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Be on the look out for scammers.
April 7, 2017

Just recently in my country we heard of a pregnant woman who had been jumping from one bank to another deceiving people. She would go into the banks pretending that her water broke while trying to get money from the bank in preparation for the hospital. People would come to her to assist her and then end up giving to her their hard earned money. As soon as she gets the money in a particular bank, she moves on to the next.

On her out from the second bank after collecting a huge sum, a man from another bank saw her, he then walked in and asked the bankers, please has anyone just helped a pregnant woman? They all came out and screamed yes, wanting to know the reason why. He then informed them that she just duped them at the next bank of a huge sum, claiming her water broke and needed to go to the hospital.

This same lady did it somewhere else and a kind-hearted woman took her to the hospital and paid for her treatment. As soon as the lady who paid left, she immediately got up and informed the nurses that she was fine and she should please be given the money. The nurses watched in amazement, why would anyone go to this length to deceive a fellow human being. Should we blame it on the economy or what?

I stopped helping people a long time ago because of such cases. I had been helping a beggar for quite sometime, had pity on him and all. Anyway, one day in the morning, I saw this beggar coming to his usual spot. He was well dressed and neat. On getting to his spot, he took off his attire and wore and old torn attire. I shook my heard and watched in bewilderment as to what I just saw. He then proceeded with his begging for the day. Henceforth, I stopped giving him money. Some people go as far as using innocent children which they hire for this purpose. Some pretend to have bad legs, hands , etc

There was an incident on the news where a woman had been fooling pedestrians that she was hunched and was begging for money. People kept giving her money with so much pity on their faces. So the reporters where on her trail and followed her home. On getting home, she changed from her rags, became straight and no more crooked , dressed up nightly and headed straight o the club to hang out with friends. This happened in the streets of NewYork that is as busy as ever.

Why would they play anyone for a fool? We all work so hard for this money and don’t think it would be foolish enough to throw such money away on scammers. This is a huge lesson learnt, many are out there scheming new devices on how to take peoples money. Please be careful, the more you look , the less you see.  May God help us all.

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Social media menace in our generation.

The social media is like a plague in our country right now. Everyone seems to be on one platform or the other. We have accounts like Twitter, Google plus, Instagram, Facebook, Blackberry, Whatsaap, Viber etc. I am on quite a few, but I must confess I can hardly keep up. In the social media world, you can always keep in touch with people, in fact there is hardly any excuse of not being able to reach people even if you do not have their phone numbers. It seems interesting and good to communicate with family and friends.

However, one thing gets me on social media. The thought of you changing your dp just to celebrate someone. I have never been in that line, I can wish you well, but will not change my dp, but friends have made it clear to me that since I do not do it, then do not expect it from us. I was forced to join the band wagon at some point, but to be honest with you, I really do not care.

I will commend facebook  and instagram for the likes they have on their accounts for people who cannot comment, we just hit the like button. That to me relays as much message as a greeting, but to some, it’s not enough. I have tried to make people understand that I do not really have the time for such, but they have failed to listen. They have failed to understand that I cannot possibly keep up with everybody on their birthdays. There is always a birthday on each day and you must wish them well. I must commend fb again because they remind you of birthdays of family and friends. As soon as I see it, I wish them well with a very short message.

I’m grateful to social media for everything, from clothes shopping to solving problems, but we must learn to curb it a bit. I am of the opinion that we limit our use of social media to just keeping up with friends and all, after all it’s cheaper than making calls, but my only downside will be that people hardly see one another anymore. Our use of social media has reduced that for most. The only people I visit are my parents, the aged ones who cannot use social media.

This menace has also brought fame for some while it has made some rich overnight.  We are happy with the advantages but should also be weary of the harm or damages it has brought to some. My only worry with sites like whatsaap will be having all the artisans on your contact list sending you very friendly messages of which I do not condone. Just recently, my meat seller, mechanic and guard sent me one of such messages, but thank God for the block option. I have such people on instagram following me so closely it’s unbelievable. As soon as I post a picture, they like immediately even though I have the option to restrict followers by making my account private. I have personally decided to leave mine open for reasons best known to me.

Thank you social media for the good, bad and the ugly.


