• Profile picture of Emmanuel

    Emmanuel posted an update in the group Group logo of Family & RelationshipsFamily & Relationships 9 months ago

    FACTS:if I am to say Tolerance Is Key To Building A Healthy
    Relationship
    How easy is it to say something nasty when you
    are agitated or tired? I think rather easily. The
    tongue tends to slip foul language when we are
    tired, overworked, stressed, or irritable.
    The issue in relationships is that regardless of how
    agitated, tired or overworked one is, the negative
    hurtful language should not take place. It simply
    creates chaos in relationships.
    The strategies that I touch on are the same that I
    teach in the Relationship Building Course CLICK
    HERE to explore how it can help your relationship.
    When working with couple’s in my counseling
    practice , I find that each partner has a tolerance
    level. Imagine that you are a character in a video
    game. The more energy that you have, the stronger
    off you are. The less energy you have, the weaker
    you are.
    In relationships, we need to do our best to monitor
    our individual level of tolerance in order to be our
    best self for our partner. When life gets in the way
    or work becomes the main priority, the tolerance
    meter is impacted. You may find yourself low on
    the meter, meaning that you feel tired or irritable
    and are more likely to behave negatively.
    Below is a simple and clear way to
    understand the tolerance meter.
    Meter has two levels.
    Low: This level means that you have the
    low tolerance for your partner. You may
    find yourself easily agitated or provoked
    by little things. You may find that the
    relationship is consumed with conflict
    and arguments.
    High: This level means that you have the
    high tolerance for your partner. You are
    able to think and process the conflict.
    You are able to hold back hurt
    statements and practice empathy or
    understanding.
    The goal of the tolerance meter is to create a
    system for evaluation. A system in which you and
    your partner are able to identify what is causing the
    low tolerance or the high tolerance.
    Examples of factors that impact
    tolerance include:
    Avoiding arguments due to feeling anxiety with
    confrontation.
    Not spending time together.
    Arguing or engaging in negative conflict.
    Using hurtful statements.
    Including each other in favorite activities.
    Going on dates.
    Work life balance.
    Below are questions that you and your partner can
    answer and evaluate. Each of the questions allows
    an opportunity to overcome the challenge.
    Have I annoyed you this week?
    Have I said or done anything that hurt you this
    week?
    What have we done positive this week?
    How have I shown my partner appreciation this
    week?
    How have I worked with my partner this week?
    Did I engage in self-care this week?
    The goal of the questions is to:
    Gain a stronger understanding of what actions
    impacted the tolerance meter.
    Build skills to support the tolerance meter with
    balance.
    Practice empathy and support.
    Create a system that allows for a healthy
    tolerance level.
    In order to allow this new habit to take root in your
    relationship, there must be added value. Habits that
    are organized, value-driven and properly structured
    allow a person to have the peace of mind to follow
    direction without feeling overwhelmed or
    consumed. As a relationship counselor , I highly
    support the utilization and implementation of
    healthy habits.
    When a person associates the positive value to an
    act of change, they are often more willing to
    engage in the task and effectively complete it. You
    can work to increase value per specific task as a
    goal to improve success.
    Make it a priority to commit time to this exercise.
    The important factor to remember is that you are
    working to create a meaningful experience while
    showing your significant other that they are valued,
    needed, wanted, and loved.