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May 10, 2016 at 5:08 pm

A big trouble with some seniors is that they are stuck in their own time and like to start every conversation with “In our times, this did not happen.”

True, but times have changed. Children are exposed to many things on media, the effects of which can be minimized but not totally eradicated.

Seniors have to make an effort to keep us with changing trends and demands the younger people have on their time and personality.

May 10, 2016 at 5:18 pm

I am a senior and I have chosen to withdraw from situations where juniors would have to go out of their way. I can understand if one is will but not when there is a social event fro examplewhere a youngster’s presence would be important and so tagging along and not giving them space is what I would avoid.

May 10, 2016 at 5:28 pm

What I meant by change was the duties and responsibilities that many younger mothers now have to take up.

For example, my grandmother was a simple housewife. She never drove a  car to pick and drop children to school, go to bank, take her in-laws to a hospital, attend her children’s school plays or parent-teacher meeting, stay up all night to help her son with Mathematics Kangaroo or daughter with Spelling Bee.

But many older people find it so easy to say, this did not happen in our times, we did not go out so much or stay away from home. Okay, I think I better stop.:-)

 

May 10, 2016 at 5:41 pm

@grace I feel you have kept yourself mentally active and physically busy with gardening, online writing and pets etc. , which is a great thing. You don’t seem to be emotionally dependent on others

Many older people have no activity beyond their children and once children are married, they become rather bitter and lonely.

May 10, 2016 at 7:24 pm

Children have their own load to keep their house and hearth going. But seniors do not understand it leading to resentment from both sides.  It is not true that children do not love their parents but they are helpless in giving the kind of attention their parents expect them. Partly parents themselves are responsible in that they encourage their children to leave the shores seeking greener pastures.

May 10, 2016 at 8:32 pm

@bestwriter. That’s true.Parents in 70s and 80s in our part of the world encouraged their children to go abroad for education and jobs. They were very proud of the fact that their children found work in Middle East, America and Europe but these children settled there, got married and left their parents behind

Now they may be well off but grandchildren do not even recognize their grandparents. There are no easy solutions. My household is very different. My grandmother in her 80s, my father in his 60s, my brother in his 30s and my nephew (now 2 year old) all live in same house (different sections).

I never saw my father leave the house before asking for my grandmother’s blessings but it takes a lot of patience and good manners and ability to keep tempers in check. But I also feel there is great blessing in it.

May 10, 2016 at 9:33 pm

I think the younger generation could learn a lot from us seniors, instead of putting them in nursing homes and just leaving them there.  I mean after all , all the modern technology was invented before..it was just improved on.  The younger generation could lean a lot from their seniors! 😉

May 11, 2016 at 5:11 am

Joint family system is a thing of the past when elders ruled the roost.

May 11, 2016 at 5:15 am

As I have already commented children are so placed – many a time in a different country – it is not possible for them to give the kind of attention seniors need. Good nursing homes could be the answer as there they get all the care.

May 11, 2016 at 6:30 am

@4cryingoutloud your replies about seniors in nursing homes makes me cry as I remember a certain documentary I watched in the past. It is still hurting me. I agree, younger ones need to learn from senior, it is not that they do not have gadgets that make everyone know-it-all at present it means they know it all. Seniors have more experience, that is if the seniors is still able to help them out.

May 11, 2016 at 10:22 am

 

@dawnwriter

right you are my dear !

My mother in law told me that kids don’t have to study hard. Later on, they still have to work. So what is the point to put in effort in studying and waste time going for tuition?

I can’t believe what I had heard!

If kids were to follow the footsteps of our older generation, there won’t be any future useful generation to lead the world.

When my son doesn’t want to do his homework, she would stop me and said that homework is not important. Let him play and let the teacher punish him for not doing his homework.

Can you believe that???

May 11, 2016 at 3:25 pm

@dawnwriter I am not sure if my parents have been watching TV programs, online information and they have friends and still go out to have some activities often, they understand that the world now is different from theirs. The children nowadays are different as well. Sometimes, I even prefer them to be a little bit old style. But, I am thankful for their understandings. Moreover, they respect me as the parent to my children, so they try not to comment too much, and leave things to us, as it’s our responsibilities to bring up our children, and we understand today’s world better than them.

@peachpurple The comment your mother in law said about kids do not have to study hard really surprised me. I thought nowadays in our country, people are more focus on academic studies and want the children or grandchildren to study hard so they can enter good university or perhaps get a good job in future. I really think that’s not a good teaching to allow the kids to not finish the homework and let the teacher punish him. I don’t mean not to let the kids play, but they need to learn to be responsible as well.

By the way, are you staying with your mother in law?

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by  Lee Ka.

May 11, 2016 at 3:30 pm

Indeed the times have changed and we’ll never really understand the generation before us and those after us – all of us lived in different times and somehow we all cannot adjust to the present.

May 12, 2016 at 1:22 am

@grecy095, yes sissy..I use to work in nursing homes.  Some families NEVER see the people that they put in nursing homes.  That’s why there is such a demand for people to work in nursing homes as well.  You don’ t get to spend personal time with each individual that is there because most nursing homes are understaffed.  A “loving” nursing homes means NOTHING to the individual if they don’t have family members that come see them!!  It’s sad!! 🙁

May 12, 2016 at 2:00 am

@slayer08 Yes, I agree with you. We actually do not know what will actually happen 10 or 20 years later, so parent should actually let the children learn to be more independent and thus they will learn how to take care of themselves, and we just take care of ourselves too.

@4cryingoutloud It’s sad to hear that.
Actually I am fine to be sent to the nursing home, or I should say I am willing to stay in nursing home if I need to. I understand children will be busy with their life in future, and I always think there are friends and more activities in the nursing home. I will stay at my home if I am still able to take good care of myself, if not, I would like to stay in nursing home as there are also doctors and caregivers to look after me, am I right?

I understand it’s sad if the children do not visit the parents in nursing home at all, but I believe if they have good connection with the children, the children would be happily visiting the parents. Sometimes I think we can’t just blame the children. Did the parents spend good time with them when they were young?