Available Balance
Matters of Forgiveness Influences Health
March 8, 2017
i forgive

In the journey of life we meet so many people who are very nice to us, who help us, like us, love us. We have lovely memories with these people.

But life is not always nice and people are not always good to us. Sometimes some people become the reason of our troubles. They become the reason of our physical or mental pain. May be someone had an intention to harm us and may be they became the reason of our hurt unintentionally.

Now the matter is that we are hurt and we are finding someone responsible for our pain.

In this condition generally we have an urge of retribution. We want revenge; we want to hurt back the person in some manner.

What happens when we have an urge of retribution?

This emotion has an extreme effect on our brain. As we all know, it’s our brain which controls the whole functioning of body. Revenge is a negative emotion and every negative emotion affect our immune system, our mood and thought process. So when we have a strong urge to take revenge from the person who hurt us, the first thing happens to us is our brain gets haunted with the thoughts of retribution. The incidence which caused us to get hurt, the person who intentionally or unintentionally became the reason of our pain, the plans to work for revenge, all these thoughts occupy the mind and create a negative vibration in heart ,brain and body.

Because of this negative vibration the person who wants revenge proceed a negative appearance and mood.

When we are stressed our body releases Adrenaline and Cortisol hormones. Being continuously stressed for the revenge keeps our body releasing these hormones and at one point it disrupt all our body functioning.  Many health’s problems starts because of this process like depression, anxiety, heart disease, digestive problems.

So at the end that gets more hurt is most probably the person who tried to take revenge.

Here what I am talking about is the matter of forgiveness .I am not trying to say that we should allow others to do whatever they want to do with us.

The matter is if the hurt was intentional or the loss was major like loss of a life, loss of dignity  or something serious then the revenge can be justified but if the hurt was miner or unintentional then we should choose to forgive.

Forgiveness has power to heal our wounds. Forgiveness has positive vibrations, it makes life easy, it helps us to forget the pain and move forward in life with new hope and plans. Forgiveness is positive. Forgiveness is healthy.

To forgive we need to be positive, confident, to have a big heart .

Why We Fall Out Of Love

Yes you read the title right.

Falling out of love.  Have you ever heard about it? Have you ever experienced it?

Falling out of love is as natural as falling in love.

We all fall in love at least once in life and some people keep falling in love again and again in their whole lives.

Well, love is all about chemical lorcha in our brain. Whenever we think about the person we love or have crush, a chemical- Dopamine is released .this chemical is feel good hormone. This hormone keeps us addicted to think about the person we love all the time because the brain feels good. Norepinephrine is another important hormone responsible to keep us addicted with the thought of our crush.

So because of these hormones, whenever we think about our beloved we feel good .this feeling keeps us attached to that thought.

We all have heard the saying that ‘Love Is Blind’. LOVE is really blind because these hormones influence the sharpness and decision making ability of brain which affects the whole appearance of the person in love. The effect of these hormones is similar to the effects of Drugs like cocaine.

I think the whole explanation is enough to clear it that why we say we are falling in love. Falling is always out of control.

What is falling out of love? Why do we fall out of love when falling in love is so amazing feeling?

There are number of reasons to fall out of love. Generally we fall in love with the beauty or physical aspects. We get attracted to the person, try our best to get his /her attention and curious to move to the next step.

Now suppose the center of affection was also interested in the person and the relationship started the way they wished. The game of hormones will go on for a little period, keeping them blind in love and addicted to each other.

After a while they start discovering more things about each other’s. When two person spend quality time together  ,they come to know each other’s  weaknesses, bad habits ,mistakes done in past ,family background ,lies etc. there can be many things they start to dislike about each other.

If the matters causing dislike or a little draw back are miner then the possibility is there to solve the differences and live a happy life together. Sometimes the matters of conflicts are serious and the other person just cannot accept or cooperate like- the one person is characterless, lack of physical or mental strength, any kind of addiction, with which other one is not okay, and financial problems, abusive nature etc.

Happy to know you are in problem
March 3, 2017

Have you ever had a person in your life who secretly felt happy and relieved if he came to know that you are in trouble or you have some problem?

The question looks weird to you, doesn’t it?

Well there are really some people on this planet who feel happy and satisfied to see other people in problem.

