will follow your footsteps in the near future. When your child becomes a parent, he will spank his children too, which is your own grandchildren.
- Family bonding and relationship worsen, break down communication in between the family.
- Feeling ashamed to acknowledge parents in front of his friends
- Negative feedback about parenting
- Seek compassion and help from friends instead of parents.
In Asian countries, most uneducated parents or low qualification parents are still spanking their own flesh and blood children in this modern era.
It is difficult to educate them that their wrong parenting concept on spanking kids because they had been brought up being spank by their parents too.
Hence, older folks point of view are stick in the mud.
Only the new generation of parents could make the changes.
Instead teach, guide, educate and talk to your children when they had angered you because they do not know or understand why parents are angry.
Do not use physical actions to teach children because it never will never work out.
photo taken by peachpurple
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