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I stopped buying lunch at work , how about you?
April 4, 2017

I stopped buying lunch at work in 2008 ever since I met a colleague of mine who never buys food no matter the situation. He was always with packed food from home made by his beautiful wife. I asked for reasons why he never did buy food while at work. He gave numerous reasons like, too expensive, he prefers his wife’s food, he does not enjoy eating outside. Well, I said to him, how cool is that, same goes for my husband who does not buy food outside even when hungry.

I have not looked back since 2008, I preach daily to my colleagues on how important it is to bring your lunch to work. It stops you from over eating, spending too much and eating healthy. Good food is good when carefully prepared at home with all the right stuff in it. I love good food and I love to eat, but not on the fat side. I hardly eat junk, but bread is the only bad food I am yet to resist. My colleagues complain of lack of time, but I do not see that as an excuse, because if you create time for something, you can do it.

My preparation for packed lunch is always so easy. I cook during the week and freeze, get my plastic plates ready. I already have a time table because it is easier to manage. I follow the timetable daily, warm my food and put in either a cooler bag, or I place it on a freezer bag to keep cool.  I pack my lunch with fruits like bananas and apples, then nuts as well. A bottle of water which I can always refill when needed in my lunch bag. When it’s lunch time, since we have a micro wave, I then heat up my food and eat while some people grin with envy.

Although there are times when you crave food from outside. I often crave for pizzas which I know is bad, but I eat pizzas occasionally. Food from home is always better prepared to your taste and protects you from infected food.  A day does not go buy without me carrying my lunch bag to work, filled with both breakfast and lunch. I have tried it for years and it has worked perfectly well for me. Meals are important part of our day and so should be carefully sort after. I even advice parents to do the same for children, let them enjoy your food and learn to eat healthy from inception.

Do you still buy lunch at work? There was a story recently in the media about a caterer that poisoned the food in a restaurant killing loads of people. Have a rethink and start bringing your lunch to work.



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Boy child verses girl child

I have both genders, but which is better? I remember when we had our first child (daughter), we went around informing family and friends about the birth of our new born with so much joy in our hearts. The news was good for some, while it was bad for some. Some friends were worried and said to my husband, ” Dis one wey Joy born half current so, how we go do am”? The sentence was in pidgin, some may not understand. Anyway, the translation will be, having a girl child was not so good after all. We both laughed and swallowed the bitter words.

What is wrong with having a girl child? Are boys better than girls? In my own opinion, a girl child is 100 times better than a boy child for so many different reasons. Girls are more caring, gentle, tender loving, kind and what have you. While boys are rough, not as kind, show lack of care and so on. I have both male and female as children, and I can tell you that my son is so lazy, he hardly gets anything done. While my daughter is hardworking, I am at peace when she’s home. Boys find it difficult to grasp things quick unlike girls. A girl child would care for her parents till the day God takes the life of whoever first. The boy child would care less and have no time to take care of his parents.

Society sees the boy child as the heir to the family throne, while a girl is seen as just a homemaker. A man who dies today may not leave any inheritance for his daughters but rather leave an inheritance for his son. Reasons being that the female child will leave her parents to marry someone and thereby change her name. I find this appalling and absurd. While would you discriminate amongst your children. A child is a child irrespective of his/her gender.

I love the fact that society is beginning the recognize the importance of having a girl child. Most women of today are becoming leaders and role models for the younger generation. Our role is not just the kitchen , being a home maker and all. In fact, we combine both together, beauty and brains, office and home chores. I must confess that being a housewife is a more challenging job than being at the office. A housewife must ensure everything is in place to make sure the house runs smoothly. Cooking, cleaning, ironing, mopping, sweeping, taking orders, laundry, and so many other chores for just one person to handle. These days, it just doesn’t end there alone, but the woman now contributes financially to the home.

I hope to see that he girl child is being appreciated and celebrated more than a boy child. Girls are better helpers than boys. No wonder mothers are being celebrated at least thrice a year, thanks to all the efforts we put in ensuring all is well at home.

God bless all women out there.

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What does it take to be comfortable

Are you comfortable? Do you think you can ever be comfortable? What does comfort mean to you? I will start by defining comfort. Comfort is a pleasant and satisfying feeling of being physically or mentally free from pain and suffering, or something that provides that feeling.