Are they very bad and ill willed?

No, they are not bad of ill willed. They are just like the rest world. They do jobs, have families, friends, they participate in social activities.

Why will someone feel happy finding others in trouble?

The roots of the problem lie in subconscious mind. Even the person may be completely unaware of his mental condition.

They are those people who are suffering in their own lives. May be they are not satisfied with their jobs, family life, financial conditions, health conditions, body image, social image etc.

They may have some unfulfilled wishes or unachieved goals.

These unachieved goals and wishes keep them dissatisfied and bitter. Most probably they look fine and pleasing personalities but in their subconscious minds they are negative, jealous and bitter. They are envoy   of people who are doing good in their lives, who looks happy, successful and satisfied in their view.

As because they find themselves unhappy inside watching others happy and satisfied or even trying to achieve their goals makes them uneasy, it can take peace of their minds. Although on our face they show that they are happy for our success and happiness in side it’s very hard for them to digest it easily that others are happier than them. They will cheer us, party with us in our successful moments while inside dying to cry.

So when they hear that someone is having some trouble, their subconscious mind gets relief that they are not only who is suffering there are others who are also suffering. No matter the person who is suffering is their dear one but it gives them some kind of pleasure and satisfaction.

They may offer help and suggestions, show that they are worry more than anyone for the person in problem but in side they are extremely amused that the person is in trouble and now it will also be sad and depressed like them. Although they offer help and all but never do genuine effort to really solve the problem.

It is not difficult to recognize these kinds of people because with all their efforts to show their sadness and offer to help the expressions on their face expose them very well. The mind got amused by the fact that someone is having problem, so their entire existence is amused and they fail to hide it.

We cannot blame someone for being like that because it is their subconscious mind which  is ruling them .

Have you ever met this kind of person?


Power Of Spoken Words By Parents To Their Children

In India, we have culture of touching feet of elders in order to greet them and in response they say live long, may God fulfill your every wish, remain happy …and many more blessings are in list.

Every religion uses power of words to pray and worship, like in Hindu dharma mantras are used, Muslim has Quran, Christine dharma has Bible.

So we are all aware of the power of words. Whatever we speak goes in the atmosphere and affects our surroundings. The house, office, shop, school any place where people speak bitterly always has a tense atmosphere and negative energy flows there.

A place where people speak nice words has a very pleasing atmosphere and positive energy flows there.

The person, who has a habit of speaking nicely, gets more friends and people like him more than a bitter or less mannered person.

How the words spoken by parents affect their children?

It is a universal truth that in children’s view their parents are not less than God.( I would like to mention that exceptions are surely there). Children think that their parents are perfect and whatever they do is right and whatever they say is true. They see their ideal in parents.

Every action taken by parents and every word spoken by them leave an everlasting effect on the personality of children. For example if parents have a positive personality and they use positive and encouraging words while talking with their children most probably children will also develop a positive personality. Given a loving and encouraging atmosphere helps them to grow up with full potentials.

If parents are positive they accept children’s mistakes and weaknesses easily and without unnecessarily criticizing them they help the children to correct their mistakes, to overcome the feeling of guilt and learn from mistakes. Their choice of positive and wise words helps children to focus on their strength rather than weaknesses.

These lucky children do well in life, can achieve heights of success and live happy and satisfied lives.

(I would like to mention that exceptions are always there)

Let’s imagine what happens when parents have negative personality. First of all their negative personality affect the whole energy in the house, negative energy flows there which mood and behavior of each person living there. If parents have negative mindset they cannot handle their children’s weaknesses and mistakes with positive attitude, so they criticize them, they make them feel guilty which do not help children in any manner. The children grown up in these circumstances can never be able to have healthy self-esteem. They lack confidence which affect their whole personality.

The criticizing and cursing words of parents affect the conscious and subconscious mind of children which plays an important role in their whole life achievement, their mental state, confidence, self-respect. They can never overcome the atmosphere and negative feeding during their upbringing

For example if parents say to a child that he can never do well in a particular subject, most probably the child will never be able to do that because this statement affected his subconscious mind and mind accepted it as a  truth because it was said by its parents and they are never wrong in children’s view.

