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How to Talk so Everyone Will Listen
‘They say she’s very loud mouthed but she’s always very quiet when she comes in here!’

Everyone struggled in the face of rejection and disapproved looks. And it’s probably the most common thing we are all aware of – rejection.

The voice is a powerful tool that can wage war and at times say the nicest things in the world like “I love You”. Yet we all know too well how difficult it is to be heard let alone to listen.

According to Paul Tillich, the “…first duty of love is to listen”. Does that mean that we do not love or like a person when we reject them or don’t they like us or love us in return when they reject us?

Not necessarily so.

But have you ever noticed that when you are interested to know a person or individual, their word is everything? You want to learn more about them and you want to know more as much as you can. You say things like: “Tell me more”, “What else”, “tell me something else”, “what do you think”, “What do you have in mind” and etc. The eagerness to learn from that individual is so powerful that we compliment them even without saying it directly. On the other hand, when you are not interested your brain automatically shuts down and say things so you can abruptly interrupt the person speaking.

So it is just a case of liking and not liking someone?

To be honest, your presence and charisma have little to do with what you say. Although there’s a percentage that the first impression of people about you will last, people will still try to know who you are.

Let’s try to put into context the things that influence people to listen or to not listen.

  • Judgment
  • Prejudice
  • Pride
  • Negativity
  • Discontentment (Complaining)
  • Excuses or too many justifications
  • Exaggeration
  • Discrimination

We all have these inside us because we are honed in a society full of negativity. We see things differently and we perceive each thing in a way that will suit us without too much thought whether it suits everyone else.

So how will we make sure that our voices are heard?

We have to keep in mind that whenever we speak we are not talking to people of logic but people of emotions. Just because you the limelight doesn’t mean you can say whatever you want. You have the limelight because you are given the opportunity to influence, to change someone’s mind, to initiate change or to touch lives. You are in that position and it is a very vulnerable position. Anyone from the crowd can oppose you, can reject your idea, tell you that you’re wrong, or simply walk away.

But this doesn’t have to be the case.

There are actually several ways on how you can deliver yourself in a manner that people would want to listen to no matter who you are and regardless of your status. These steps can serve as your foundation for your voice to be heard.

Be yourself (Authenticity) 

Other people may judge you just for being who you are but they will do more so if they know you’re pretending to be someone else you’re not. Often times, when we are given a chance to speak our minds, we put on a mask because we are afraid that our ideas may not be as good.

To be oneself is an art.

It takes a lot of practice to carry yourself in the manner that you know and is familiar with without any false pretenses.

Be truthful to yourself, your words, and your thoughts 

Lies and deception is a huge turn-off. Refrain from lying to others and to yourself. It doesn’t that much to be honest just plain humility will do. Fabricating your words and your stories will not do you any good. It will simply cause people to mistrust your words even at times you are telling the truth.

It is often said and it is true that building your reputation can take many years but you only need a few seconds to ruin it all. The same thing goes when you lie. You may hide the truth now but it will eventually surface and you will be found out.

Be your word (Integrity)

They say that integrity is what you do when no one is looking. And if you need to be your word it means that you “walk the talk”. A preacher, for example, will not be as effective if people know that he is not his word or a politician will not be able to influence his followers if they know that he is not his word and so on.

If you want people to listen, you need to have integrity.

Be kind enough to wish people well (Love) 

If in the end, people still choose to reject you wish them well. You can only do so much through your words and some people can take a long time to be convinced. What matters is that you have been honest enough to show them who you are.

There are plenty of other ways on how to talk so people will listen but it all boils down to these four things. It doesn’t matter how strong or how loud your voice is, how powerful or influential you are, or how rich and famous, if you are not honest or truthful then everything will simply go down the drain when you speak.




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    1. Honestly at this point in my life I don’t care if people listen to what I have to say or not. My husband and kids hardly ever listen to me. Why should expect others to listen? If they listen, fine! If they don’t listen, fine! I’m OK talking to myself. 🙂

    2. People listen to you if you are a trustworthy person.
      People listen to you if you have a good relationship with them.
      People listen to you if you are sincere with everything you are saying.
      People listen to you if you are listening to them too when they are talking.
      People will listen to you if you know how to include them in a discussion and not by just talking and talking without letting them speak their mind.


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