We were at work recently, and a colleague talked about not being comfortable. And I said to him, what do you mean? He says he hasn’t gotten to the stage of being comfortable or having what he so desires.  I said to him, what is comfort to you? He said been able to afford what he wants, eat what he wants etc. Well, I said to him, I am comfortable despite the fact that I do not own a house yet, but I have a roof above me, I can eat what I can afford, I have peace of mind and I am happy. This does not stop me from desiring to acquire more, e.g a luxury car and a house, but I am comfortable.

I explained further by saying, comfort is a state of the mind. You do not have to be so rich to be comfortable. A lot of rich people are not as comfortable as we think. The money may be there physically, but they are not mentally free. Mentally free in the sense that they are still not at a point where they can feel relaxed and say they are comfortable. I am relaxed with nothing to worry about despite the fact that I am not so wealthy. The point is, I am content with what I have. My car is not a state of the art car, I do not have a chef, I do not travel yearly, but I am happy and comfortable because I have decided and made a conscious effort to be comfortable and satisfied. As the movie Forest Gump implies with Tom Hanks, He says “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get” meaning you never know what life gives you, but rather just make the best of what you get.

I am comfortable today because I choose to be comfortable. I will not wait till I get the so called desired wealth to make the best out of life. I choose to be happy, content and comfortable. My money even if small, can get me what I want it to buy in my own terms. I manage and live around that money of mine to make me comfortable and happy. I will always live within my means and not above my means to remain comfortable and happy.


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The rich also cry with no one to turn to.

Do you all realize that the rich do cry? Well, you must have heard of a tv series titled “The Rich Also Cry”. I watched that series with joy in my heart. I have come to a conclusion that no one can ever at it all.

The rich do cry alone and silently. They do not cry openly and neither do they cry with people around. They are discreet with all that goes on around them. I have seen so many rich people whom we think from the outside world, have it all, but they are simply dying in silence behind their very white picket fences. A rich man has no one to turn to, because most people think they have it all and can solve or handle whatever befalls them. They tend to proffer solutions themselves, solutions which end up in suicide.

The rich come up with all sorts of problems like the ordinary man. Problems ranging from debt, divorce, children misbehaving, unwanted pregnancies, and so on. These are likely problems for most, but the ordinary ones seek solutions in all nooks and crannies, but the rich would quietly try to solve theirs alone because of the society. This moves me to my next line of discussion. Why do the rich hide when in difficulty?

I have come up with reasons being, the society will look down on them, they may lose all integrity and image and so on. The most important will be the shame. It would be too embarrassing to hear that a big man was caught stealing, or caught in a big scam, messy divorce, adultery etc. They tend to keep up with the Jonesess, even when things fall apart. They now begin to act that same roll as if it were good. Why live a lie? I can never live a lie. I can never pretend to be what I am not. I can never tell you I have it when I know I do not have it. I cannot promise what I can not give you. How long will one continue keeping up to lies? The truth will eventually prevail, and it may be too late then.

There have been stories of women living the lie for their husbands, in short they front for their men. They buy expensive gifts ranging from cars, watches, rings etc for themselves, but claiming their men bought them. Look at the extent one has to go just to keep up with the Jonesses. All eyes are on me, so I must look good for the cameras. Gosh! It’s sad to know. When the truth eventually prevails, the shame just doesn’t end there, it’s a long lasting memory imprinted into people for a long time.

Lesson learnt, do not think the grass is always greener at the other side. Do not envy people. It is better to be content with what you have than go out to be what you are not. Branding or repackaging does not make you happy, or get you to where you are for too long. It will all come to an end soon. The rich cry silently because some pretend, for those that have it, it’s not just all about money. Unhappiness lies beneath those smiles of women pretending to be happy.

Be yourself and come clean. Manage your finances well. First class airline ticket is not for everyone same goes for brand new cars, designer clothes and what have you. In a big mansion with 10 rooms, you can only sleep in one, if you have 10 wristwatches, you can only wear one at a time, 10 cars, drive one at a time. Be content you all and make your smiles be permanent.


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Google the preferred solution to most problems.

You heard me right, google is the most preferred solution to many problems. Some have started businesses from using google search. Anything can literally happen with a google search. For those of you who believe a problem worth sharing is a problem solved, good for you. For some its really not a good idea. I share my problems now with google only, but before google comes God.