I would like to mention a true story here; it is about a girl full of potentials. It was her bad luck that she was born   in a family where parents had serious personality disorders. Father was suffering from anxiety and the mother was suffering from low self-esteem .they both were negative and criticizing personalities. The girl was quite bright in studies and good in other areas also, but the behavior of her parents affected her badly. She could never be guided in positive and encouraging words. She was criticized badly for her every mistake, rarely told how to improve. She suffered low self-esteem and lack confidence in everything she did. Many times I heard her mother cursing her like- it’s you who will regret for your deeds, you will never be happy in life because you are being a bad girl etc..

I still know her. She got married to a person who does not deserve her, she has two children both suffering from some health issues, and she herself is not in good health condition.

When I see her I feel that her mother’s curse had real effects on her whole life. It is really sad.

I wish no one ever uses negative words to anyone.

How to live our lives in artistic manner
March 1, 2017

Tic –tic – tic the watch keeps showing the passing time .Days comes and goes. Week’s months and year keep passing and seems like matter of days that we went   from childhood to teenage, young age and finely the old age came.

It seems like decades disappeared in blinks and there was so much to do, so much to achieve, so many places to visit, so much to learn, so much to read which we could not do.

Many people in their mid-age start feeling depressed because they feel that they could not do as good in their lives as good they would have liked to do.

How can we live our every moment of life in a way that if ever we look back we do not feel that it was wasted  .How to live life at its fullest.

I think that the answer is Live THE Life In Artistic Way.

Now the question is how can we live our lives in artistic way?

I would like to explain it in points –

1-we should take life in day to day basis. Thinking about past cannot help us as we cannot change or get it back and worrying about future is also waste of time because it has not come yet. So we should try to make the present day beautiful and meaningful.

2-Enjoy every little moment at its fullest. For example waking up in the morning is such a beautiful thing. Look at the sky, hear the sound of birds, feel the freshness of the morning. It’s all about feeling, feel the blessing of a new morning which can be full of hope.

Enjoy your cup of tea, talking with your loved ones, walking in the garden, cuteness of a child  , beauty of flowers ,smell of rain or whatever fills your heart with joy .

We generally do not pay much attention to these small but very precious things. Admiring them can really make our days full of joy.

3-Do Practice gratitude each day. This is the most important thing we forget to do. We are all blessed with so many things in life which we start to take for granted. The family we have, our parents, the life partner we have, our children, friends, a home to live, food, clothes, chance to be educated …the list is endless. There are many unfortunate people in world who are not that blessed.

4- Learning new things in every stage of our life is very beautiful way to make life meaningful. It is like entering in a new world. Learning new skills not only improves our personality but also it is a smart way to utilize our time.

5- We all live a very busy life. Every day we have a list of tasks to complete and in order to do that we do every work most of the time without giving much thought or attention to them.

The artistic way to get our works complete is doing them more mindfully and enjoying the period of working on them. The list is long and time is always limited. Choose numbers of your work for a day on the priority basis, no need to rush for everything. It’s okay to do less numbers of work but in beautiful manner.

For example if  you are cooking food ,Take your time ,put your heart and mind together at the present moment and enjoy every step with all your being. You will see the difference.

If you are having a cup of coffee, pay your attention to the aroma, taste of it, you are giving a bit of me time to yourself so enjoy it with full attention.

5- Be nice to yourself and others. It is the artistic way of living. When we are nice to ourselves and others, it makes life beautiful and easy.

6-Forgive others for their mistakes and forgive yourself also for the mistakes you did. Forgiving makes way for new and positive energy.

7-Compliment others for whatever good they have or done. Finding good in others is also artistic way to express ourselves.

8-Relax, we do not need to stress over everything. Every situation is not in our control, so relax and have hope for the best.

This list can be never ending. I hope the few points I could mention will Conway the way of artistic living.

When Someone Becomes Our Obssesion
February 27, 2017

Love, care, affection, jealously, expectations, disappointments are some of instincts of human being.

A human is driven by his brain and heart. If there is a balance between heart and mind, the life goes easily and we are able to live a happy life.

The sad fact is, this is not what happens with most of the people. In modern age people are suffering from a disorder which is obsession for something.

Some people are obsessed with their career and they can go any extent in order to get the heights of success, some are with the body image (they spend all their time either working on body building or thinking about it), some people are obsessed with money, some are with devises …and the goes on.

