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How to control anger and live a better life
January 15, 2018
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Anger is a strong feeling of annoyance displeasure or hostility. Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. This brochure is meant to help you understand and control anger.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can’t take things in stride, and they’re particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

Below are ways to control Anger:

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Once you’re calm, express your anger

As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.

4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything and might only make it worse.

What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered

, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we’re taught that it’s all right to express anxietydepression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don’t learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

6. Stick with ‘I’ statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use “I” statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes” instead of “You never do any housework.”

7. Don’t hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what’s making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as “Take it easy.” You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you

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    1. I do appreciate these techniques in controlling one’s anger and having a better life. These things are very practical and they could easily be followed. They would indeed help everyone for it is not good to get angry with anyone though there is a reason to do that effect.

      Harboring a grudge is unhealthy kind of attitude. The Bible is so clear that everyone should forgive each other and never maintain a grudge. If not their salvation would be in great danger. It is the Lord Himself who said that and we should follow His advice or counsel for it is for our own salvation. He doesn’t want us to suffer. He really loves us.

       
      • Yes Gil, Thank you for the appreciation. And I do cherishes the bible verse from book of Ephesian 4 verse 26 , be angry and do not sin but do not let the sun go down on your anger.Also, it creates alot of grudges just as you said which would usually have effect on the body in due time

         
        • Thank you, Jessica for confirming my reaction. It is indeed true and I am strongly believed what the Bible says. I am always reading it from cover to cover. I am used to reading it especially when I am having a class on religion with my students. It indeed supplements my incomplete or insufficient knowledge about the words of God, His traits and character especially His unfeigned love for everyone of us.

           
    2. It’s good what’s written but it’s hard to do so.

       
    3. Anger is indeed very hard to control and or to avoid. I have a bad tendency to bottle it up and then eventually I explode. Your simple tools are very much appreciated and I will try to use them. Thank you for an exceptional post.

       
    4. nice post about emotions.

       

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