I have over the years learnt not to share my problems anymore. Although while shared, it did not cause any damage or harm, but I have learnt to be more discreet. My secret weapon for solutions would be turn to God, and after God, I turn to google. Yes, you heard me right, google. I google for answers and I find solutions to them. Human beings tend to fail you, they disappoint you, mock you and even laugh at you. I wouldn’t want that anymore, but instead take it to google. Google will give you ways on how to solve the issue at hand or handle the issue at hand.

Google not only solves physical problems ranging from quarrels, fights, etc, but also mechanical and technical problems. I have fixed my phones, tablets, tvs, washers, burners and so on from just google. I find it remarkable, it has saved me tons of money instead of calling artisans who will charge ridiculous amounts. Google has solved my marital problems, I no longer run to human beings for solutions, they are sometimes misleading, while sometimes they guide you to the truth, but it is best to take it to God and then google.

It is amazing to know that some people still do not know the use of google or how to search for solutions on google. I laugh at them, I have no problem with not going for trainings anymore, with google I can get any online training I want to for free. With google I can get videos of instructions of just about how to do anything. I learnt how to make pretzels from google search, cook delicious African delicacies and what have you. I do not have to go to the gym for exercise, but with google, I can do it all at home. Google has been fantastic, I get to write  good letters through the help of google. I’m fast with getting solutions from google.

The internet is what makes google, so we must give kudos to the internet for this wonderful site. I have come to understand that in everything you do, take it God first and then Google. I stand for two G’s , after God, then Google.

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Are you one of those that keep malice for a long time? I used to be, and still can be, but I guess maturity has taken a better part of me. I remember in my school days, I will keep malice with my seat mate for months. We literally shared the same bench and table, but we would not talk to one another. We were both in the same house as well, but not the same room.

Will I say I enjoyed it? Yes, because we wanted to see who would be the first to apologize, certainly not me. What events lead to such malice keeping? Heated arguments, quarreling, false accusations, gossip etc I for one hate false accusation, I will definitely not be in speaking terms with you for such attitude, but I can handle a heated argument. After all, we both want to make a statement. Malice keeping helps you prove a point most times, I do it because I want to be heard, I want to stand for truth and not based on lies. I will not speak to you or resolve the matter till you come to terms with the fact of you being wrong.

In 2014, I was accused of what I did not do. I was so calm because I knew deep down I did nothing. In fact the accuser categorically told me not to ever speak to him again. I remained calm and listened to what he had to say. I never did call that person after those instructions, but I sent text messages to always wish him well on birthdays and anniversaries, he never did reply one. This went on for years, and I gradually started fading away, in the sense that, I was gradually forgetting that person. He was never in my thoughts anymore, and I cared less. We are now in 2017, the situation is still the same, and I would not make any efforts to make contact with the person unless he willingly calls me.

Another experience would be with someone who I shared a house with. He just stopped talking to me out of frustration.  He felt angry towards me because to him I was the cause of it all. I kept quiet about it after series of explanations, but since he refused to listen, I stopped talking. This continued for 7 months, I will cook and he will eat. It sounds funny right? Why eat from a woman whom you are not in speaking terms with?  That made me knew, it wasn’t that serious then. And at last, he got tired of playing the game and resolved it all. I bet I won after all.

Lesson to be learnt, maintain your ground if you are right. Do not fall or waver because the opponent is winning, you may win at the end. Keeping of malice is not that bad, but it paints a bigger picture of the true victim


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Are birthday parties really necessary?

I grew up in a household where birthday parties were the deal. I personally celebrated my birthday till the age of 13 consecutively. My mother had no problem in organizing one big bash for me each year. There was never a dull moment at these events, there was always enough to go round all those invited. My birthday gowns were the best, and I had gifts flowing.

After the last birthday at 13, my father said to my mum, it was now getting too much, and we had to put an end to it. I was never sad about it, but instead lived with all the memories from previous parties. Then came the big 21. I had a birthday party at 21, it was organised by my brother at his place, we had a big get together and that was the last of the birthdays. Henceforth, I have never celebrated or had the thought to do one. Birthdays now became a thing of the past for me. I always did attend parties of people, but never saw the use of me having one myself.