What happens if a person gets obsessed with another person? Why it happens?

When a person is obsessed with something, his mind is all haunted by the thoughts of that thing. The balance between heart and brain gets misbalanced.

So if a person is obsessed with someone, he can’t keep his mind and heart away from the subject. If the subject is around he may feel a little relief as he can show his affection to it and can try to charm it.

Now if the subject does not think about him in the manner he wants, the situation gets very complicated and dangerous. As it’s a disorder, the possibilities are that the person is not normal and well behaved in other actives also. It increases the chances of rejection by the subject. Now the person whose mind and heart is occupied by thoughts of subject and because of that he is not at ease is not in the state to accept the rejection.

These kinds of situations result in Murder, Acid attack, Kidnap, Rape etc.

But if the subject is not in the reach, the situation can be dangerous for him and others. As I mentioned earlier that it’s a disorder, it comes with many other problems like anxiety, jealously, aggression and many others.  The person cannot concentrate   on any other thing and he is always restless as he went his center of affection near him. In this condition his career, family, health everything suffer. As the mind is occupied by the thoughts of subject he may lose his aptitude which can worsen the condition.

In order to get the subject he can take dangerous steps which also can have very bad results.

The person who is most affected by this disorder is the subject, the person who is desired by the patient of obsession.

What do you think about this disorder? What is the cure for the problem?

Have you ever met this kind of person? Have you ever suffered this disorder?

Making of this painting was a journey to discover myself
February 26, 2017

It was my marriage anniversary and my husband wanted to know what I want as a gift. I told him that I want to visit an art gallery; he agreed happily .I am an artist and do paintings, so I just wanted to see others work.

We went to famous art gallery where an exhibition was going on.it was full of marvelous paintings.

The organizer of the gallery is a very nice woman.  When she came to know that I am an artist, she was much interested to display my paintings in her gallery. I could learn many things from her in the short meeting. I promised to come with my painting to display in any next exhibition.

After two months I was there again with my medium sized Madhubani painting. She liked it very much and received nice words of appreciation.

Now she suggested me to work on a big frame and paint a master piece. The size suggested by her was three times of the canvas I usually paint, so I was not sure where will I get that big canvas.

She was much kind to ensure me that she will get it for me.

Within few days I received a call from her that my canvas has been delivered to the gallery and I can pic it up. I was excited, happy, nerves and hopeful al at the same time

Now a new problem started, where a few days ago I was full of ideas, suddenly I was blank. The canvas stood innocently in my study and I was struggling to find a perfect subject or idea to paint on it

Few months went like this. I was not getting a perfect idea and secretly I doubted my ability to paint a giant canvas at the expected level. I was unaware that I was getting in to depression   . I started to get irritated easily; I was not getting happiness in anything. The continuous tension started to affect my health.

By the way finely it was December when I started working on my giant canvas. I named my theme Swapna Lok.

It took me one month to draw my imagination on canvas .on January first I started to paint it and it took three months to complete the painting .Oil paints take time to dry and working on a big canvas is a challenge with oil paint because there are always chances to spoil the earlier work which happened many times and I needed to correct it again and again.

I was working on the canvas almost five to seven hours every day as I do most of my house hold work myself ,my every other responsibility was also suffering. I was not getting proper rest and when I tried to sleep in night, I was all haunted by my painting and amazing ideas to make it more beautiful.

The more I worked on it the more things I discovered to make it amazing. The painting was getting beautiful day by day and my health was getting worse day by day. The last month of working on it was like death bed for me. I was barely able to follow my daily routine, my appetite was gone, I was too weak to stand for long.  Every day I sit for hours and worked on my painting. Finely in march it was complete. The day I did my signature on it, I took the breath of relief .Now it was time to take care of my health.

The making of this painting became a long journey for me. I learn a lot, loose a lot and most importantly I discovered myself  again.

How i got my health back
February 24, 2017

I am an artist; I do oil paintings and draw sketches of people. I have been blessed with good health and strong body from childhood. I never get ill easily.

Last year my health started to get from bad to worse. I was not able to understand the reason behind it because I was doing everything suggested for good health like eating right food, doing exercise, drinking a lot of water etc.