As a mother, my kids have only had significant birthday parties for ages 1 and 10. Those are the only ones they have had for now. I guess at age 18 or 21 by His grace, we shall mark those milestones. A particular friend of mine has always said to me, Joy, celebrate, why don’t you like celebrating your birthdays? And I replied saying, I had so many birthday parties when I was younger, that I just didn’t see the need to have one anymore. I have seen it all. She said hers was different, she never had the opportunity of having birthday parties because her dad died at an early age thereby leaving her young mother to fend for all 7 children. So I could understand her love for birthday parties now, for herself, husband and kids. Funny enough, she’s now into events that cater for such big gigs.

I have come to realize that birthdays must not be celebrated but could be marked with a thanksgiving in church, feeding of the less privileged and so many other stuff.  I have seen over the years that some who celebrate birthdays as in big milestones, do not always live long. Not everybody, like I earlier said. Also, I have noticed that once there’s a huge celebration about to take place, something evil is lurking in the corner waiting to happen. These are the things I have noticed when people do events like birthdays, weddings etc. I am not a believer of people cursing you or wanting to harm you, but I do know evil sure exists.

I am 41yrs, and I say after my 21st birthday celebration, I have never really celebrated any birthday. The big 40 came and nothing was done. Family members and friends, persuaded me, but I rebuffed all. I am a simple person, I do not like attention and birthday makes me nervous. I am scared to know those that will not call to wish me a happy birthday, send texts etc. I usually pray for that day to pass fast so I can move one.

My son is like me, he never wanted a 10th birthday party. We were happy because it saved us loads of money, but my daughter wanted one.  My husband has only celebrated two his whole life, 1 and 10. He is not so much of a celebrant either. I love my life the way it is and I do not get pushed at all by people to change it. It all comes naturally.

Thank you mum for all the wonderful and well celebrated birthdays of my years of existence. Love you to pieces.

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Make Yourself A Priority Once In A While

This quote I got online and its been on my mind and my dp for as long as I can have it. I have never for once seen myself as a priority, my husband, kids and loved ones were the top of the list. Today, I came across a video on Facebook about a mother lying  in a bath tub with a glass of red wine and doughnuts by her side. She spoke to us mothers and said, she had dirty dishes, laundry not folded for days, some in the washer yet to be dried, toys all over the place, but you know what, she does not give a damn. I was more than pleased with that video. I had to leave my comment. My comment was that I could relate, that was me before, but not anymore.

Well yesterday, before this video came out. I got off work early, drove to my son’s school, picked him up and decided to go for a movie with him. I left the dirty dishes, left the unwashed clothes, left the unfolded clothes, left my unmade bed and just went out to have fun. I was ready to spend all I had on me to see that we had so much fun. Movie was KING KONG (SKULL ISLAND) . We were both pleased with the movie, had hot dogs and pop-corns, brought our drinks with us to save some money. I felt so good, never felt any better. Movies were not made for weekends alone, but even during the week.

On getting out of the theatre , it was dark, we went straight home to a very untidy home. I asked my son if he was still hungry, he said no. I was fine, and that was it for the day. I showered and sat on the couch to my favorite ID channels on Crimes and Investigations. I didn’t bother with the dishes and all was left untouched. I went off to bed and did all I hadn’t done the previous night. I felt satisfied, because I didn’t have to do it, till it was convenient for me. After all, people hardly visit these days, once we have communicated on all social media networks, it’s as good as seeing one another.

The week before this video on Priorities, I went shopping for myself only. I did not take care of any other person but myself. Earlier in the year, I spoilt everyone except myself, I didn’t feel foolish, I just had so much love for them all and forgot myself, or put myself last. I drove to a friend’s shop with the intention of buying one item, but I left there with 10 items instead. I didn’t feel sad, but happy. I wore the clothes with so much joy that anyone who saw me knew I was happy.

Life should be about you once in a while. I do most of the work at home, my kids help when they are so into it. I hardly paint my nails with such beautiful nails because of dishes, I wash and clean, I do everything. I’m happy being a mother, but once in a awhile be selfish and spoil yourself. I have so learnt to be the first, without you, these people you look after cannot function, so your mind needs to be at rest. I have learnt to love my body, myself and my well being. I need a sound mind and health to function well. I take my time now to go to the club for a game of squash and aerobics. I do not have to wait for the kids to be out of the house to achieve all these. It can be done if you find time for yourself by making yourself a priority. I have discovered that things must not always be done at your expense, do it leisurely.

It’s not selfish, It’s necessary. Live life to the fullest and be happy. Are you happy? I am happy.

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