The problem started getting serious day by day and it became a challenge for me to do at least the basic required work daily. I and my family were worried about my decreasing health condition and we had no idea about the reasons.

We consulted a doctor, who too was clueless about the reason of the problem. Well, we started medication which could not help much. I lost six kilogram of weight in four months and I looked really weak.

When the problem started I was very busy with a big painting and it took three months to complete it.in this period whenever I got time I searched about the reason of my health problem on internet. I was talking about it every time with every near and dear ones.

One day suddenly I realized that my mind was occupied by the state of my health all the time. That was the time when I decided to divert my mind from that topic and be grateful for the good things I have.

I started doing meditation on daily basis which helped me to be stress free. I started to be thankful to God for everything. I shifted my mind completely from problem to blessings and solutions

However I was still ill, I thanked God for making me healthy again.  In my mind I kept repeating I am healthy, there is no decease in my body healthy. I convinced myself that I am completely healthy and illness has left my body. I stopped thinking about the problem.

One more and the most important thing I started to do was Yoga. I joined yoga class and did it seriously. After doing it on regular basis the treasure of benefits I started to receive. Within two weeks I began to feel strong again.my life was again on the track .i and my family could start to enjoy our lives again. I got batter months by months and now after one year I am completely healthy and strong.

I still practice gratitude, try to be positive and practice yoga regularly.


Three reasons why old people choose to live alone
February 22, 2017

Society is changing in many ways.  In these changing situations we find the responsibilities and expectations in families and relationships are also changing in a broad way.

Few decades ago it was responsibility of adults to take care of their elders .Children were responsible for their parents wellbeing and all their requirements .Parents were also happy to choose the option of living with their children as they enjoyed their company , spending time with grandchildren and the care and love they received by living with them.

Now days it’s common that elders prefer to live alone. There are few reasons responsible for their decision –

1 – Young generation is very busy- Young generation is very busy with their work, weekend’s enjoyment, social media, personal and professional problems and other responsibilities .they are left with less time and patience to take responsibilities of elders. Elders also understand the demand of modern time so they choose to be on their own.

2-Different lifestyle – It is the matter of generation gap. The both generations have their own style of living. Old generation  usually like to life a disciplined life like- to  sleep early ,wake up early ,eat home cooked food etc. while new generation have a totally different life style. Eating out, late nights working or outings are part of young generation routine; they do not follow disciplined lifestyle like the old generation. Elders find it difficult to adjust with them.

3- Matter of freedom- This is the most important point. Everyone loves his freedom. With the changing time the mind set of everyone has changed. Old people also don’t want to lose their freedom so they choose to live alone although they find it difficult to survive on their own because of growing old. By living in their own house they can do what they want to do, they can spend their time how they want to, at the same time they do not want to disturb the freedom of their children so they choose to set them free.

These are some reasons which lead old generation to choose to live alone no matter how much they love their children .

What keeps women stick to their unfaithful partners
February 18, 2017

Human nature is such a mysterious thing that it keeps me wondering about how it works. I find many people suffering in their relationships but still sticking to it.

At one side people show love and care about their life partners and at the other side they let them down by being fascinated about others, staring at them or having friendship with hidden intentions with them .Even some times they either show off their love for their partner or put them down in order to draw the attention of their interest.

I think this can be the most insulting situation for the partner who is being used for such a mean purpose, and the person who does this kind of behavior must be a really mean person.

This behavior is common in men and the victims are women who are mostly and commonly taken for granted by their life partners .They are always expected to be loving ,caring ,understanding ,supportive , no matter how they are treated .If they try to object ,complain or show their disapproval to the unfaithful behavior they are made to feel bad ,wrong .Many times they face extreme response if they try to protest.

Now the matter of mysteriousness comes again, after suffering this type of mean treatment for years they choose to stick to the relationship .No matter how many fights they had because of that, they still try to be with the same person who had let them down many times and will do it again according to his convenience .

Few women find the courage to end these kinds of relationships others never dare to do that.

I ask why? what is the reason behind it?

If you are reading this, I would like to ask you what you think. Do you think its normal behavior that a person who is in a relationship keeps wandering or being a little unfaithful with his life partner?

Is it over reaction if the partner of such person objects and gets upset .What should she do? DO you feel fine if your wife or husband have a habit of staring on opposite sex?